🪷Sweets🪷

Tags ⋆˚꩜｡: Integra Hellsing x fem!reader, sfw, mild swearing, late teens early twenties reader, smoking, drinking

⋆˚࿔ authors first time writing, so beware... prolly will be a multi part fic! prolly ooc but whatev⋆˚࿔

wc: 3.3k ⊹ ࣪ ˖

Part 1 here // Part 2

Hearing their conversation had you stirring in your bed. 'Seras was so kind to me, why would I want to kill her even if she was not human?' Their conversation caused you to think about you first conversation with Sir Integra.

She was checking the nape of your neck for something, but your were not sure what. You stripped off the dress that Seras had provided you with, and walked towards the mirror. You moved your hair out of the way, and turned around. On the base of your neck you saw a black sun-like symbol (𖤓) that was about the size of a cotton ball. 'Odd, I don't remember getting a tattoo.' Your fingers ghosted over the marking while you pondered over what Integra and Seras were talking about. 'What did they mean when they said I had been awoken?'

You looked at the clock quietly ticking away in the corner. It read 6 pm, you realized that you had still not eaten, but for some reason you did not feel hungry at all. You slowly put your uniform back on, taking your time with rethreading each button.

You for some reason felt the urge to leave the manor and wander outside. You stepped out of your room and kept walking down the now darkening corridors. The light that filtered through the windows was now a subtle orange hue. As you were reaching out to open the door you heard a voice call out to you.

"y/n"

The voice was cold and had a hint of sadness seeping into it. Integra.

You turned around to look up at the top of the staircase where she was standing.

"Yes... Sir Integra."

For some reason addressing her so formally was beginning to feel abnormal and damn near painful. The glare of her glasses made it so that you could not see her eyes, and the red tie around her neck had loosened.

"Where are you going?"

You honestly didn't have the slightest idea, but your body was just telling you that you had to be out there.

"Outside sir... i'm not exactly sure where though."

"Come here."

You turned your head and looked at the door before walking up the grand staircase. Once you reached the top you stopped and waited for what she would say next. She took a step closer to you and took your hand in hers. The rough skin of your callouses caught the fibers of her gloves, and you could smell the tobacco on her.

"Do you feel pulled towards the night?"

Your gaze shot up to meet hers.

"Yes, it's exactly that."

"I thought so..." She said, grasping your hand tighter.

"Lets go then."

She stepped past you while still holding your hand tightly in hers. She walked in front of you all the way down the stairs all the while still holding your hand. Your thoughts were plagued by the sensation of her holding your hand.

She opened one of the large doors, holding it so that you could step through first. When you felt the fresh air sink into your lungs, the sun was almost fully below the horizon. The bright colors of the sky were fading and it was starting to blacken.

The two of you began wandering the large fields that were on the Hellsing estate.

"I assume that you know that something has changed in you?"

"Yes I have."

Your mind traveled back to your earlier encounter with Seras, and how you so badly wanted to kill her. You thought about how Integra said you had awoken.

She must have noticed the look on your face when you were lost in thought.

"Do not fear yourself."

She said nothing for a moment.

"You must learn to control it."

You looked beyond the vast fields of the Hellsing estate, and you realized that you could see much farther than the average 5 kilometers, was it double that, or maybe triple?

Integra watched as you analyzed the horizon.

"So everything really has come back now has it?"

"What do you mean."

"Your senses are amplified, sight of a hawk, hearing of a bat, and so on."

Now you were throughly confused. 'Am I even human?' It really seemed like you had trouble hiding your facial expressions because Integra took one look at you are started laughing.

"So I am supposed to be able to see all the way into the forest from here?"

"Yes, thats correct."

"I assume this has something to do with me being a hunter?"

She nodded her head in response while pulling a cigar out of her jacket. You noticed that she had a small pack of Lucky strike Cigarettes. 'Odd I thought sir Integra only smoked cigars...' Unbeknownst to you she was holding her jacket open just so you could see them. She watched as your eyes circled the small red logo on the box as she pulled out her lighter.

"Care for a cigarette? I was saving them for you..."

Her words snapped you out of your thoughts. 'For me?' 'She was saving those cigarettes for me?' 'One wouldn't hurt, might help clear my mind.'

"Sure." You said while taking one from the box she was holding out to you. When you put it in your mouth you were about to ask for a light, when she took a step closer to you.

She held your face in one hand and steadied her cigar with the other. She leaned in close as the end of her cigar touched the tip of your cigarette. You leaned back slightly to look her into her eyes. Her gaze was steeled and it did not move from yours. You broke the eye contact to take a long drag of your cigarette, using your 2 fingers to hold it as you blew out all the smoke in your lungs. Integra did the same. The smoke created mesmerizing spirals as the wind whisked it away. The both of you stared into the ever darkening sky and smoked until your cigarette and her cigar were nothing but tiny stumps.

She was the first to break the silence.

"Do you still like those cigarettes, they were your favorites."

"I guess they are pretty good." You said

"Was I a good hunter, Sir Integra?"

She paused for a moment befroe answering.

"You were phenomenal."

"There wasn't a vampire that could get past you until you met Alucard."

"Alucard?"

"Another vampire that was under my command."

For some reason she looked sad as she spoke about him.

"Was? Did he leave the Hellsing organization?"

"No, he will be back eventually..."

"I see."

"Did I work for you, Sir Integra?"

"No, you served your own family."

"Where are they now?"

"Gone."

You didn't know how to feel. You didn't remember them, but you still felt a sense of loss. 'I wonder what my parents were like.'

"So, being a hunter was a family thing then? Did they all have these odd abilities."

"Yes, but it is not genetic. You were fed the blood of vampires as a new born to get them."

You scowled at those words. 'Thats grotesque.'

"Most people outside your family, including the Hellsings, believed it to be and outdated and damn near inhumane practice, but your family was a persistant one."

You had so many more questions for Sir Integra, but you were not sure if you wanted to know the answers after hearing that. The sun had fully set, and now the only light came from the stars.

"Will I ever be able to remember, Sir Integra?"

"I hope you will..."

She said, as she gazed at the constellations. Something about the way she said that lit a fire in your heart. 'I must remember, I will do everything I can.'

She took your hand once again, something about holding her hand gave rest to your soul. It was such a tranquil feeling. She pressed your hand over her heart, and looked you in the eyes.

"I swear to you that I will do everything in my power to give you your memories back."

You could feel the even beat of her heart under your palm. It made you feel secure in a way that you don't think you had before.

The moment was swiftly ruined by the hairs on the back of your neck standing up and the subtle scent of blood filling your nostrils. It was the same as what you smelled on Seras. You turned your head towards the scent, it was coming from the woods.

"Sir Integra, I think there are..."

"Vampires."

"Those vile creatures, making a move only days after the attack..." She murmured.

You had no weapon, your only means of protecting Sir Integra was your bear hands. 'Can I really do this?'

You felt a strong hand on your shoulder.

"Do you wish to destroy them?"

"Yes."

She pulled a Hand gun out from her jacket then wrapped and arm around you to press the weapon into your hand.

"Then take the shot."

You squeezed your fist around the metal. Your mind was, once again, flooded with the primal instinct to kill, and your breathing slowed. You turned to face Integra, looking her dead in the eyes.

"Yes, Sir."

Then your eyes shifted back to the forest. You intensified your gaze, you focused and calmed your nerves. You could see the targets, 2 large males attempting to feed on a young woman. You steadied your hand and took your shot, hitting one of them square in the head. 'No room for recovery, one down one to go.'

Just as you shifted your aim to end the second one, another bullet zipped straight past you, instantly killing the second target.

Your head snapped back searching for where the second bullet might have come from. Your eyes landed upon Seres, who was shrouded in shadows, and holding her own gun.

"Master, you didn't tell me she was this good!!" she said while bounding toward the two of you.

For some reason you no longer registered her as a threat, and you allowed yourself to return to your normal state.

"Well, she is a hunter." Integra stated while turning back towards the estate.

"Shall we return, master?" Seras asked.

You noticed how dark it really was outside, and when Integra turned to you to ask if you wanted to return, you simply nodded your head.

When the three of you reached the estate, Seras went ahead while you and Integra stood still for a moment.

She stepped directly in front of you.

"You did well today."

You took a moment to process what she had just told you. 'She thinks I did well...' 'She is praising me.' 'Am I really worthy of these words.'

She took a step closer to you and pressed you into her chest.

"You being able to do that fills me with hope."

She took a step back, while still holding your hand.

"Thank you, for reminding me to have hope."

She placed a short kiss on your knuckles and turned to return to her quarters.

You stood still. You thought about how her lips felt against your knuckles. They were warm and smooth, and they made you feel like you were flying.

You continued to think about her until you finally reached your room. She continued to plague your mind as you slipped into the bathroom and took your uniform off. She lingered in your mind as you washed your body. The image of her tall body and beautiful face stayed in your head as you dried yourself off.

You found yourself lying in your bed, lost in thought about everything that had happened. Taking down that vampire felt so natural, it felt like you were doing what you were made to do. You didn't feel any pride in protecting that woman, all you felt was adrenaline. 'Does that make me a bad person?' Of course you cared about the life an innocent person, but you felt like you were still riding the high of that kill.

Killing that vampire showed you what your purpose was. You didn't feel like the same girl that Seras discovered on the street only a few days prior. That girl didn't know who she was and she had no aim, but now, you were beginning to discover yourself again. More importantly, you had found your purpose, killing vampires that posed a threat to humanity.

You realized that being a part of the Hellsing organization was the best thing that could have happened to you, and with that you surrendered yourself to sleep.

You opened your eyes in the middle of the night to the distant sound of walking on the upper levels of the estate.

Your room was dark, you had put out the light before going to sleep. You swung your feet over the edge of the bed, and sat still. 'Is it sir Integra?' You didn't smell anything metallic, so it couldn't be a vampire. You dragged your tired body to the main floor, because sir Integra had to have a reason for being awake at 3:47 am. Right?

Then you smelt the tobacco. You knew that she liked to smoke, but why would she be smoking at this hour. The smell of the tobacco was distant, but it made you crave a cigarette and the feeling of being beside her.

You walked up the grand staircase. You placed each foot intentionally, with hopes that you would not disturb her. You walked until you saw her bedroom door slightly ajar at the end of the hallway. Her back was facing you and she was leaning over her balcony.

She wore a white silk cami and pants. The fabric was tousled by the wind, and her hair was not the proper and kept version you saw during the day. The fabric of her clothes clung to her body, you could see what was constantly covered by the layered suits she wore all day.

Integra was in between being relaxed and tense. She looked like she was lost in thought about something. She was not smoking her usual oversized cigar, but instead one of the Lucky Strike cigarettes she offered you earlier. She took a deep breath in as she held the cigarette between her lips. The smoke that she exhaled swirled and spiraled around her before eventually disappearing.

The moon illuminated half of her body making her look like a spirit.

"I know you are there."

The sudden acknowledgement made your heart skip a beat.

"My apologize Sir, I heard something and I thought I should check."

You were still drowsy, so your words didn't come out as clear as you had hoped.

"Come here."

You stepped towards the balcony. 'Am I in trouble?'

As you stepped closer, you realized that she was not wearing her glasses. You had never seen her without her glasses before, but now you would never forget the sight.

Eventually you were standing directly next to her on the balcony (Which was much more cramped than you thought). Your shoulders grazed each others every time one of you moved. Each touch sent a jolt through you body, clearing any tiredness with ease.

She did not say anything to you.

"Is everything alright Sir Integra?'

She turned around so that her back rested against the railing as she craned her neck to gaze at the stars. The cigarette was now forgotten, and the ash was falling to the floor.

"Difficult question."

"I see."

Something was bothering her, but you could not tell what. She raised the cigarette towards you and motioned for you to take it. You pinched it between your thumb and index finger and brought it to your lips. You inhaled the sweet smoke and watched embers burn the cigarette away as you did so.

The wind made your clothes hug your body as you puffed out the grey smoke. It caused you to shiver, and a chill to run up your spine. Your shirt wasn't particularly thick, nor were your shorts. The cotton didn't do much to keep you warm.

"Are you cold?"

"No Sir, I'm fine."

You said while obviously trying to rub the goosebumps off your arms. She smirked at that.

"Lets go inside then."

You followed her back into her bedroom. You did not notice it before, but her bed was huge, surly enough for two or three people.

"Do you remember this room?"

You didn't know what to say to that. 'Oh god I must have been here before.' Integra's face fell as she looked to the floor.

"I'm sorry..."

You felt so bad disappointing her.

"No matter, you will get to know it again eventually."

You smiled at that. 'What was my relationship to Sir Integra?' You didn't know for certain, but there were ideas swimming in your mind. She sat down on a leather sofa, back facing you. You felt her eyes lazily fall upon you as she beckoned you closer with a hand.

You sat next to her, the leather squeaking as you sat down. In a swift motion she grabbed both of your legs and swung them over her lap. You felt your face heating up. 'Holy shit she is holding my legs in her lap.' She watched as the gears shifted in your mind. She ran her hands along your bare calfs. They were cold on your heated skin.

"Do you drink?"

"Ah- I think so."

You didn't really know the answer to her question, but you didn't want to say no. She picked up a crystal bottle with a copper liquid inside as well as a glass. You watched her hands as she poured 2 glasses of the liquor, and handed one to you. You held the glass in one hand, and swirled the liquid ever so slightly. You took a sip. It was bitter on your tongue and burned going down your throat.

Your eyes landed on Integra. One hand rubbing circles on your calf, the other holding the glass to her mouth as she took sip after sip. She set the glass down on the coffee table as you took another sip.

"I missed this..." She said

"Missed what?"

"Being with you."

You finished off your drink, and realized that there was a part of you yearning for her as well. A part of you that you didn't remember, but could feel so clearly. A part of you that you that was waiting to be by her side again.

She poured you both another drink. This time you were the one who finished it first, while she was slowly sipping. You were beginning to feel that familiar yet unfamiliar fuzziness and warmth in your body. Her hand was now resting atop you knee. She continued to sip her drink, while you held your empty glass in a lazy hand. As she threw back the last drops of her drink she held a hand out, silently offering to refill your glass. You shook your head.

"Still can hardly handle your liquor, some things never change."

She smiled as she stared at the ceiling. You heard the low thump of her glass being set back onto the table. She took your glass and set it down as well.

She took a deep breath before hooking one hand under your knees and the other behind you back. She stood slowly while holding you to her chest. For some reason you were oh so calm about this... maybe it was the alcohol. You looked up at her face, some how it had gotten more beautiful.

She set you on her bed with utmost care, settling next to you soon after. She slung a hand over your waist and you pressed your head into her chest. This felt so natural to you. You felt so warm in her arms that you almost didn't need the blanket that was over the both of you. You were calm, and so was she.

"Sleep well." She said.

Your eyelids began to droop and you were once again taken by sleep, but this time it was much less lonely.

Tags ⋆˚꩜｡: Integra Hellsing x fem!reader, sfw, mild swearing, late teens early twenties reader

⋆˚࿔ authors first time writing, so beware... prolly will be a multi part fic! prolly ooc but whatev⋆˚࿔

wc: 4k ⊹ ࣪ ˖

Part 1

For the last 2 years of your life you had lived on the streets of London, hopping between hostels and friends sofas trying to find stability when Seras Victoria stumbled upon you. After the attack of the last battalion, you thought that your life could not get any worse. The city that was once your home was left in ruin, and to top it all off you had no place to sleep that night. A few days had passed since the attack and you were walking what was left of the streets of London when a woman around your height crossed your path. Her spikey strawberry blonde ponytail and army green uniform stood out to you in the grey rubble that surrounded.

You stopped for a moment to take a look at her, and she stopped as well.

"Are you alright? Is there something here you are looking for?" she asked.

She stared at you as if confused by your presence.

"No. Im not really sure what i'm doing..."

In truth you didn't have any idea where you were walking or why your were walking at all, you just did not want to be still.

She cocked her head at you and offered a small smile, as if you were a small child in need of consoling.

"Are you hurt?"

"no."

Your eyes were fixed on the broken ground. 'Was she a part of a military aid group?' 'Could she give me a place to sleep?' your mind raced with thoughts.

She eyed your build. Your years on the street doing manual labor for scraps landed you with somewhat muscular arms and legs.

"Do you have anywhere to go miss?"

"No not really."

She stepped closer and looked you in the eyes.

"If you are willing to help look for survivors I can give you a place to stay and maybe a job."

You took a moment to consider her offer. She seemed like a nice young woman and you didn't pin her to be the kidnapper type. You eventually realized that even if she was you had nothing to lose.

"Sure." you replied

A few hours passed, lifting large rocks to free trapped civilians, and directing them to relief camps took up the majority of the time. After you had search what felt like all of London three fold she began walking towards the outskirts of the city. You walked for some time before a large house emerged on the horizon. You did not speak with the girl very much but she seemed to be around your age and had incredible strength. She mentioned earlier that her name was Seras Victoria.

As you walked your hair swayed behind you and you could feel the sweat in your scalp as well as how it made your clothes stick to your skin. You were uncomfortable to say the least but you kept walking by Seras's side until you reached a pair of damaged gates. She ushered you through them and led you to the front doors of the house where she stopped.

"I should probably inform you that my boss may be rather unhappy not because your presence, but she is under quite a bit of stress, so please don't be offended."

You simply nodded your head in response and followed her through the gigantic doors.

When you entered you eyes landed upon a tall woman standing on the stairs leaning against the railing with a fat cigar in her mouth. She must be the boss that Seras mentioned. She was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen. She had bags under her eyes and long ash blonde hair, she wore a tailored suit and glasses that emphasized her blue eyes, and her tan skin almost glowed in the moonlight.

Seras bounded towards the woman and seemed to explain your situation to her, though you did not pick up on what was actually said.

The tall woman's eyes landed upon you and she sceptically looked you up and down. Your eyes did not meet hers but instead stayed glued to the floor. Before you knew it Seras was walking back towards you.

"Come now I will show you to your room."

You nodded your head. Before following you looked up at the woman on the stairs. She looked back at you and the eye contact was abruptly broken by you returning your gaze to the floor. That woman was quite intimidating.

You followed Seras into what you believed was the basement. 'Oh god is this really a murder kidnapping situation??' As you walked down the hall you saw a few doors. She led you to the end of the hall.

"This door on the left is mine and this one here is yours. " She said while pointing to a door right next to hers.

"Just let me know if you need anything. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight miss Seras."

Inside the room there was not much but it was far more than you were used to. You saw a bed with a tall frame, a small table and a wardrobe, all carved from dark wood. The walls of the room were a deep red making it all feel a little ominous, but who were you to complain.

You took your place under the covers of the bed, you were exhausted from helping Seras, so sleep took you quickly.

You awoke to the sound of knocking and an unfamiliar female voice asking you to open the door. 'Was it that woman in the suit from last night?' You hopped out of bed and straightened the shabby t shirt and pants that you were wearing. As you opened the door your suspicions were confirmed. It was that women. That captivating woman.

"Hello, My name is Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, and I am the current leader of the Hellsing organization, but you may refer to me as Sir Integra.

You nodded your head she was far more intimidating up close.

"May I come in?"

"Ah.. Yes Sir Integra..."

She entered the room and closed the door behind her. You stepped back. Your eyes were again glued to the floor. She took a few steps toward you, and was now directly in front of you. She was so close that if you looked up at her you might feel her breath on your face.

"Look me in the eyes."

You lifted your head. Sir Integra gazed into your eyes as if there was something that she was looking for within them. You watched as her eyes widened slightly as she continued her gaze. She grabbed your chin with her index finger and thumb and held your head high. You could feel the ghost of her breath on your cheek as she inspected you.

"Do you know who you are."

What kind of a question was that, you knew your name and you knew that you were a lowly street rat but there wasn't much else to you. Or was there... as you continued to think you realized that there were some gaps in your memory. You could not remember your life before the streets 2 years ago, and you could not remember exacly what happened the night of the attack.

"I'm not sure" you replied.

She let go of your chin and took a step back. 'Was I brought here for some other reason?' 'What would this woman want with someone like me?' As your thoughts tried to organize themselves you didn't notice that Integra was walking back towards you. She gently took hold of your shoulders which quickly brought you back to reality. She then turned you around and pulled down the back collar of your shirt. She touched the skin on the nape of your neck, making your skin heat and face flush.

Her touch had sent you right back to you thoughts but this time they were all about her. 'What kind of job was Seras talking about?' 'I wouldn't mind doing something like that for Sir Integra though...' 'Her hands are rough but so warm...' Then her hand left your neck and your mind returned from the heaven that it was sent to.

"What is your name"

"y/n"

"Are you aware of what you are y/n?"

"I am not sure what you mean Sir Integra."

You say while craning you neck to look back at her.

"What is the last thing you remember y/n?"

You took a moment to think. Before Seras came across you all you remembered was walking, you are not sure exactly how the city was destroyed but you heard murmurs of an attack among the surviving citizens. Before the 'attack' that citizens spoke of you remembered you life as a street rat.

"I remember walking and then Miss Seras Victoria asked me to help her."

"Before that." She said while turning you around to face her.

"I heard that the city-" she cut you off.

"No not what you heard what you remember."

"Ahh... before that I was living on the streets. I don't really know what was after that until Seras found me."

"Do you remember your life before you were on the streets?"

You racked your brain for any possible answer but you could not think of anything, not even your own last name.

"No Sir Integra I do not... I apologize."

She took a step back and pinched the bridge of her nose and scowled at the ceiling.

"No no there is noting to apologize for."

You had never thought of these things prior to Sir Integra's interrogation, but here questions had stirred up a storm inside you. Your gaze had returned to the floor.

"Sir Integra do you know who or what I am?"

Her questions had confused you. Why couldn't you remember anything about your life before the streets. You didn't remember you parents or even if you had any siblings. More importantly you couldn't remember anything about the night of the attack either.

"We have an idea, but you may not be ready to hear it."

'Does she mean that I cant handle the truth?' 'How could she assume that, she hardly knows me." You didn't understand why she didn't want to tell you the truth of your situation.

"Why would that be the case, Sir Integra?"

"We think that there may be a curse on you."

What the actual fuck... This woman must be crazy. This whole thing has to be some kind of cult. Are they preying on vulnerable people affected by the attack????

Your thoughts must have shown through on your face because Sir Integra fell into a fir of laughter.

"I promise you it isn't whatever you are thinking."

Your gaze shifted to the floor but this time out of embarrassment.

"What does that mean?"

"It just means that something has erased your memory."

"You never answered my question sir."

She hummed in response and pondered her reply for a moment.

"I do know who and what you are, and I believe once you regain your memory you will be a great asset to the Hellsing organization."

'So thats what this was about... and here I was thinking that I was taken in out of the kindness of Sir Integras heart' 'I hope she isn't just going to use me.'

With that she exited the small bedroom and left you standing in your place.

Your mind continued to ponder the thoughts that Sir Integra had left you with. 'She looked at me as if she recognized me, but i'm sure I would remember if I knew someone like her right?' 'My god she was so beautiful...' 'I hope I will get to see her again soon.'

Your pondering was interrupted by another knock on the door, but this time it was Seras that was knocking. When you opened the door you saw her holding out a dress to you that was similar to hers. It was a shorter cut, ending at your mid/upper thighs and had a button up collar with the Hellsing organization crest on the breast pocket.

"Sir Integra has decided to recruit you into our organization, so this is your new uniform!!"

As far back as you could remember you had never received new clothes. The dress she had given you felt soft but sturdy in your hands, much more high quality than the ill fitting pants and T shirt you had been in for god knows how long.

"Take a moment to get dressed and I will inform you of the rest after."

"Alright... thank you very much miss."

"Oh please no need to call me miss, i'm about the same age as you!"

"Oh I see, thank you."

With that you closed the door and began to undo the old shoe string you used as a belt to hold your worn jeans on your body. You peeled the pants off and then pulled the dirtied 2-sizes-too-big white t shirt off along with it.

You pulled the dress on, somehow it fit just perfect. 'how the hell did these people know my size... kinda creepy.' you used the shoe sting to tie your hair into a braid.

You looked into the mirror that sat atop the dresser. 'I didn't realize I would look so different after only changing my hair.' You had never worn such fitted clothes until now, but you had no other choice. The dress was much shorter than you were used too but you were grateful none the less.

You let Seras back into the room and she begins to tell you your currnet situation with the Hellsing organization.

"Sir Integra has come to the conclusion that you will be quite helpful to the Hellsing organization. She wants to help you realize who you are."

"I see."

You were curious about your memories and your past so what harm was there in going along with this.

"She has reason to think that you amnesia has to do with your run in with the second lieutenant of the last battalion."

"Did this second lieutenant do something to my memories?"

"Not directly, but we think that when you killed her you may have triggered a sort of 'last defense'."

"I... killed her?"

"Ah! Im so sorry I did not mean to cause you any distress..."

"No it's alright, I was just unaware that I was capable of such a thing."

Seras turned around and motioned for you to follow her as she continued walking. You walked through the endless corridors of the Hellsing estate and marched up grand staircases. You had never been in such a setting before, but you felt that you presence alone was ruining the beauty of it all.

Eventually you reached a large set of double doors at the end of the hallway. Seras stopped in front of them and turned to you.

"Sir Integra has requested to speak to you about your memories. I wish you the best of luck!"

She gave you a warm smile and left you alone in front of those large doors. You took a moment to gather your thoughts before you gave 3 short knocks.

"You may enter."

Her voice felt so familiar to you even though you had only heard it once before.

The doors swung open without you having to touch them. Sir Integra stood in front of the expanse of her mahogany desk. She leaned on the edge of it while smoking another cigar. For some reason she looked quite tense when she laid her eyes upon you.

"I see that Seras has already informed you that will be recruiting you into the Hellsing organization.

"yes, Sir Integra, she has."

"We do not wish to imprison you here but we believe that it would be in your best interest to stay. Do you agree y/n?"

"Yes Sir, I do."

"Then today will be your first official day with the Hellsing organization."

"Our first order of business will be to get your memories back."

You lifted your gaze to look her in the eyes, and you could not shake that feeling that you knew this woman. 'I wonder if we knew each other in the past...' Intrgra took the cigar out of her moth and smashed it into the metal ash try on her desk. The air was thick with the scent of tobacco and over all uneasiness of the whole situation. Integra walked towards you until she was directly in front of you.

"Do you recognize me, y/n?"

Your mouth went dry. 'So I really did know her in the past'.

"I wouldn't say recognize, but I have this feeling of familiarity whenever I speak to you or see you."

Integra smiled. You had no memory of her smile until now but it was the most pure and genuine thing you had ever seen. She took another step closer to you. She was more than a bit taller than you. The top of your head only reached the bottom of her chin, making you have to look up at her due to the proximity. You were so close to her that you could smell the way the tobacco mixed with her jasmine perfume. It was intoxicating. For some reason she was fully silent now. 'Is she waiting for me to say something?'

"Sir Integra, I have a question..."

"Go on then."

"Earlier you asked me if I knew what I am... what exactly did you mean but that?"

Integra grasped your shoulders and gazed into your eyes the same way that she did earlier. It looked like the was trying to organize hr thoughts before saying anything.

"Do you have any memory of the creatures that lurk this world."

That statement sent blood rushing to your head. Vampires. Ghouls. You felt like you were in a daze when you thought of those words, but you had no idea why.

"Yes, I think I do now that you mention it..."

Her gaze had not shifted, instead it had intensified, as if there was something in your eyes that had changed.

"You were a hunter, y/n, and no ordinary hunter at that."

You took a moment to take in her words. Was that why I was able to kill that 'second lieutenant' that Seras had referred to?'

"What do you mean 'no ordinary hunter'?"

The two of you stood in silence for a moment. Integra was contemplating how much she would let you know. One of her hands had shifted form your shoulder to your cheek. You could feel the soft fabric of her white glove touch your skin. She held your face as she began to speak.

"You are from a long line of Vampire hunters."

"Is that why you asked if I recognized you, because we are in the same business?"

She smiled again. 'Did I say something wrong?' your face heated up under her glove. 'Oh gosh she can 100% see how red my face is right now.'

"In a way, but we were closer than just plain business partners."

'How close does she mean...' Despite her telling you who you were you really could not remember the majority of it. You wanted her to tell you more, but you were to nervous to pry any further.

You shifted your gaze back down, your neck was getting a bit sore from looking up for so long. Your forehead was only a few inches from resting on her shoulder. 'I want to lay my head on-'

Before you could even finish your thought you felt a gentle hand on the back of your head pushing your forehead to rest on her shoulder. Your breath hitched for just a moment, but after a few seconds you were hit with an overwhelming sense of relief. Its almost as if your body still remembered her even though you did not. You both stood in silence like that for some time, until Integra took a step back.

"I'm sorry, I should have asked, you hardly know me after all." she said with a wry smile and eyes glued to the ceiling.

"N-no please don't apologize Sir Integra."

For some reason hearing you say that caused her smile to fall and her eyes to gloss over. 'What did I do wrong.'

After that its almost as if she flipped a switch inside her and the only thing that you felt was intimidation. Her face changed and her gaze hardened as she quickly turned back towards her desk. Something about that action hurt you more than any injury you could remember.

"I-I'm sorry Sir-"

"Please go."

"Yes Sir."

It took everything you had to not allow your voice to crack in front of her. For some reason you didn't want her to see you like that, but as soon as the doors to her office closed behind you, you could feel the tightness in your throat and the heat in your skull.

After that you began walking back to your room in a dazed state. Everything felt like it was spinning around you, and the air felt too heavy to breathe.

As you continued, you spotted Seras from across the hall, but something felt different. It's as if something had shifted and she was no longer the nice girl that had picked you up off the street.

Thats when you realized, she had a slight red tint to her eyes, she had a dark shadowy figure in place of her left arm, and she smelled ever so slightly of blood. 'This girl is not human.' 'This girl is not human.' 'What the fuck is she?' You felt like your soul was urging you exterminate her. You felt a pull from the deepest parts of your heart to end her life right there.

In the midst of all these thoughts you did not realize that your breathing had slowed and you had completely stopped walking just to stare at her with wide unblinking eyes. There was not a single thought in your head other than to urge to exterminate. You had been staring for so long that your eyes went bloodshot and burned like hell. For some reason you cold not snap yourself out of this trance-like state.

Then you felt a cold had on your shoulder. It was Seras.

"Are you alright, y/n?"

There was a look of genuine concern plastered all over her face. You wanted to tell her that you were just fine, but there was another side of you urging you to go for her throat.

You opened your mouth to speak but your throat felt dry. For some reason you could now hear everything in the whole house. Every creak of the wooden furniture. The footsteps of Integra pacing around her office on the floor above you. The whistle of the gas stove on floor blow you.

Seras had began to shake you by the shoulders just to get you out of whatever thoughts had trapped you but to no avail. You didn't realize that you had stopped breathing until you began to feel dizzy and your vision went black around the edges.

Seras caught you as you fell, and when you woke up you were back in the room you were given. That primal instinct to kill was gone, but for some reason you could still hear everything.

Seras and Sir Integra were talking two floors above you.

"It was something about her eyes, Sir Integra... they scared me."

"Seras, did you tell her that you are a vampire?"

"No sir i didn't."

"Oh god, we must have awoken her."

"What do you mean Sir Integra?"

"That girl is a vampire hunter."

Both of them paused for a moment before Integra continued.

"The combination of me telling her that she is a hunter and her seeing you after the fact must have caused a stir in her."

"Does that mean she remembers who she is?"

"Not necessarily, it is more like muscle memory than anything else."

"But that is a good start right Sir Integra?"

"I would have to agree with you Seras."

a/n ⋆˚꩜｡: Oh gosh I lowk have no idea if this is any good at all. Tbh this fic was born out of irritation of the lack of Integra fics on all platforms so I hope it reaches those who are looking for it. I am prolly gonna make more chapters to this, but lemme know your thoughts in the comment lol.