Have a conversation with your 9 year old. The first thing that you will want to say is how much you love them. The most important part of this conversation is the question that you will ask them which is, is there anything that you want or need more from me? In order to receive a truthful and accurate answer, your behavior needs to be focused on their answer. Do not be distracted as in looking at your phone, or your watch, or looking around the room thinking that it needs to be clean. What they have to say is the most important thing to you. One answer may be that your child wants to spend more time with you. Have a conversation with your 9-year-old. The first thing that you will want to say is how much you love them. The most important part of this conversation is the question that you will ask them, which is, is there anything that you want or need more from me? In order to receive a truthful and accurate answer, your behavior needs to be focused on their answer. Do not be distracted, as in looking at your phone, or your watch, or looking around the room thinking that it needs to be clean. What they have to say is the most important thing to you. One answer may be that your child wants to spend more time with you. When a child says they want to spend more time with you, this means more quality time as in one-on-one time. Once your child is finishing answering the question, you'll want to ask, is there anything else you want or need from me? Your child might say, you don't show me you love me as much as my brother. You spend more time playing games with David on Sunday evenings than you do with me. You never ask me about my friends. The next step is saying I love you and apologizing for not doing these things. It's crucial that you validate your child's feelings, viewpoints, and point of view. As a parent you will want to confirm with your child that you understand what you heard from them and what they need and want from you. This is repairing conflict with empathy, creating emotional safety and, in turn, moving forward with a healthier relationship. You'll want to get a yes from your child before moving further with the conversation. Once you receive a yes, you'll want to address the teasing by stating, If I was your age and someone teased me, it would hurt my feelings. I know you wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Lastly, say how much you love them.