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luci (he/him) ‧₊˚🪲⊹ | 2003
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@nada0niente
introducing . . .
luci (he/him) ‧₊˚🪲⊹ | 2003
non binary ⋆ demi & bisexual
neurodivergent ⋆ brazilian ⋆ shifter

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hiii! I just wanted to ask about what to do if you’re struggling with disassociation and maladaptive daydreaming? Im going to use “I” because it’s the best way to put it in words, but I know that there is self, and that this is the ego and unreal circumstances talking. But I find that I cannot be a part of “reality”? Life is so bleak and uninteresting to me and I want to change, but I feel like I can’t. I decide something but it doesn’t appear. It’s sort of what fuels the daydreaming and disassociation because it’s sort of like my support? Idk what to do. I feel stuck and I’m spiraling if I’m delusional and if this is really the end of the road for me. Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks! :)
I understand what you mean, 'I'used to experience the same thing.
You're right in calling it a support, maladaptive daydreaming is often used as a coping mechanism, an escapism from circumstances. There's a bit to dissect here but, why do you feel you can't be part of 'reality'? Is it a separation, do you not identify with this body/if you were a different identity do you think you'd identify more?
A lot of the time, the combination of disassociation and MD comes from emptiness, a lack of things occurring makes you look for a different source and you disconnect from what's happening because nothing is there to pull you into it.
"I want to change, but I feel I cant" x "I decide something but it doesn't appear"
you already showed you know this isn't self but just thoughts, so you know its from identifying with this ego, but you and I both know I can't just tell you to drop it because I'm sure you've tried. What you need to do is to take it slow. The sentences I quoted show a fundamental doubt, you feel powerless even if you know you aren't.
There's two things I advise: Reminders. To stop identifying with this we need to slowly pull away from you seeing yourself as these thoughts. I know it may feel difficult at first, but when you are in that state or 'after' realising you were, remember that there is nothing but now and it isn't true lest you view it that way. You said you decide something but it doesn't appear, that because you're waiting for it to come to you through something outside of yourself, you still identify with this thought [ego] and so you think there is a here and there rather than only here.
This isn't of the road. When you have these thoughts, you need only ask who is thinking them. Then ask, are they you? Are they self? No, then let it go. Don't feel like you have to hold onto these identifiers, they aren't tied to you, you are free to be anything you want to be, but you must let go of defining yourself first so you can transform at will. There is nothing to doubt because it all comes from you, understand that, everything falls under self and therefore all is possible to 'change'. Whatever you perceive now is true, if you say so.
I believe this Kelly post might also help you
You as you Are have no history, you have no past and there will be no future
You as you Are , are the spontaneity of unrelated ‘experiences’
You as you Are cannot be touched by anything for You are the screen of the play called life, appearing separate but necessary for the expression of life.
You as you Are remain constant as the world seems to move not knowing there is no movement but solely what is Known.
You as you Are are the inconceivable THAT.
i get symptoms, hit hypnagogia, wait for shift to happen... BUT NOTHING HAPPENS
1- When your body goes numb and you start affirmations, doesn't a voice secretly whisper inside "omg, numbness has started… Ok, im doing affirmations now… am i shifting now? Will the lights flash? When will i transition?" That's exactly when the left brain (logic and analysis) kicks in. The moment you start controlling the process, analyzing "is it happening? is it working?", your brain receives the signal, "i must stay awake, we're performing a task!!!!" Therefore, you can neither enter the complete release phase necessary for shifting nore allow your brain to fall asleep. You remain locked in limbo.
2- If you repeat affirmations one after another automatically, like reciting a memorized lesson, your mind will eventually get bored but continue to stay awake. The important thing isn't to parrot the words, but to capture the feeling and energy those words create. Shifting is triggered not by the words themselves, but by the emotional state behind them. (thus not the intention but expectation)
3- When you reach the numbness stage, you might only focus on affirmations and remain focused on the physical world (that you're lying in this room, that your body is numb). The moment symptoms begin, you need to completely "forget" your body in this room. Your focus should not be on your numb body, but on your five senses in the place you want to go: where will you wake up there? What does the room smell like? What is the texture of the sheets? (i talked about this in various other posts)
4- If you experience this blockage while trying awake methods, switch to sleep methods. The goal shouldn't be to shift, but to start with the mindset of, "im going to do my affirmations and then completely fall asleep." When you set the intention to fall asleep and let your mind relax, the left brain lets go of its inhibitions, and the transition becomes much easier.
5- When the numbness comes say "ok everything's great so far, im leaving the rest to my mind," and slowly reduce the affirmations, focusing only on the feeling of where you want to go, that peace. The moment you catch yourself forcing things, take a deep breath and relax.
Remember, even catching that numbness is a huge achievement meditatively. You just need to loosen that desire to achieve and control a little. Go with the flow... lucid dreamers, you probably have a certain level of mental comfort now regarding LD. You think "since i can do it, i'll just go with the flow," you remove your left brain from the equation, and you instantly enter that phase. Our brain is a very protective organ, programmed for survival. It knows the limits of LD very well, that its safe, and that you'll eventually wake up in your own bed. That's why it allows you to go. However, since shifting is theoretically "going to a completely different reality, an entirely different place and body," no matter how much you want to, deep down in your subconscious, that primitive brain (amygdala) might be applying a slight defense. Especially if you have fears of great emptiness and loss of control (like megalophobia and thalassophobia) your brain might be keeping your left brain constantly awake to prevent you from taking that unknown final step in order to protect you. i yapped a lot anywayzz bye
https://www.tumblr.com/divatakesontruth/818204800321716224/hii-genuine-question-cause-im-a-bit-confused-if?source=share Totally agreed..but that's the loop I can't get out of. If we seek the direct experience - it perpetuates 'seeking', if we wait for direct experience-the waiting continues Being aware of awareness is the so called "direct experience" but when does it actually unveil reality? While abiding in awareness doesn't take effort, it does take intent to go back to 'self' in each experience. Idk if I am explaining my confusion correctly but I've been in this loop for over 2 years now. Please help for once & for all!!
Why would you need to seek direct experience? It’s here and it’s now that’s the whole point of it, I’m telling you to come back to what you have never left, you don’t ‘seek’ direct experience you just BE , that’s directly experiencing the now, here, the IS.
There’s s nothing to seek because seeking takes away the fact that you’re directly experiencing, you’re taking away direct experience and making it seeking which is a different experience
It doesnt take any effort, the effort is a different experience you’re supposed to go back the natural state you’re not doing anything unless you start to ideate that you’re doing something
You have to stop making it a task just relax and be as you are righy now, its the easiest thing in the world
Without taking any stories into account, stop taking effort, seeking, hard , difficult, confusing. Stop taking these narratives and relax in the nothing that is revealed
(I used text to speech cause I was in my car when I got this ask)

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"You will come to discover you do not want freedom from this shape alone, but from all shapes. You want to be free from consciousness altogether." - ADA, 4dbarbie.
"If there is one perspective you wish to adopt to aid you in seeing yourSELF as you are (awareness/presence/sense of beingness); it's to observe the comings and goings of everything (feelings/assumptions/thoughts) to confirm that you are not these things, rather than to 'have a big revelation.' You (SELF) are not waiting for anything; you already are. And you are watching this 'search' for SELF.
With this perspective, you'll be able to 'see' much more clearly and without the big emotions and narratives that makes you believe 'you' are trapped.
You'll come to realize that there's 'something' that never comes and goes. It's the 'thing' that watches everything come and go. You can't pin it down, you can't find it, you can only be it.
Stay with this."
No need to focus on analyzing why it feels like “me a body and the external” experientially—digging away at conceptually solving “separation.” There’s nothing to figure out here. It was never separate in the first place, so there is no answer to this misguided question. It seems like this because we’re cool af
See that “inside vs outside” is merely a slippery interpretation with no stability. See that even “experientially” there is nothing with staying power. You move around, perspectives of “spaces” constantly shift, the body and mind are a flurry of thought/sensations like a trillion lights going on and off infinitely. No solidity.
How could any of this be actual? How can we ever be certain of continuity when nothing is ever the same? In turn, where is the solid continuous person that could ever be certain of anything? It’s stunningly clear when you simply notice…nothing is ever continous or actually here in an ontological way…nothing is ever an actual “feature of reality”
Without interpretations, what remains? Something, ineffable. Our own conceptual mystery. The only “feature” of reality is being, no-thing, THAT
in dreams we seemingly speak, hear, touch, see even though nothing is actually happening. have whole conversations and experiences even though there's no "physical" body to do those things, no one actually there to do these actions, nothing there at all. all due to awareness. upon waking, that dream is regarded as illusionary no matter how real it may have felt, and treated as such no matter what the content of the dream was, yet don't do so with what's labeled the physical. even though it is one and the same, it is instead regarded with seriousness and reality. however, within these spaces, whether tumblr or elsewhere, once people find that this which is labeled reality is also nothing, also an illusion, a narrative, an appearance -- or whatever word other floats your boat -- that falls away and, sometimes for some, gives rise for something else to take root in its place.
i say all this to say that when people think as though upon 'realization' life becomes boring, you have to become a monk on a hill, or adopt a nihilistic point of view, while possibly understandable at first, it now gives me pause. no one in this space is telling you to do any of that, that's not the point. i even sometimes think that trying so hard to cease and "reject" these seeming things "because suddenly now it's not real" reinforces duality more often than not where there is not, reintroduces seriousness. it, like most other things, is simply not necessary. it's all just a play of awareness, it's all self, why go out of your way to seemingly reject it.
i like to think about it using this analogy. people who seemingly lucid dream take the dream as illusory and yet still seem to experience them the way they do anyway because they can, because it's fun, because they enjoy it. it doesn't have to be serious, it being an illusion doesn't negate that for them. it's the same for everything else. it's not boring, bleak or somber just because they're aware it's a dream, in contrast it's actually quite freeing. as i've seen often in some of ko's older posts that's stuck with me: "enjoy your dream now." it's all fine, do that if that's what you wish to do.
!!!
Shifting Advice of the Day:
You CAN romanticize any reality you’re shifting to. It’ll just bring us back to what most experienced shifters have said: That shifting is a personal experience. Everyone has the ability to shift.
YOU SHOULD NOT DEPEND ON OTHERS ADVICE 24/7 ON WHAT TO DO. SOMETIMES IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU “SHOULD” DO TO SHIFT. ⬇️⬇️⬇️
BUT what YOU COULD do to shift.
Keyword: YOU.
There’s no right or wrong way. The only wrong was other shifters claiming it HAD to be that way. As if you HAD to drink gallons of water or HAD to be asleep. Or HAD to be awake. Or HAD to use methods. You never HAD to do anything.
Had = Need. Don’t do that. 🚫
You don’t NEED to shift. You just do. By LOA. By assumption. Quick. Don’t trip. Run with me. Don’t walk. I said assumption not belief.
Just = being.
Being = existing.
Existing = awareness.
Awareness = self awareness and consciousness.
Shifting = moving it however you choose to.
Method, No Method, Subliminals, No subliminals, Awake, Asleep, Dancing, Napping, Eyes open, etc.
HOWEVER YOU WANT TO SHIFT. IS HOW YOU’LL SHIFT.
Treat shifting like something personal, not something you have to force or prove. Don’t obsess over symptoms or compare your journey to other people online because that usually just creates pressure.
The best thing you can do is relax into the fact you exist naturally in your DR. All these realities you already exist in.
You don’t need to shift or “try” to reach it. It’s already there. You’re already there.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS BECOMING CONSCIOUSLY AWARE OF IT THIS TIME.
Practice 🚫(DOES NOT EQUAL) Time.
Time doesn’t matter and that’s why most of y’all have trouble shifting.
“Oh it took them 5 years”, “Oh it took me 6 years” “I shifted first try” “I’ve been at this 8 years”…okay do y’all want a medal for doing the practice everyone can do or?…
SOME of y’all get so obsessed with “how long it takes” rather than just focusing on how long you’ve already been there. You don’t need to ask “oh does it take 3 hours, 3 minutes, 3 seconds” especially if you’re using LOA (Law of Assumption.)
Time places your awareness back on THIS reality. Ignore it. It doesn’t matter. Time itself changes. Why do you wanna focus and trust time? Fuck time. Please. STOP. DOING. THIS.
Trust YOURSELF MORE. Trust your visualizations, and stay consistent without making it your entire life.
Your mindset matters more than having the “perfect” method. Some nights will feel strong, some won’t, and that’s normal. Same goes for days.
And YES IT IS OKAY TO SWITCH IT UP YOU DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TO DO THE SAME ROUTINE TO SHIFT. IF YOU HAVE AND YOU “haven’t” SHIFTED WITH IT THAT’S OKAY.
You’re a day shifter? Great! Do nights!
You’re shift asleep? Amazing! Shift awake!
Your method got boring and you feel stagnant? That’s OKAY! Get creative make something new!
Stay patient with yourself and focus on enjoying the connection you have with your DR instead of chasing instant results. It’s not new.
Shifting isn’t new. It’s not a trend. It’s nothing new. The practice of shifting is making it consistently stable within your conscious.
Humans, US, have been forced into many branches and systems.
Make your conscious consistent into believing this one about shifting whatever it takes.
If you can believe in your ex you can believe in yourself and especially shifting as a shifter.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Have fun, Stay Safe, Stay Whimsy, Stay Creative, Go explore. Love you.
- Sakura’s Shifting Advice 🌸🤍
(It’s been a while since I posted one of these but to keep the page active why not?)

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for some, shedding the illusion in imagination step by step is necessary, however, I'd like to remind that you are not starting out as something and evolving to Self. You already are Self. There is no continuity. Anything you perceive as truth is only so because you continue to keep it alive. It only exists in this moment because you perceive it, you give it validity.
This identity, it is not you. You know this but I want you to understand that you were never it. You're not dropping it, you're not shedding it, not in actuality, because nothing is happening. Nothing can happen when there is only now.
How do you collapse the idea that imagination and reality are separate? Because even if I tell myself I know that, there are times where I daydream a lot while knowing that I'm imagining. Am I not contradicting myself?? I'm sorry if it's a stupid question
It collapses on its own when you remember that the foundation for it all is the same, so there never was any duality or difference; just a thought which said that there was. Notice how everything arises and dissolves in the same space, effortlessly. Notice how the knowing of every experience remains the same, the substratum is the same, and every difference falls away effortlessly.
There's a pointer I have mentioned a lot of times already, but how do you experience anything in the dream? Who is the one experiencing? How do you see, hear, touch, talk? See for yourself! Notice. The more you rest in and as awareness, the more obvious it becomes~
lowk how shifting feels 💔
Struggling to understand how you just shift your awareness?
Just seen this vid on tik tok and I love the sort of explanation they used.
Because it really is that simple.
All I ask you to do is to put your hand out in front of you. Put your focus onto it.
Then, I want you to move your focus over to what's behind your hand.
Bingo. You've already done it.
You've just shifted your awareness.
Shifting is the same concept. You are becoming aware of something that already exists. Even if it's not right in front if you that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Just right now, your focusing on here.
Focus on your dr just as you focused on the surrounds behind you're hand. It really is THAT simple.
This popped up on my fyp from ennyshifts on tik tok 😊 looks like she has a tumblr too and i'd def check it out she's very well spoken.
The more I think about all this the more meaningless it feels to me, like, what even is the point of anything at all? No purpose? No meaning? It's making me feel nihilistic like.....what even is anything
The realisation that's talked about on here is completely experiential, you cannot think your way to it. It HAS to be experienced. Thinking about it, making conclusions, getting tired, waiting for something to change, it is all very futile.
No purpose and no meaning simply means that it can have any point/any meaning you want it to have. Everything is FREE to be, free of any inherent meaning or purpose, so it can have any meaning. Think of it as a blank slate, you can use any colors to paint it and immediately experience it. It is very simple, you make it difficult for yourself.
You are the SOURCE, you are the KNOWING of every sensation/thought/feeling/meaning. Of course, everything that arises is spontaneous but YOU are what it arises from.
See it for yourself. Notice. Just be aware. Go back to zero, don't pile on more concepts.

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Everything is Knowing; the Self— A non dual perspective.
Before I begin, I heavily implore new readers and those who might come across this by chance to leave your preconceptions of what non duality is for the time in which you read this and keep the most open mind. Non duality is not a practice neither is it a law nor a religion, it is nothing new— in fact it is so ancient to our infinite Being that we willingly chose to forget the truth of Reality. Whether you choose to believe it or not, Everything is non-dual.
🩷
If you closely examine into your current experience, the one you have and observe right now of what is going on and who you are, you would notice something immediately; that the very core of your unique experience has a quality so normally foregone and that is the Knowing. Knowing is the very thing that allows for ‘something’ to even be ‘something’.
This knowing is precedent to all the seeming things of life, it is within your knowing that you can touch the ‘stuff’ of experience. Consciousness is contained within Knowing, Reality is contained within Knowing, Shifting is contained within Knowing, The laws of manifestation are contained within Knowing. The very fact that a circumstance, phenomenon or object can be qualified as something reveals that there is the Knowing and something Knowing of it as such.
Not only is Knowing prior to, it is that which existence itself relies on; meaning if there was no Knowing of xyz then can you have an experience or can you even fathom xyz? This alone proves that Awareness/Knowing is not just the mere quality to be aware or know but something transcendental altogether.
Notice now, the infinite inconceivable quality of Knowing and the inability to know anything other than Knowing. The more you try to arrive at something other than what is known— you arrive at something else that is also Known. Experience itself is contained within Knowing, within Self.
The reason Knowing is Self is because the fact previously established that every apparent thing/ existence is dependent upon Knowing and hence the reason for its apparent existence shows how even to try and qualify or define Knowing as Knowing would also be Known and hence the reason for its apparent existence
What am I trying to say? I'm trying to demonstrate how Knowing is the ultimate factor onto which anything can exist. We've already previously established how everything has the quality of Knowing, everything is contained within the Knowing. So that means that for anything to even be, it would have to be known, and that means that we cannot directly confirm that what we know is the actual truth, because if anything can be within Knowing and hence ‘true’ then that means there is no concrete Reality/ Existence.
This is not even philosophy, this is just something you can notice right now. Are you able to have an experience separate from the Knowing of that experience? Are you able to conceptualize a phenomenon without the Knowing of said phenomenon? The answer is a plain and simple no.
So if even Knowing is Known then what is thing through which all appears to exist? To clearly pinpoint it as something such as the universe or god would be to Know of such a conclusion but we are not looking for a conclusion we are looking for what Knows. What Knows cannot be an object of Knowing so any sort of clear label arrived at would be inaccurate but you know one thing that cannot be overlooked? Is that in the center of Knowing is You.
Not you the person, remember anything that can be pinpointed is no longer Reality but rather an instant result of Knowing, but rather You here is what you remain as when all the stories and labels fall away, pure Being is You— pure Being is the Knowing, the Self, the Awareness.
Do you understand truly what this means my loves? That absolutely nothing is Real now, but that does not in anyway take away the apparent existence of everything. So long as Knowing is, everything will appear to be. That is why there is absolutely no 3d or physical reality, I’m not being metaphorical or poetic. I mean right now the world around is Knowing apparently divided into different things and conclusions.
That is why when people ask me “how do I change my reality” “how do I shift” I do not give a direct answer because the only difference between success and failure is the Knowing. If you Know right now of beauty and love — then that is indeed what the apparent reality IS. Not will be, IS.
You do not need to assume shit, assuming implies continuity, a future, a change. What I’m talking about is as direct as simply looking in a mirror and seeing a reflection, what is Known IS what IS.
The same way in which the story of who ‘you’ are right now and as unsatisfactory is Known, is the same way you can Know a seemingly different or better story. NOW
Read that again
There is no process, there is only Knowing; The Self.
Non duality bridges the gaps between ourselves and the world showcasing how everything is but an object in Awareness, what is done upon this Realization should not and cannot be policed, we aren’t monks abstaining from pleasure, we are seekers looking to transcend the illusions of suffering.
Friendly reminder: You are not what you experience neither are you the “one” who experiences. You are forever only the knower/Awareness, the space onto which all this seems to take place.
All you can ever ‘do’ is ‘know’ , ‘witness’ , you could never make any actions, because actions do not exist— only stories and ideas.