You don’t have to be at a gym with spotless mirrors for selfies in your matching legging/sports bra set. You don’t have to go out and buy the new leggings with mesh cutouts. Your breakfast doesn’t have to be a rainbow fruit tray that you eat by the ocean. Your shoes don't​ have to stay clean and new.

You can literally workout in the same black leggings you got on clearance and that oversized, ratty t-shirt that you’ve been rocking since highschool. You can eat 2 servings of pepperoni for breakfast because it fits in your macros and you really don’t feel like cooking. You can have shoes that have been through shit (literally) and have some fraying from that hike when you tripped over a sharp rock.

Signs of being addicted to approval include:

1. You are very aware of the expectations of others. They also affect how you feel about yourself.

2. You are constantly worried about how others view you/ what they are thinking about you.

3. You choose NOT to do things that others don’t approve of for fear of judgment and rejection.

4. You DO things you don’t want to do as you fear others making fun or you, putting you down, or talking about it.

5. You feel anxious and upset if you think you have upset or irritated someone – and desperately try to make things right.

6. You think the views and opinions of others are more informed and valuable than yours.

7. You agree when others criticise and put you down. Then you start to attack and feel ashamed of yourself.

Give me mistakes

Give me writing that looks like scratches, not curls

Give me rough edges, and black paint

Give me bad lighting

Ink that dripped through the page

Holes that were teared or burned

Give me a reflection

Of everything inside you that you can never express

Everything wrong or dark or painful or pushed aside

Give me a real diary, not some pretty organized agenda

give me reality.