NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM Y'ALL

So I’ll say it again: it is okay if you come to tumblr to escape upsetting news. It is okay if you’re just here for fun and fandom. It is okay if you do not want to use your tumblr as a place to read about or spread the current events that are circulating. It is okay if you need a place to decompress and just relax. There are other ways to be involved in/support causes and you are allowed to set boundaries on social media platforms without it being indicative of your belief systems. 

Black Lives Matter. Trans rights are human rights. Feminism is important for all genders. LGBT+ pride. And yes this blog is anti-fascist.

This post is for people who suffer anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues who needed reassurance that it’s okay to have a place to retreat from the news cycle for a little while–that they can just enjoy tumblr as a fandom platform while offering their support to important causes in other ways. Tumblr is not the only place to be an activist (nor even the most effective) and mental health maintenance is crucial right now.

I don’t own Night at the Museum.  Other than that, enjoy!

“C’mon Jed, you gotta like someone!”   Larry said as they took their break.  

“Don’t gotta do nothin’,” Jedediah replied as he took a bite of his granola bar.  Then he checked his watch.  “Shit, I gotta go; I got a tour in five minutes.” He stood up, brushed his musum uniform off and turned to go.

“Don’t forget we have a staff meeting after closing!” Larry shouted after him.

“I won’t mom!”

…

“That.  Was. Horrible.”  Jedediah collapsed into the chair next to Larry.

“What happened?”

“School tour with teachers who couldn’t care less.”

“Don’t envy you for that one.”

“I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.  So,” Jedediah looked around at his coworkers. “Anyone know what this meeting is about?”

“New coworker.” Sacagawea answered.  Jedediah rolled his eyes.

“We need a meeting for that?”

“McPhee wants to make sure we all get along.”

“We do!”

“Yes,” Sacagawea said.  “But we all started working here around the same time. Octavius is the first new employee in months.”

“Octavius?” Jedediah laughed.  “The hell kind of a name is that?!”

“I could ask you the same thing.” A new voice replied. Jedediah went still.  Sacagawea, Larry, Teddy, and Ahkmenrah were all looking behind him.  Jedediah slowly turned around with a sheepish grin.

Whatever he expected Octavius to look like, he was wrong.

The sleeves of his uniform were rolled to his elbows, revealing tattoos covering both arms, and his hair was long on top but undercut on either side.  It was a solid black, and he had a spiked septum piercing in his nose.

And he looked very unimpressed with Jedediah.

“This is Octavius, our new employee.  He’ll be doing tours in the miniatures hall.”  McPhee said at last, before exiting the awkward situation.  Everyone else suddenly had very important things to attend to, and made speedy exits.

Leaving Octavius and Jedediah alone.

“Look, I wanted to apologize for…that,” Jedediah said as he rubbed the back of his neck.  “I like to put my foot in my mouth.”

“Clearly.” Octavius said in a clipped tone.

“Okay, listen.  We’re going to be coworkers, not only in the same museum but the same area.  If you’re not going to forgive me, can we at least forget it and start fresh?”

“Only if you answer one question for me,” Octavius said. Jedediah gulped

“The hell kind of a name is Jedediah?” Octavius smirked with a raised eyebrow.  Jedediah blinked for a moment, before laughing.

I am so screwed.

…

It had been a little over a month since Octavius had come to work at the Museum of Natural History, and Jedediah was losing his mind.  I mean, who could work with Octavius and not?

He was smart, sarcastic, and lets not pull any punches.  He was hot. Jedediah knew how he felt.

Figuring out how Octavius felt was the tricky part. “Hey, Octavius?” Jedediah called. “I’m going to go on break.” He said.

“No problem, I can handle this.”  Octavius replied.  Jedediah nodded and left for the break room.  He was relieved to see Larry already sitting in there.

“I need help.” Was the first thing Jedediah said when he walked in.  Larry jumped in his seat.  Jedediah didn’t even give him a chance to ask why.  “What do you do when you like someone?”

“Like someone?” Larry put down his coffee.  “Jed.  Do you have something to tell me?”

“Not if you act like that.  Now answer my question dammit!”

“Okay, okay!” Larry held up his hands.  “Just be yourself?”

“Already doing that.  What else?”

“Um, uh,” Larry stuttered at he thought, and then snapped his fingers.  “Common interests!  Find out what he likes to do!”

“Yeah, yeah.  That could work!” Jedediah grinned, but it quickly vanished.  “Wait.  When did I say it was a he?”

“Jed.  I’m not stupid.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“Get out of here!”

…

The next day, Jedediah came in to work just like everyday.

Well, almost.  Instead of listening to country music on he way in, he made sure his headphones were around his neck, and playing heavy metal just loud enough to be heard by others.

Well, one other in particular.  

And his plan paid off in the staff room.

“Didn’t think you were a rock guy, Jed.” Octavius commented as they put their street clothes in their respective lockers.  Jedediah shrugged.

“Yeah, I uh, I listen to this stuff all the time.”

“Which bands your favourite?”

Shit.  “Uh, no one in particular, I kinda listen to a lot of everything.” Octavius nodded.

“Cool.”  After he left, Jedediah did a little fist bump.

…

The next week, Jedediah took it up a notch. Instead of his street close being blue jeans and a flannel, Jedediah came in wearing torn skinny jeans and a band shirt.  He was practically waddling he was so uncomfortable but managed to make it to the break room looking semi-normal.

“Don’t think I’ve seen that shirt before.” Octavius commented.  Jedediah shrugged once more.    

“Found it in the back of my closet the other day.   Nearly forgot about it.”  Octavius nodded, but was looking at him peculiarly. Jedediah finished changing, and left with a lopsided grin.  

Octavius watched him go with a thoughtful gaze.

…

“Alright.” Jedediah said to himself in the mirror.  “You ain’t no coward.  You got this. After all, it’s just hair.” Jedediah stared at himself in the mirror for another moment, and grabbed the boxy of hair dye sitting on the bathroom sink.

…

The clip on ring in his nose was itchy, but not nearly as itchy as the beanie covering his hair.  He walked up the steps to the doors of the museum, and paused to take a deep breath.  Then he pushed the doors open and walked inside.

Before he could even make it to the break room, Octavius came out.  He took one look at Jedediah’s nose, before sighing.  “Okay, we need to talk.”  Octavius declared, grabbing Jedediah by the arm and pulling him into the nearest supply closet.  “Take it off.”        

“Excuse me?” Jedediah was shocked.  “We’re at work!” He hissed.

“The nose ring, dumbass.”

“Oh.”  Jedediah said sheepishly, but complied.

“And the beanie.”

“What’s wrong with my hat?”

“I’ve never seen you wear a beanie.  Off, now.”  Jedediah sighed, but did as he was told.  Octavius sucked in a breath.  “What did you do?”

“You don’t like it?”

“Answer the question, Jed.”  Octavius sighed.

“…I thought you’d like it.” Jedediah said, feeling stupid.

“Thought I’d… Wait, is that what’s been going on the last couple weeks? The clothes and the music?”  Jedediah nodded, not meeting Octavius’s eyes.  “Hey.  Look at me.” Jedediah slowly lifted his gaze. Octavius laid a hand on Jedediah’s shoulder.  “You don’t have to change yourself for me.” Octavius said sincerely.  “I liked you just the way you were.”

“Really?”

“Really.  Now,” Octavius said as he opened the closet door.  “Here’s what we’re going to do.  After work I’m taking you to get your hair fixed and as an apology for all of this your taking me out to dinner.  Deal?”

Jedediah grinned.  “Deal.”

only took me forever and a day but ABSOLUTELY YOU CAN

they quote gay movies

they watch cat videos on youtube 

they take selfies

I’m pretty sure they actually became canon in NatM3? 

there’s a host of crazy shit that goes on, including a fucking t rex that plays fetch with one of its own ribs

a mutual of mine

suddenly has posts on their blog

with links to “find women to have sex with”

my mutual is NOT POSTING THESE