nabla.vii

Potential-Steps V(r)

Gotta admit, this was one of the most depressing weeks of my life lmao. I need around 7 points in that theoretical mechanics exam to pass the subject, I'm dropping numerical methods (even though I love it), I gotta finish my QM graphics before Monday, tomorrow I have two social events (family and that stuff), I would love to do gymnastics tomorrow but man, am tired af. I really hope I can see some light at the end of the semester.

And well... On the other hand. I had a little discussion/talk with an old teacher who taught me Calc-III. He's one of my favorite teachers in the academy. I told him about my decision on changing my field into a math major. He just asked me a simple thing that broke my reasoning a lil' :

"Do you really want to be a mathematician or you just wanna be a good physicist?"

And that's true. I mean, I want to do mathematical physics but not because I want to derive pure math results, it is just bc I want to clarify the maths, I want to understand the ideas behind the physical structures. I don't want to solve numerical and senseless theorems (not because they're useless or stupid per se, because mathematics is an art branch that doesn't really need a practical or mechanical ending). I want to formalize physics and improve the physical tools in multiple branches (particularly QM, relativity relations and Thermodynamics lol) but well... I'll try a math major, bc of my physical goal.

Y es que creo que entendí de una manera no tan grata, no tan natural quizás.

Entendí que no soy parte de ese gremio, que no me encuentro luz en el fin y que no me da esa calma ver en qué desemboca mi ciencia.

A menudo encuentro que a la hora de aprender, es necesario ver "para qué" estás desarrollando una nueva habilidad, en qué se puede usar o si genera un bien al mundo. Los días pasan, estudio y entiendo que por eso no me siento cómodo con la física. La gente espera algo allá afuera de lo que estás haciendo, como si así funcionara genuinamente el progreso. Bajo el criterio opuesto, veo ya por qué los matemáticos se sienten tan cómodos con lo que hacen. Quizás han vivido vidas difíciles y el historial de matemáticos ha tenido finales no tan gratos, pero es que si a la mayoría les preguntasen ¿Por qué hacen lo que hacen? Un gran número (si no es que todos), dirán que es por placer. Y es que es evidente que cuando se vive haciendo lo que uno ama, el final a veces es lo más irrelevante.

No me siento cómodo viendo en dónde van a terminar mis resultados, me disgusta la astronomía, el área de materiales, fluidos, los superconductores y a su vez, me causa tanto placer leer las palabras "grupo", "variedad", "morfismo".

Depression n' obsession.

I love what I do for living, but not gonna lie. Sometimes being a mathematical-physicist it's kinda depressing. You study the most part of the time, you fail some exams, you keep studying and then you realize you're into an SU(n) so you can't escape lmao.

Anyways. I love quantum mechanics, numerical methods but I fckn' hate theoretical mechanics bc of newton's formulations. I got an 8 (I think it's like B+ out there) in Lagrange equations this week.

Once I finish this degree, gotta forget about physics and get a math major. You really don't know how beautiful maths are beyond physics derivations. I do really love working with groups, symmetries, categories, manifolds and all that kinky stuff.

Yeh, I know. Some people might ask: why didn't you study maths?

Well, I came here bc I thought physics was beautiful and had a lot of interesting math. I would never have imagined that physical "assumptions" were so ridiculous when solving problems.

- noidVoid -

Man, this week was kinda weird. I got a 0 in theoretical mechanics (f u Newton), I took some really interesting classes on quantum computing, cosmology, math-phys and I really enjoyed QM classes. I feel kinda lost, I was alone this week but this time... I couldn't find myself. Usually I get up and take responsibility for my decisions, now I feel tired and kinda depressed bc of some consequences... Idk. I came back to my road but feeling a lil empty, damaged.

Pd. I really enjoyed the Klein-Gordon equation derivation (and it is not part of my current classes lmao).

~ what a tough week.

GEOMETRY IN QUANTUM MECHANICS

Man, what a week. After I had a reunion with ma bae, I got sick, I finished my numerical methods hw, I did some theoretical mechanics exercises and took a QM class, THEN I assisted to the Geometry in Quantum Mechanics Advanced School. I understood some complicated concepts I was not used to like entanglement, Hilbert projective space, group representation and a MASSIVE etcetera. Furthermore, I found a new branch that made me smile for several minutes and gonna change my thesis topic once again hehe. I mean, I don't want to be the confused kiddo who's not able to make a decision, but I want to be sure that my topic is gonna make me feel comfortable every time I have to study something related to it.

I won't say either which is it, but I'll show some stuff at the end of the semester. Dude, am very excited about some decisions I made this week.

I B M ~

Inter - pretation

Well, numerical methods exam, continuum qm and more theoretical physics this week. Math and physical interpretation is getting a little tough these days.

Anyways, I keep smiling every time I see phys-math connections in my lectures.

So, this is the hard math.

I mean. After taking 4 calculus, some complex variable and linear algebra; in the nuclear engineering branch I had to take 2 math tools (numerical methods and probability), I took probability in the previous course , so am taking numerical methods. It is not my favorite one, but I consider the subject "interesting". Also I decided to add theoretical physics I and quantum mechanics I. I'll catch you up about my progress. See ya soon, buddies.

Pd. Gotta be honest, I'd prefer differential geometry, modern algebra or analysis, but they're not available in my nuclear branch; I'll have to give them a chance as a listener.