i miss tumblr, Feist, and free time. there’s too much visibility on my social media’s now. there’s not that one place to hide your identity in order to embrace your full identity. the beautiful culture is either gone or maybe i just left. i miss the epic re blogs that just got funnier and funnier, and dumb pictures of girls with tights on using their mac books. i miss long feminist rants that made me feel so angry, and validated, and informed in ten seconds. i miss longing for crushes that were sweeter than complicated romantic relationships. i miss romantizing adulthood. i miss before when i knew how to say the word pain as it exists in my life. i miss when i felt invincible from things like death, addiction, car accidents, homelessness, abuse. not all my experience but some are mine and some are my adjacent experience. i mean to say i look around and it isn’t rainbow balloons being released into a pure blue sky. i work hard to find smiles amongst us working so hard all the time. i used to sleep with a stuffed animal named Poop and suck my thumb. I had a cheap point and shoot I wanted to take tumblr photos with but the background was never blurry enough. I have a boyfriend to sleep with now but I wish she smiled more when she saw me and I have a nicer camera now but I am out of SD storage and college made so much feel like a chore. Especially after I realized normal life doesn’t feel like a manic episode. I was still on tumblr while I had this trash abusive friend. That was years ago and I’m back now because I’m lonely but don’t feel comfortable enough to ask for the help I need, knowing what is going on for folks in my life. Tumblr used to answer this question for me