So you know the scene in season 3 where Hannibal asks Will if it was good to see him and Will says “no”.
Well for one it’s absolutely heartbreaking. You can see Hannibal’s heart shatter.
But also I think the reason Will said it wasn’t good to see Hannibal was because their relationship and their feelings for each other could never be described or defined with words as simple, as banal, as certain as good.
Seeing Hannibal was like sitting up straight and hearing all the bones of your back crack after working bent over your computer for hours.
Seeing Hannibal was like shutting off the light when your eyes are red and in pain from the brightness.
Seeing Hannibal was like letting go of a heavy grocery bag you were carrying that bit into the skin on your palms making it red and irritated.
Seeing Hannibal was like taking that first painful breath of air that feels like it tears your lungs after drowning in ocean water.
Seeing Hannibal was beautiful and painful, relieving and choking, warm and cold, surreal and grounding, satisfying and heartbreaking and all of those things and more and all at once.
It was not good to see Hannibal because good just doesn’t cut it.
Because there are no words in the world that can even come close to describing what seeing Hannibal again was like for Will.
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