#integra hellsing x reader

Her behavior kind of depends on If you established your relationship outside of vampire hunting or not, if that makes sense 

Sometimes you’re her partner first and a vampire hunter second, and at these time Integra does NOT like that you’re a vampire hunter, but she won’t stop you.

Well, she won’t stop you if you work for her, otherwise she will outright try to prevent you from continuing your work alone, insisting you join her at hellsing, she wants to watch over you, she is very scared of losing you to the monsters you hunt 

In both situations you end up working for her, she chooses when to send you out, and unless you’re a particularly violent hunter she enjoys watching you work, it’s art to her.

Integra is by no means a violent person, she honestly hates excessive bloodshed, but she’d be lying if she said watching her partner elegantly dispatch monsters and hellspawn didn’t amaze her 

Even if you work as a sniper or some other task that keeps you at a distance, she always fully checks you for injuries after a mission. And often you find yourself conducting you debrief tucked against her chest, she likes to hold you once she knows you’re safe

She also insists that your preferred weapon is kept with hers, when going out for business she has her gun holstered and he sword at her hip but at home she has a custom weapons case, she gets you one too, it’s romantic to her in a private way, as long as it’s smaller than serass canons it will reside in her office when not needed.

She also is very into doing weapon maintenance together

you clean your weapon of choice throughly and she polishes her favorite guns and waxes and deburrs her personal Hellsing family sword, 

Weapons cleaning is one of those times that she talks to you in a quite casual voice that no one else would believe was hers, 

Even in peace times she cleans and maintains her fencing sword, and she won’t directly ask you to, but would LOVE if you sat with her when she does, you can talk or not, you don’t even really need to watch her, just you being close even though you have no weapon to clean puts her in a good mood.

overall, she holds you dear and it really makes her happy that you’re still human and she loves when you do very human things… seeing you shuffle around half awake and watching you react to a tasty food never fails to make her heart flutter.

I know that her first name is technically integral and I kind of have a hate love relationship with.. like baby who named u that…

But I like to think that her name is intended to be Integral (hellsing localization issues goes crazy I know.) but she’s always preferred Integra, it felt more like a girls name and it isn’t a word so people accepted it easier when she was introducing herself…

Young Integra didn’t like having to explain herself or defend her name, she was a bit meek in her earliest years and so her use of the nickname just permeated her life and one of her first decisions as leader of Hellsing was to be referred to as Dame Integra instead of Dame Integral or Miss Hellsing (which reminds her much too much of her mother.)

Later when she switched her working title from dame to sir and starting to be addressed as Sir Hellsing she still didn’t start using “Integral” for anything.

She doesn’t even sign with her first name, always singing with just her initials and basically everyone except her and Walter don’t ever really think about her full name, and only her Alucard, Walter and a handful of the older members of the Protestant knights really know it.

I think she’s grown more fond of her full name as she’s aged, feeling that the name is fitting for a knight and finds it a bit ironic considering her position

she is Integral to British society and yet uncommended…. Oooh my symbolism…

(if I keep taking I am going to start rambling about her plight as a brown woman in a position of power, I will stop here.)

I think Integra felt much more connected to her mother’s culture when she was young, and she mourns the loss of that connection along side her mourning her parents

I think that she was old enough to remember when her mother passed(or fell into a coma, if you prefer the 2001 version), I think she was maybe eight or nine? And before that she was very very close with her mother, since her father probably was often busy running Hellsing, so in metric time spent, she was predominantly with her mother.

I don’t think that her father was absent or emotionally neglectful, but I do think she spent more time with her mother while she was alive, and that when she passed, her father put Hellsing to the side, giving partial leadership to his brother, to spend more time with Integra and make sure she was okay after their shared lose, and that for the next four years leading up to his death he dedicated almost all of his time to Integra, and kind of used the time to make sure she’d be alright if he died, and trying his best to make sure he was raising her in a way her mother would’ve wanted.

I also think she intentionally dresses similar to how her father did as a show that no part of Hellsing’s core values have changed since her taking it over and she tries to portray herself as even more brutal on vampire attacks than he was, shes painfully aware that can’t be seen as weak.

I think at twelve when she first came to leading Hellsing she didn’t truly realize how much she’d have to do to establish her power, since she had Alucard and Walter to employ intimidation and diplomacy respectively.

Later, in her early or mid teens (I imagine 15 or so) as she took on more and more responsibilities and faced more and more subtle and overt misogyny as director, she switched from dame to sir and completely stopped presenting feminine,

She completely cut out wearing woman’s casual clothing, all jewelry, feminine tailored shirts, women's pants and shoes, any perfumes, and really anything that could be construed as feminine, teenage Integra was very masc, out of necessity.

She also began binding/wearing clothing to minimize her chest, and having Walter straighten her hair, though that had less to do with femininity than it did with Eurocentrism.

I think at several different points she told Walter she intended to cut her hair into a traditional man’s haircut , but she could never go through with it and just have Walter straighten it daily, and wearing it without styling which she still often does because she doesn’t have time to style it.

(Hirano’s character design is inconsistent so I can pick and choose from her different designs, HER NATURAL HAIR IS WAVY IN MY HEART OKAY)

I think she went on like this for a while, initially out of necessity to get herself properly established and later out of stubbornness to prove to herself that she had forsaken any part of herself that wasn’t focused on heading the Hellsing organization.

But then later as she matured some more she allowed herself to enjoy things that she had denied herself for the sake of her image, women’s clothes and terminology from those close to her, particularly floral scents and flowers in general as well as,

Some feminine things i think she allows for herself is her hair

I believe her mother spoke to her in her first language, (which I HC to be Kannada) and Hindi when she was young, and that after her mothers passing her father put her into classes to teach her in her mothers stead, so she learned both Kannada and Hindi growing up.

Now she speaks both languages very mechanically, partially because she mostly learned it from reading books and classes language classes taught by an Englishman and also because she rarely ever gets to use what she learned, but she can read both languages very well.

She maintained her reading skills because her mother kept a lot of books in Hindi and Kannada and Integra likes keeping them as nightly reading.

To her the languages are associated with the most peaceful and carefree times in her life, and the love of her mother, so the books are calming and she finds herself only willing to recreationally read books by South Indian authors, books centered around English characters just remind her of the people in her daily life and the work she has to do, so other than her mothers books you will not catching her reading in her free time.

I believe that she and that she’s kept all of her mothers belongings as if she was still alive, unlike the usual stowed away family heirlooms, she keeps them on display where her mother kept them when she was alive when her mother died her father would arrange her mothers things like she was still alive, Integra does the same for the both of them, but to a lesser degree,

Despite being the head of Hellsing she doesn’t sleep in the master bedroom, and she never will, that is her parent bedroom, and it will stay that way. Walter enters to dust and Integra enters when returning her mothers books the the appropriate shelves, or to replace a pair of her fathers cuff links to their box after she borrowed them.

Integra strongly thinks of all of these things she has from her parents as borrowed, maybe because they both died in such a way that they sparsely could think to leave her anything other than the sprawling Hellsing estate and the duty to protect queen and country from creatures of darkness, that she feels she can’t claim it as their own.

Or maybe it’s because said abrupt deaths took a silent toll on the woman that she can’t bare to think in a way that acknowledges her loss, and taking ownership of said artifact of her parents, artifacts of her childhood which violently ended at twelve just isn’t bearable for her whether she realizes it or not.

Integra wears her mothers saree’s when she’s not busy, and she’s always wanted to have one made for herself, instead of simply wearing her mothers, but the thought of attempting to even start the process of having one made makes her nervous and she just continues to wear her mothers,

Even before you’re married you’ll be considered the dame of the house, anyone who doesn’t know you personally should refer to you as such, she doesn’t force you to take her last name, but her title is non-negotiable.

Being around you she’ll feel much more free to shop, she’s typically very conservative with her spending, and shopping feels to frivolous for the Hellsing head, but that discipline goes out the window when her wife is around

she loves to buy you little surprise gifts, whenever she sees something you’d like or hear about something you want she im buys it and keeps it in her office. It makes her giddy to have gifts for you.

She has a habit of waiting to give them until a while after she’s gotten them for you, she’ll buy you something and then wait until the two of you are about to go on a date, or if she’s had a bad day to give it to you.

If it’s a date she’ll present you with a small box, her lips already twitching up into a grin, giving you a watch or a necklace or something to match something she’s already wearing before you go out, 

or if she’s had a bad day, she’ll calmly present you with something she heard you mention wanting about a week ago, all so she can bask in your reaction to receiving something you wanted. It calms her after a long day of corralling Alucard and Seras and filling out paper work to keep her estate running.

She likes getting you high quality things that will last, handmade leather gloves with the Hellsing insignia for the dreary British winters,

I’m sorry but you are never having an original outfit ever again, she loves matching jewelry already but after your complementary wedding rings, and outfits? It’s over. She likes matching so much that she buys almost everything that there’s a matching set of some kind for, even if it’s not her style she wants to match, your necklaces all match her watches and your earrings match her cufflinks, she says that it’s proper, as a married couple, but she just thinks it’s cute and that’s the whole of it.

She’s very fond of vintage designs and you both wear her families heirloom jewelry, she insists that you have some that are considered yours, from both her family collection and custom made suited to your tastes.

Integra isn’t great at public displays of affection, and she’ll reject any of your attempts if the feel too egregious to her, but she will hold your waist or at least your hand whenever you were in public, she likes leading you by your hand or waist , and she especially likes if you lean into her when she holds you.

Also, She doesn’t particularly like dancing, and didn’t do it much before you got together, but ever since you got together she’s made it a point to learn the basics of every kind close partner dance, so you never dance with anyone but her at parties, she’ll be jealous if you try to, with little exception.

She also doesn’t like you leaning on or being carried by others, Alucard and Seras should bring you to her, no reason for them to be cradling her wife when she has two perfectly good arms.

I think I’ve said this before but she’s a very clingy sleeper, I’m not going to elaborate because I feel like i always writes about it but you’re going to surrender your personal space in bed and let her hold you like a wife shaped stuffed animal, a small price to pay imo.

if you’re lucky, she’ll put you in a gentle headlock in your sleep, or unlucky, I guess if you’re not an insane freak… but you probably are tbh

First thing I want to say is that despite the incessant smoking Integra smells really good!! She uses different perfume and cologne for different circumstances. 

She’s very serious about how she smells. She painstakingly considers the head, heart, and soul notes before buying one; scent perception is important to her, She has a very strong sense of smell, so she can tell what scents make up a perfume or cologne, and can tell if there is an ingredient in her food that's out of the ordinary, its a bit uncanny to witness her realize that there are no spring onion in her chicken soup before tasting it.

Back on the topic of scents, how she smells can partially broadcast her mood to someone attentive enough, if she feels like her authority is being pressed she uses a high brow French scent that’s woody and clashes with the smell of her cigars, and when she is at her limit emotionally and trying to self regulate she subconsciously always picks a gingery or jasmine scent with warm notes like amber, and she uses mango, and herbal perfumes when she in a particularly good mood.

Her happier perfumes are much rarer than the others, but you’ll begin to pick up on the fact that her jacket always smells of mint and mangos when she takes you out on a fancy date, and you inevitably get cold, and she wraps it around you like it’s the natural next step. 

you ask her about her date perfume and tell her how much you like it and she incredulously tells you she doesn’t have a date perfume, search for a secret meaning in your words, and now you can tell her you’re observation, which she’ll dismiss, and even if you don’t elaborate she’ll deduce that you think she plans her scent choices adjacent to her she picks her cologne completely on a whim each morning. 

And she says this with such conviction that you won’t notice her start tracking her own cologne usage and trying to change her patterns, using floral perfumes for meetings and taking you to dinner with an amber-y yuzu scent. 

Integra doesn’t like her habits being predicted, especially when they're ones she doesn’t notice herself, but she quickly goes back to her usual scent habits. She hates being predicted but also is resistant to change… her childish defiance is a part of her gap moe to me…

She was actually sensitive to very powerful scents when she was younger, but she's mostly gotten over it.

If you ask her about her cologne, she’ll give you a very detailed explanation of how the scents interact.

It's fine if you don't understand her very complex explanation. If this is the first time you've mentioned it, she's actually grappling with the fact that you noticed and cared to ask, and the fact that your attention is making her face and chest burn hot. She's not speaking to be understood; she's speaking to fill the air with something other than a scream of terror at how your attention makes her feel.

I could make a whole post just about her smoking habits. I have too many thoughts, but I do want to mention that she insists that her cigars don't stink, she finds it insulting that you would say that, do you think she stinks??? 

If you do hate the smell of them, she will try to lighten up on smoking them, but she is super addicted to nicotine, and when she's stressed, they’re her first method of dealing with it. 

She will brush her teeth often so that you won't avoid kissing her because of it. You shouldn't mention this, though; she’ll deny it and will be frustrated because if you knew, why haven't you been kissing her more?

Integra is completely unprepared for the way being in love makes her feel; she’d like the feelings to stop, but her chest aches at the thought of you not giving her these feelings anymore. She's torn, she hates this, she is going to ask you to go to dinner with her again, and she would like it if your next visit was longer. 

You will never hear any of this, of course, her turmoil all conveyed through her stiffly delivered offer to make a guest bedroom permanently yours.

She is very physically reactive to her emotions. The first time you left the manor unguarded during the millennium catastrophe, she was so anxious she thought she had the flu and took cold and flu medicine every four hours until Walter made her stop and called her physician. You got back the next afternoon, and her health miraculously returned to her. 

You are now considered a liability that Hellsing enemies can exploit, and are escorted by an operative or two. If you’re lucky, you can take Seras, who won't turn down anything that you want to do, 

I think Integra really likes having a full garden at the manor, and she keeps it very well organized at that, with not just flowers for decoration and fragrances but herbs and some vegetables too.

She’s got charts of plans for the garden sorted by each season, and considers the necessary nutrient cycles and the most effective ways to balance the crops, flowers, and herbs she wants to grow. It’s one way she can let herself relax and not feel like she’s wasting her time, since it is a part of managing the Hellsing estate.

If you like to help manually in the garden, she’d be very pleased with you, and probably tell Seras to assist you in any way you’d need, even simply walking through or having tea with her in the garden re-energizes her, she’ll often ask you to have tea with her there or in her office over looking it if she’s can. The manor's garden makes her feel like she’s successfully running her household and, by extension, the Hellsing organization. 

She also likes to have Walter prepare you fresh bouquets whenever she’s got plans for the two of you. 

In the spring and summer, she arranges for there to be flowers in vases in nearly every used room of the manor.

She’s always worried if you’re cold too; she’s always checking and trying to ensure you’re properly warmed. She doesn’t want you to get sick or for you to be anything but comfortable.

 Integra doesn't visibly blush, but like I said before,  she does have a very strong physical reaction to embarrassment and being flustered; her face burns, and the heat spreads from her forehead down to her chest.

She hates it. No one can tell she's blushing, she assures herself, but she can tell that she's blushing and is silently grateful that her melanin conceals it so well, and also silently enraged at her body's overreaction to her emotions.

But you can tell she's embarrassed by your attention by the way she purses her lips, and if she feels like you're doing it intentionally to tease her, she’ll sneer and glare at you, before looking away for

When she’s stressed, she craves ginger. She actually loves ginger candies, and now that she's older, she can be seen drinking ginger tea in its stead. She still keeps the candies, but the director of Hellsing “shouldn’t present herself as a sugar addict.”

She secretly has a bit of a sweet tooth that she tries to plays off, it started with twelve year old Integra being able to tell Walter to insure that they keep her favorite desserts on hand, and though she is now an adult with adult self control and an adult diet, she still enjoys sweet things, not sugary flavors, but honey sweetened or fruity syrups, 

It’s important that you get along with Seras. Integra doesn’t have many friends, and her vampire dog's daughter is one of the few people she can actually be some degree of casual around, and Seras would likely be the person she would trust to guard you, so it’s best you try to befriend the fledgling

Seras is probably over the moon about the two of you being together, though. She respects Integra sooo much and even considers her her closest friend, and you make Integra happy; she wants to spend time with you! She wants to learn about what you like and indulge in your hobbies

and honestly, Seras probably has a bit of a crush on both of you… she wanna be in between that, BAD, it's a little embarrassing for her.

Anyways, she’s hime-ing out! She really wants to be close to you, since, like Integra, the Hellsing organization doesn’t afford her many friends.

A few of her favorite desserts are Rava Kesari and stroopwaffles. 

Rava Kesari is one of the few recipes that her mother would make that Walter could recreate. When she was young, she’d spit out the raisins, and now she eats because she thinks not eating them makes her look childish.

She likes chocolate and honey stroopwaffles, not so much the caramel ones. She prefers them warm, but often eats them straight out of the packaging.

She likes to eat foods she knows you enjoy, and likes to introduce you to new foods she thinks you'll enjoy. She isn't shy about accommodating your palate or straight up leaving an expensive dinner if there isn't anything for you to enjoy.

Despite dinner dates being her go-to date, she doesn't eat from restaurants much; she tips insanely well when she does take you out, though. Especially if the waiter is accommodating to you.

Her preference for tea is tamarind, with ginger and honey; she insists on adding the honey herself and insists that the amount she adds isn't excessive. Despite hiding her love of sweets, she doesn't compromise on the amount of honey she has in her tea.

Integra enjoys being and dressing masculine in some regards, but she also likes to express her femininity and cannot do so as freely as she would like as head of the Hellsing organization.

Because of this, she really appreciates a feminine partner or a partner whose presentation is different from hers. I think she also likes it if her partner is not traditional English standards of femininity or of beauty; y’all can’t both have scary blue eyes… somebody needs to get brown contacts NOW.

She likes that you have the freedom to not only express femininity but also explore it in ways she can’t find time to allow herself to. And buying you things to express yourself makes her happier than if she had bought herself something.

She's got a very expressive face that she can’t always control, and she's never hated it more than when she's around you in public.

And I mean less in public and more in the presence of Alucard, he knew Integra had feelings for you before she did, and he won't feel vindicated until the two of you are married with two to six Integra-lings.

Earlier, I said Seras was Hime-ing out? Alucard is big Himedanshi in the flesh. In his mind, he is playing with dolls and trying to get you guys to kiss. Integra wants to shoot him dead. It's a terrible dynamic, but he’ll give her good advice on what accessories she should get you, and on how she can ask you what exactly your relationship is without her smoking her lungs black or pulling out her hair in the process.

Integra can't tell if you're actually dating her until you're married. It's not that she's naive or anything; it's just that she cannot tell if she's letting her feelings for you (and Alucard's unsolicited opinions) color her view of your interactions or if you are truly reciprocating romantically. 

You have to be very direct with her about your homosexual intentions, or she will try to come on a bit stronger for confirmation, convince herself that that wasn't true confirmation and that she is being biased, try to come onto you a bit stronger, and repeat the process until she hits her wall of gentlemanly proprietary and feels can't go any further without her being sure you feel the same towards her. 

Even if you continue to escalate or get closer to her, she’ll begin worrying that you’re doing romantic things for her sake, or that she's made her feelings so obvious that you're entertaining her and not really invested in a relationship.

 Please just tell this woman that you want to marry her; she's losing sleep at night, wondering if she's intimidated you into lesbianism.

early into your relationship, she’s very professional with treating you to things, shes stone-faced while giving gifts, but cant help but smile at your reaction but the second you do anything for her she’s like a weak hearted Victorian woman, she feels like the walls are full of lead, you straighten her tie and look up at her and she feels faint she’s going to overheat and die, and then when you finish and step away she feels an unnatural chill, like a ghost is leaning over her shoulder.

You make her so so weak and it makes her so frustrated, but she doesn't really blame you so much as she condemns her own weakness silently, and no matter how out of control her feelings for you make her feel internally she'd never even think to take it out on you.

She just dotes on you as much as she can stand in private, broods and smokes a bit more, and considers holy repentance, maybe it'll fix whatever's wrong with her head.

She does eventually get better at processing her feelings for you, expressing them too, but she's still a bit aloof, she'll loose aura if anyone but you sees her bare her heart.

I gotta work hard these next few weeks so please talk to me about Integra for motivation to finish the semester strong…