Natural 1

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this is something that I wish people would take more seriously. I am a woman who loves women and no one else. that's my sexual orientation. I didn't pick it, it's just who I am.

there's currently no single word I can use to communicate that. when I say I'm lesbian, queer people consistently assume that I mean it in the most expansive way possible.

and no one wants to say it, but the reality of what's happening when people make those assumptions is that they hear the word "lesbian" and replace it with the word "bisexual." they think I'm attracted to all genders, even men, as long as they're the good kind (AFAB).

the problem with this, which should be obvious, is the misogyny. people don't want to accept that a woman could ever be satisfied by only loving other women. they have to squeeze other genders in there to make it make sense to them. and they have to push the limits of lesbianism to include people who are more and more in proximity to manhood until it's assumed as a matter of cour that lesbians are all attracted to men.

we're already very far down that road. I can't call myself a lesbian without having people make all kinds of wild and wrong assumptions about who I am and who I'm open to dating (which leads to sexual harassment and feeds into all other kinds of misogyny that women face from the rest of the queer community).

I don't know whether the right way to reduce the harm here is to push back on the idea that men can be lesbians, or to come up with a new word that specifically means women who love women, or both. If there's a new word then it'll be corrupted sooner or later. That's already happened with sapphic, and, incredibly, "WLW".

all the words we have to describe 'sexual orientation' are descended from the diagnostic categories that a heterosexual and cisgender society used to define us as ill. those terms were then changed over time and redefined to become the vague boundaries of rights based social movements as we ourselves, the queer people who were categorized under them, engaged in social struggle. part of this redefinition was the idea that identity labels *do* have strict definitions and categorize people distinctly, but for the purpose of communicating our true and beautiful inner selves (which are of course completely categorizable) and sorting us into groups only with those who completely share the key traits that define our identities: some people were just born this way as women who only love women (itself a socially defined category...) and they must be categorized strictly in order to ensure that nothing and no-one gets mixed in somewhere where its not supposed to be (impositions which words and categories can surely protect us from). this was strategically crucial to the hugely important victories won by lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender rights movements under the traditional social organization we live under, but it is not a truthful or liberating model; it is a model built for compromise with a tyrannical, puritan society which in this case especially operates through the institutions of psychology and state power.

i don't think that model is what anyone needs. the words we use don't just exist as language for communication, they make possible understandings of what is and what can be. a diagnostic category makes a group of people real, and by grouping ourselves in these categories we restrict our agency in order to prioritize the agency of a system of categorization: a system of categorization which, as you've noted, is always malleable to the will of the powerful. in our gendered social hierarchy that means that men have an outsized influence on the definitions of identity categories: again, categories which not only are defined, but also define us in response. categories that we must actually live within.

According to the CDC, in 10 percent of those drownings, the adult will actually watch the child do it, having no idea it is happening. Drowning does not look like drowning—Dr. Pia, in an article in the Coast Guard’s On Scene magazine, described the Instinctive Drowning Response like this:

“Except in rare circumstances, drowning people are physiologically unable to call out for help. The respiratory system was designed for breathing. Speech is the secondary or overlaid function. Breathing must be fulfilled before speech occurs.

Drowning people’s mouths alternately sink below and reappear above the surface of the water. The mouths of drowning people are not above the surface of the water long enough for them to exhale, inhale, and call out for help. When the drowning people’s mouths are above the surface, they exhale and inhale quickly as their mouths start to sink below the surface of the water.

Drowning people cannot wave for help. Nature instinctively forces them to extend their arms laterally and press down on the water’s surface. Pressing down on the surface of the water permits drowning people to leverage their bodies so they can lift their mouths out of the water to breathe.

Throughout the Instinctive Drowning Response, drowning people cannot voluntarily control their arm movements. Physiologically, drowning people who are struggling on the surface of the water cannot stop drowning and perform voluntary movements such as waving for help, moving toward a rescuer, or reaching out for a piece of rescue equipment.

From beginning to end of the Instinctive Drowning Response people’s bodies remain upright in the water, with no evidence of a supporting kick. Unless rescued by a trained lifeguard, these drowning people can only struggle on the surface of the water from 20 to 60 seconds before submersion occurs.”

This doesn’t mean that a person that is yelling for help and thrashing isn’t in real trouble—they are experiencing aquatic distress. Not always present before the Instinctive Drowning Response, aquatic distress doesn’t last long—but unlike true drowning, these victims can still assist in their own rescue. They can grab lifelines, throw rings, etc.

Look for these other signs of drowning when persons are in the water:

Head low in the water, mouth at water level

Head tilted back with mouth open

Eyes glassy and empty, unable to focus

Eyes closed

Hair over forehead or eyes

Not using legs—vertical

Hyperventilating or gasping

Trying to swim in a particular direction but not making headway

Trying to roll over on the back

Appear to be climbing an invisible ladder

So if a crew member falls overboard and everything looks OK—don’t be too sure. Sometimes the most common indication that someone is drowning is that they don’t look like they’re drowning. They may just look like they are treading water and looking up at the deck. One way to be sure? Ask them, “Are you all right?” If they can answer at all—they probably are. If they return a blank stare, you may have less than 30 seconds to get to them. And parents—children playing in the water make noise. When they get quiet, you get to them and find out why.

Source/article: [x]

I’ve been a lifeguard for 6 years now and of all the saves I’ve done, maybe two or three had people drowning in the stereotypical thrashing style. And even those, like the save I made last weekend, it was exactly like OP describes where the person’s head is going in and out of the water but it isn’t long enough to get any air. Mostly you recognize drowning by the look on someone’s face. If someone looks wide eyed and terrified or confused, chances are they’re drowning. That look of “oh shit” is pretty easily recognizable. And even if you can’t tell for sure: GO AFTER THEM ANYWAY. I’ve done “saves” where a kid was pretending to drown and I mistook it for real drowning, but that’s preferable to a kid ACTUALLY drowning.

Also please remember that even strong swimmers can drown if they have a medical emergency, get cramps, or get too tired. If your friend knows how to swim but they’re acting funny get them to land. And even if someone can respond when you ask them if they need help, if they say they do need help? GO HELP THEM.

However . If the victim is a stranger, I can’t recommend trying to get them. Lifeguards literally train to escape “attacks,” because people who are drowning can freak the fuck out and grab you and make YOU drown as well. If you do go in after someone, take hold of them from the back and talk to them the whole time. IF YOU ARE GRABBED: duck down into the water as low as you can get. The person is panicking and won’t want to go under water and should release you. Shove up at their hands and push them away from you as you duck under. Don’t die trying to save someone else.

When the lifeguard got us both out, a woman came running down and accused me of harming him and said he had been completely fine in the water. That there was no reason to drag him out of there. The lifeguard had to explain to her that her son had been drowning, to which her response was to say that she didn’t hear him call for help.