cyanide bbq

you missed it because you were looking at your phone but an angel just appeared to me with a flaming sword and told me that god decided there’s nothing wrong with day drinking

we did it

They quit

The police pull my lifeless body from a lake but I’m wearing the funniest hat they’ve ever seen and they can’t stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water

welp. i was THISCLOSE to posting an adolescent “i hate everything” post… and then i saw this.

Literally just let this play 8 times in a row and my smile never faltered even once 😁

This healed me….

Ugh her mind she's out here collecting genres of white woman like Pokėmons

bro stop chanting in dead languages you’re scaring the hoes

im summoning the hoes fool