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hello my loves!!! i hope you're doing well🫶🏻

just came by to let you know that i've been working on my shop these past couple of months!! its been a bit of a rollercoaster, there were many unexpected setbacks along the way so it's taken me a bit longer to get everything ready, and im sorry for the wait 🤧

but its almost time now!!! ill let you know the launch date rlly rlly soon 👀 ik its been a while but i hope you're still even just a little bit excited about the prints! im really happy with how they turned out and i hope you'll like them as much as i do (there'll be some special deluxe prints and some surprises for every order hehe) <333

SEE U SOON LOVE U MWAH💚🩷

hello my loves!!! i hope you're doing well🫶🏻

just came by to let you know that i've been working on my shop these past couple of months!! its been a bit of a rollercoaster, there were many unexpected setbacks along the way so it's taken me a bit longer to get everything ready, and im sorry for the wait 🤧

but its almost time now!!! ill let you know the launch date rlly rlly soon 👀 ik its been a while but i hope you're still even just a little bit excited about the prints! im really happy with how they turned out and i hope you'll like them as much as i do (there'll be some special deluxe prints and some surprises for every order hehe) <333

SEE U SOON LOVE U MWAH💚🩷

Crowley chooses the moment after Aziraphale gives him something that could effectively be a suic*de pill to ask him out. (More than a little bit manipulative of him, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that was unintentional.)

Aziraphale sees all the weight of the situation and responds with a reply that fully acknowledges “I know exactly what you meant by that coded invitation, and now you know I know that. I know you love me. I’m not saying no. I can’t explicitly say yes or you’ll die a horrific death and possibly I will too, but I’m saying something that it would take an extraordinary amount of creativity for you to interpret as anything other than ‘yes, but not yet’.” (Which, because Aziraphale is brilliant, could also be interpreted by Anyone Who Might Happen to Overhear, anyone who didn’t see the look on his face, as a criticism of Crowley’s driving.)

And then Crowley’s faintest-you-could-possibly-imagine, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it, hopeful fraction-of-a-smile in response.

I will go to my grave believing Aziraphale was saying “I know you’re hopelessly in love with me, and I know you’re depressed about it because you think I’ll never say it back. You matter to me so please don’t use this weapon I’ve given you on yourself. Please hold on for me because I love you too and I’m holding onto hope that someday we can be together without me having to risk losing you.* I love you too much to say I love you.”

"And I would like to spent the rest of my life with you."

If you skip the "I mean, the last few years not really" parenthesis, I believe his full confession/proposal was going to be:

"We're a team, a group. Group of the two of us. And we've spent our existence pretending that we arent. [...] And I would like to spend it not pretending anymore."

And that's because he had prepared his little speach before Aziraphale came back, he had rehearsed it in his mind, taking their togetherness for granted. They had always been together, they had already spent their lives together and they were surely going to spend them together anyway forever.

Being together was not the point, because not being together was simply unthinkable. The point was stop pretending and finally become "an us" - openly, honestly, fully. The possibility of being separated never crossed his mind, it would not make sense for him to ask Aziraphale to be together, it would imply the existence of a reality in which they are not.

So when he pushed through and decided to say what he was going to say, he got to that part and the realization started to creep in that he might actually have been too much of an optimist. The possibility of them not being together did exist, it was coming into existence in that very moment, in front of his eyes, making the "stop pretending" part suddenly incongruous. And all the rest of his speach fell apart.

Now the point was "are you going away?", "what about us if you go?", "what is happening?", "why is this happening?", "how can this be happening?". Now the important thing that needed to be said was "let's be together, if you don't feel like stop pretending because it's dangerous then we can run off somewhere, far from Heaven and Hell and their threats, but just please let's stick together."

That's, I think, why he chocked on his words.

so what does crowley do next?

he mentions gabriel and beelzebub. he says “look aziraphale, look, they’re more senior than you, and they did it.” he appeals to heaven’s moral framework. he says “we’re allowed. they’re allowed. it’s allowed.” why? because in that moment, when he realises the possibility that they won’t be together does actually exist, he knows it’s because aziraphale has not stepped away from heaven’s ideology. from their black and white rule system. so he changes tactic, and does what aziraphale tries to do when he panics. he tries to make them fit into the framework. his speech is suddenly not about being together without hiding anymore, it’s just about being together.

Global warming is wild isn't it? I mean? Warm and salty raindrops 24/7? specifically in Soho???