Meowtwo(Turtle)

*as Alfred walks into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea*

Damian, sitting on the kitchen counter: -I'm just saying it's not uncommon that women eat the placenta after giving birth.

Tim, cross-legged on the floor below, looking up at him pensively: ...did Talia eat her placenta with you?

Damian: ...i don't even know if i had a placenta. i was designed, not born, remember? *notices Alfred* oh. hello Pennyworth.

Tim, glancing over: 'sup.

Alfred, calmly reaching for the kettle, trying to remain positive about the conversation: good afternoon, boys.

Tim, turning back to Damian: are you saying Talia actually chose for you to be like this?

Alfred, confidence instantly wilting: *sternly* Timothy.

Tim, ignoring him completely, grinning up at Damian: you're like her version of macaroni art.

Damian, shooting Tim a half-lidded face of judgement: Jason came up with more creative versions of that insult when he was still zombified by the pit. i hope you're proud of yourself.

Tim, whining: -hey, Jason grew up on the streets, he's fluent in street banter! i think i do pretty well as an isolated rich kid without siblings or friends.

Alfred: *opens the cupboard for tea and. freezes.*

Damian: how come you can use your upbringing as an excuse for how you are but when i do it i'm 'a real issue'?

Tim: *snort* because you use your upbringing as an excuse for killing people.

Alfred, voice weary: ...boys.

Tim and Damian: *look over at him*

Alfred, slowly reaching in and bringing out a large glass jar filled with clear fluid, submerging what is clearly a human organ: do either of you care to explain what this is... and why it's in my tea cupboard?

Damian, swinging his legs: *blinks slowly* oh. that's Timothy's spleen. i won it from my grandfather in a game of online chess and he overnighted it from the compound. *pause* and i put it in the cupboard because Father was here a few minutes ago and he doesn't like looking at our organs.

Tim, head snapping over to Damian and narrowing his eyes suddenly: won it in- you said you snuck over and pulled off some great big fucking heist! you little- *abrupt pause*

*a beat*

Tim: you beat Ra's at chess?

Damian, blankly: mother designs her macaroni art to be good at strategy games.

Alfred: *looking at the jar in abstract horror*

Damian: -anyway, back to the original topic; Timothy. women eat the placenta all the time. how is this different?

Alfred: *whispering* why is his spleen outside his body?

Tim, back to being pensive: i dunno Dames... it might make me sick. i'm suspectable to that now.

Damian: well maybe this will fix that! look, it was already in your body; i don't see how putting it back in there could be bad in any way.

Tim: well yeah- but it's different when the entrance to it going inside being used is my mouth.

Damian, making a face: what do you want me to do then, put it up your ass?

Tim: i don't know why we have to do ANYTHING!

Alfred: *still staring at the jar*

Damian: i'll season it really good, i promise.

Tim, mouth twisting uncertainly: mmm......

*Duke walks in, glancing up from his phone*

Duke: 'sup fuckers. -and Alfred. Alfred isn't a fucker. love you Alfred. what's going on in here?

Tim, bitterly: Damian's trying to peer pressure me into eating my spleen.

*a beat*

Duke: *squints* is it not inside you already?

Tim: *points at jar*

Duke, calmly: ...huh.

*another beat*

Duke, looking down at Tim: what are you waiting for? do it pussy.

Damian: *grins in triumph*

Tim:

Alfred, eyes still not able to be dragged away from the jar: ...i think we need to update your medical records, Master Timothy.

Tim, wrapping his arms around himself on the floor: -and i think i need compensation. i only just got used to having older siblings, and now i have two younger ones. and they both want me to suffer. this is an entirely different ballgame. i'm in danger.

Ghost the second he steps foot off base:

Ghost: Wait a damn minute- You want me to work with GRAVES???

Soap: It's the only way!

Ghost, seriously: There's a chance you two aren't coming home

Gaz, loudly through the speaker: IF I DIE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T PLAY NICE WITH GRAVES THEN I'M GOING TO DRAG MY CORPSE OVER THERE AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH MY OWN BONES

Ghost: Uh- be there soon-

Gaz: BE HERE NOW BITCH

John MacTavish with a resting bitch face and a snaggle tooth when he smiles who’s with me?

Finished my Halloween art yesterday then forgot to post it!

Anyway it’s not super late like last year which is kinda shocking cuz I’ve been non stop fighting for my life at school :P

Also ms paint brush my beloved I don’t have to think about pen pressure

Captain Marvel? More like Captain Scary! (Faceless!Marvel AU) p.2

Batman feels like he’s going to explode from the frustration he’s feeling right now. It’s been two years and six months since Captain Marvel joined the Justice League, and he still hasn’t been able to discover anything about the man himself! His age? Nothing. His identity? Nope. His personal life? A BIG NOOOOO.

It would’ve been easier if Marvel even had a face to scan—that would’ve helped find out who he was. The problem? Marvel was faceless! The man had no face to scan. The only thing visible under his hood was pure darkness, like a void. It was very disturbing to look at directly during the first few months after he joined, but over time, you kind of got used to it.

And don’t get him wrong—he knows he has a serious problem with paranoia. Even his children keep reminding him of that. He also knows that every member of the Justice League is entitled to a personal life and a secret identity.

It’s just that in those two years, he hasn’t been able to create a contingency plan for Marvel, mainly because he doesn’t know anything about him.