so that you may know the secrets of your heart

time to relish in the suffering I take it

[takes a deep breath] okay so. my problem is that I keep trying to look at stuff from a mundane perspective when what I'm going through and the material I'm made of actually belong to the mythical. got it

I'm so incredibly frustrated. I want to blow myself up

I'm so hungry but I'm completely unable to cook at my mom's house (the way she keeps her kitchen drives me absolutely bonkers I absolutely cannot deal) or at my dad's (everything very clean and nice, but the only spice in his cabinets is salt)

I guess I am still a silly 15 year old in my heart...

feeling strangely optimistic about the future today despite all the Things. one day I will have a career, actually. I will keep finding out more about myself and discovering new and wondrous things. All pain will lead me to secret understanding, paid in blood. Not half a worry or sigh of longing will go unnoticed.