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saying aces/aros aren't inherently lgbt does not makes you acephobic or arophobic. it simply means that you're not lgbt, and that's ok. heteromantics aces and heterosexuals are completely valid, but including them completely misses the point of why this community exists.
a gay ace man is lgbt because of his solely attraction to men, not because he's asexual. it's not a hard concept to grasp.
acephobia would be something like "you just need to be fixed", or "you just haven't met the right person yet". that's why saying aces/aros isn't ace/arophobic.
trans men who are comfortable using "feminine" stuff (dresses, makeup, skirts, etc) ARE STILL MEN!! i don't get how it wouldn't be dysphoria indulcing for them, but he's still a man.
the same goes for trans women. they ARE allowed to behave or dress masculine. it doesn't makes them any less of a woman.
they aren't "transtrenders", they're just comfortable enough to dress whatever they want.
you preach about bi rights until a bisexual person speaks about the harms of the pan label.
you preach about how bi people are wonderful until one of them says they don't have a preference and are attracted to all genders.
you preach about all that while also silencing bisexuals and putting them into a box while also supporting a label that directly redefines them all; and while not all of them are affected by it, you ignore those who are.
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i post anti-pan things simply because the pan label is something that affects me severely and i'm not going to stop. if you care about pan people so much then complain at every other anti-pan person that is out there, there's many.
i won't stop, and some won't stop supporting pans. deal. i literally don't care.
Shoutout to @nao-me-odeio cuz I am bisexual, I married a pansexual man, and no, his identity doesn’t erase mine, mine doesn’t belittle his, we live in love and harmony with one another because we know that our ways of describing our mspec attraction doesn’t harm the other’s identity but the different terms fit us better.
You don’t have to be mad at pansexuality. You can say that y’all “explained” how “pannies” are harmful to the bi community but when you resort to language policing in a way that mirrors ace exclusionists then that’s not really a vibe (though to be fair you’re an exclusionist so that doesn’t surprise me. Really though? 2020 and you’re still an exclusionist? That’s like, SOOOOOO 2017, pal.)
So like… Y’all decided to co-opt a term that an etsy artist came up with for a hella cute series of stickers and pins, to use as a weapon against other mspec identities. Like on one hand y’all are like “we don’t hate people who identify as pan because you’re victims u.u” but then you’re also repeatedly making fun of “pannies” so all I know is that I can’t trust you or your bullshit little movement.
your experience isn't universal. i complain at the pan label whenever i want because it does affects me. i am not witchhunting pansexuals or whatever, i just post about it on my blog only.
also that "etsy artist" didn't even made the actual term, it was someone else on twitter but not them. the artist claimed it as theirs.
if u don't like what i do then block me because i have the right to do so 😻, it's good that you're happily married with someone but i'm not going to shut up about something that hurts me.
not when that second meaning completely overrides the original! saying that "words can have more than one meaning" helps with the demonizing of this condition. what's so hard about typing "pansexualphobia" or "antipan" instead of being ableist?
""b-but... it's not medically recognize-"
that isn't important. the meaning still has nothing to do with pansexuals. it's a word used by those who have generalized anxiety disorder. it's not hard to use anything else, right? also, many things were not medically recognized in the past because people but it doesn't means that those things didn't actually existed. people just didn't know.
even if it is very used as a symptom of others mental illnesses, it is still a fear that people have and are diagnosed with. you defining it as discrimination against pansexuals buries the actual definition. the current definition of panphobia means constantly dreadful or fearful about everything, as if something really bad could happen.
also, you can't "reclaim" panphobia because it never was used against pansexuals.
And now you’re gonna stoop so low as to police the kind of language people are allowed to use in order to describe the discrimination they face. HUH. Very similar to when I was dealing with ace discourse a few years back and aces were being told “it’s only corrective r*pe when it happens to lesbians!”
I have never in my life heard of anyone with generalized anxiety disorder refer to it as panphobia. Which is not to say that you’re lying, because I did do my basic research and found that it is a thing, BUT I also found it as meaning anyone with antipathy towards pansexual people. A word having more than one definition does not erase the usage of one of the definitions.
Side note the wikipedia page referring to panphobia has “ For fear or disgust toward pansexual people, see Biphobia“ at the top which is it’s own can of worms to deal with.
If it makes you feel better, the term “panphobe” only has one definition, so I can just keep calling you the panphobe that you’ve blatantly made yourself out to be.
wow it's not like panphobe had the same definition since 1911 and it only changed because people wanted to be oppressed! anyways sorry that you're deciding to be ableist. people have been diagnosed with it but who fucking cares, let them suffer, right?
Hey nonbinary lesbians! Did you know that the terfs agree with you that you being afab lets you call yourself lesbian? Did you know that means that all of us were right when we said you’re pushing transphobic bullshit when you say your agab determines your sexuality label? (Because terfs also think trans men can be lesbians)
Everyone agrees biological sex determines sexual orientation. Does that make all scientists/sociologists/psychologists TERFs, or does it mean you’re wrong? (Although it’s not wrong to have a gender preference, hence why some bisexuals use polysexual or pansexual instead.)
The transphobic bullshit here is your trans exclusion, so who are you calling a TERF, you TERF?
Why do tras base their ideas off of what we disagree with? Like "terfs think that" is such a gotcha to them. I also believe that 2+2=4. We don't have to disagree on literally everything.
No actually I agree with that. There’s things terfs think that I can agree with to some extent, like how the makeup industry is often a huge player in women’s insecurity. Or how the societal expectation of women shaving their legs is unfair and unnecessary. Because at the end of the day. I could absolutely have a conversation about those things with a terf and probably agree with them in some way or another.
The “terfs think that” thing can go way too far sometimes... but in this case I was just pointing out that there’s a reason those of us don’t like the idea of non-women using women only terms based on their birth sex... and that reason is that it justifies misgendering.
What are nonbinary lesbians supposed to call themselves? Are they supposed to ignore that they're female? Are they supposed to pretend that lesbians can't be attracted to them? Are they supposed to ignore lesbian history of not feeling comfortable in the confines of male-defined womanhood?
I don't really know what they're supposed to use if not lesbian. And I don't know why (mostly) non-lesbians have decided they get to make that choice. Because in my years of being in a community that was mostly nonbinary lesbians, I didn't see any lesbians mad about that. I only saw random outsiders mad that a female dare go by they and still use lesbian.
I’ve seen people use trixic. They don’t have to ignore that they’re female, but they are saying that they’re not a woman. So the way I see it, if you’re going to go saying you’re not a woman... you can’t use terms that are women exclusive.
There’s many lesbians, including myself, who feel annoyed at the idea of people who claim not to be women saying that they’re women who love women. They claim to be genderless, so they should use genderless language. I don’t know where you got the idea that it’s mostly non lesbians who are speaking against this? In my experience most of us who don’t like the idea of non women calling themselves lesbians are lesbians themselves, because we feel that people are making lesbian no longer mean “woman attracted exclusively to women”, but to mean “non man attracted to non men”.
Sure, lesbians can be attracted to them, because most of them look like women. But many lesbians (again including myself) might not be comfortable with dating somebody who isn’t a woman.
additionally, there's not only trixic but also feminamoric. they both mean the same thing, but trixic isn't the exclusive attraction to women - it can still be used as that and a enby can use both terms, though - and feminamoric is STRICTLY attraction to women. trixic is the equivalent of sapphic, feminamoric is the equivalent of lesbian.
"but those terms have no history"
then make history. this is what happened with "lesbian": a rich history was made just to show to our heteronormative society that wlw always existed.
you just don't get to change the definition of lesbian, it always meant WOMEN loving women. and when i say "women", i'm not talking about demigirls, genderfluids, etc. i am talking about 100% binary women. so a trans or cis woman (stay mad terfs). nothing more.
"but enbies can be female-aligned"
honestly? this is just a excuse. people who say that can't admit that those "fem-aligned" enbies are just FEMININE. exactly. they're not women to be lesbians. shocking, huh? there are terms made exclusively for your enbies attracted to women or men only. there is no excuse to not use them.
"b-but-"
i will say this again: lesbian is a term for WOMEN. not feminine people. by calling yourself a lesbian when you're a enby, you're misgendering yourself AND can trigger dysphoria on afab nonbinary people. the meaning of lesbian never changed.
also, it's true that cis or trans lesbians can be attracted to enbies if they look feminine. the brain assigns gender at everything, meaning every person will LOOK feminine or masculine. but once they know they're non-binary, the attraction will fade away. you may think, "that's stupid! they can still date a non-binary person if they want to!" and that's so wrong.
first of all, if you date a non-binary person when you call yourself lesbian, you can no longer be considered a lesbian. a non-binary person is neither a man nor a woman, BUT they can look feminine or masculine. if a "lesbian" woman decides to date a non-binary person, it means that:
the "lesbian" is seeing the enby as their agab (in this case, afab)
the sexuality of that woman is something else but not lesbian, and they're confused
so... TL;DR? you don't get to redefine the meaning of lesbian just because you want to be woke.
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not when that second meaning completely overrides the original! saying that "words can have more than one meaning" helps with the demonizing of this condition. what's so hard about typing "pansexualphobia" or "antipan" instead of being ableist?
""b-but... it's not medically recognize-"
that isn't important. the meaning still has nothing to do with pansexuals. it's a word used by those who have generalized anxiety disorder. it's not hard to use anything else, right? also, many things were not medically recognized in the past because people but it doesn't means that those things didn't actually existed. people just didn't know.
even if it is very used as a symptom of others mental illnesses, it is still a fear that people have and are diagnosed with. you defining it as discrimination against pansexuals buries the actual definition. the current definition of panphobia means constantly dreadful or fearful about everything, as if something really bad could happen.
also, you can't "reclaim" panphobia because it never was used against pansexuals.
You may have heard of what happened in Lebanon today and if not, basically, there was a big explosion in Beirut that affected many cities, destroyed shops, homes, cars, caused many injuries and deaths. The cause is uncertain.
As a fellow lebanese myself (that also lives there), today was absolutely terrifying, probably the scariest moments of my life. We heard a deafening sound as the floors were shaking. Some of us thought it was an attack, others thought it was an earthquake. As soon as it ended many expected a second one, which luckily never happened.
Here's a video of what happened that was sent to me, there are also many others that you can find online.
Windows were broken, doors wrecked, cars flipped over, buildings collapsed, people hit by flying or falling objects, and unfortunately, many didn't make it out alive.
We were one of the lucky ones, our families and friends were all safe and our homes were fine.
Some people couldn't even get out of the crumbling builings, so we saw corpses being pulled out, although some people survived the crash. But wherever we looked, there was blood, poeple were half covered in it, their shirts, pants, hair, everything. And that sight was traumatizing.
We watched the news with elders severely injured, children with blood-spattered shirts and people in pain that couldn't get in the hospitals because they were full.
Some people are missing. Just try to imagine the pain and fear their families and friends are feeling.
Articles about what happened, there are a lot more
Officials expect death toll to rise after huge blast rips through Lebanon's capital.
The explosion took place at the port shortly before 19:00 local time (18:00 CET) with a large cloud of smoke billowing over the city. Eyewit
Not only are we in the middle of a pandemic, but Lebanon is also going through a very serious economical crisis. To give you an example, before, $1 equaled 1 500 lebanese pounds. Nowadays, $1 equals more than 7 000 lebanese pounds. Not to mention that we obviously don't have any dollars at disposition, so yeah we're fucked.
People are hungry, homeless, unemployed. And even if they are getting paid, it'll be useless since the prices of everything went up because they were affected by the economical fiasco.
Important additional information
Today, I heard my 7 year old cousins scream in fear that they were going to die. I saw my aunt shaking, worried that her children won't survive. I saw my dad freak out while trying to reassure us when we both knew that we were uncertain about the next minutes of our lives. I heard the panic in the trembling voices of my family and friends as they couldn't believe what had just happened. I thought my loved ones and I were going to die in the next seconds.
I'm never forgetting those moments and feelings.
I don't think signing petitions will help, i don't even know if the following links will help either, I just know Lebanon and it's people are desperate for anything because the future of this country is extremely uncertain.
https://helplebanonnow.carrd.co/
How can you help?
https://lebanoncrisis.carrd.co/
Lebanon Needs You More Than Ever. Know more about the crisis in Lebanon, sign petitions, donate or explore volunteering opportunities.
Help families, domestic workers, and refugees in Lebanon with food and other basic needs during this economic and public health crisis
I think donating to the red cross would be the most helpful, so if you are considering it, it'd be great.
There are so many great threads on twitter about what you can do to help, just search help lebanon or something to find them. Also if you can, please donate, and as I said, the lebanese pound is pretty much worthless currently so USD is way more useful to us.
Why is it that the people who can write a 500 word essay on how cottagecore and other aesthetics are harmful and evil, are the same people who don't see how certain identities are harmful and want to let people do whatever they want
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"guys people are dying but i'll make a joke about it anyways because of the fucking prefix because i'm super funny heehee x3 woaaah i'm so superior!! bi bad!! loool!"
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