Reasons Wretched and Divine

all men know how to do these days is scamper and scuttle

i hate airpods dude id rather be broke than have two lil tiny things to keep track of. “oh there’s like a carrier” muh muh muh like i’ll remember the carrier when im barreling out of my door with the bus coming in 2 minutes. an airpod falls out and falls into a storm drain. i fling my head around to watch it fall and the other one flies out into the street and my bus crushes it. i scream in agony and run up to it and the bus just barrels straight over me bc bus drivers in chicago have 3 kill allowances a year

ash is going to let me be the second mother of her not-yet-conceived child im going to be like the cool aunt

We’re still fucking friends and I’m sitting across from her as she’s pregnant with this child and I’m STILL going to be the cool aunt. @casdcan

I just want to say that her daughter is about to turn 2 years old and I love both of them dearly and this post, from the beginning, was a self fulfilling prophecy. 

I did an activity once it was horrifying