just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

the best fruits are hardest to open

this fucking bowling ball is gonna be delicious i know it

when i was a kid i found a pen that had a woman on it that if you turned it upside down her clothes would come off. i hid it in my room and in brave moments i would flip it over and over and over. one day i got so ashamed that i brought it to a field and buried it

Where is it buried

[ID: Gauche painting of a vibrant orange-red tiger creature against dark foliage, gazing behind itself to meet the viewer. Its stripes are tinted green, with an extra set of legs; it curves around a small, bright red star. End ID.]