O virgins, demons, monsters, martyrs

    his heart ached for her already & he hadn’t heard a thing yet. whatever could be that caused his precious jolyne any distress, he wanted to make it go away—tear it down, so it could never come back to haunt her. as much as he loved looking at that face, that expression of doubt & fear, was one he didn’t want to see again on her. it made him want to hold her tight; wrap his arms around her & protect her at all costs. it didn’t matter what or who it was. for her, he’d give it his all.

    then, came her response. his brows rose as he looked down at her with mild surprise written on his features. of course not! he could never think so low of someone so strong, but even if that was the case… anasui was ready to accept it no matter how much it made his stomach turn. “—i know you’re strong, jolyne. you don’t need to prove it to me.” even if she laughed, he could tell that the real issue troubled her. the mention of her parents, one that he became sympathetic about, considering how strained the relationship with his own parents was. “you can tell me. i won’t judge you. i won’t think less of you.”

When it came to Annasui, it always laid beyond her understanding how he could sound just so confident when claiming all sort of wonderful things about her, professing bold words of love, eloquent sentences that she barely understood half of, and so on, such a strange one that he could be. But out of all those crazy things that sunded like a broken record sometimes --at least, enough that everyone else around them would easily grow tired of hearing-- it was that small but powerful word that she Jolyne couldn’t quite accept, because it did not feel right. Strong. Strong. Strong. Did he really think she was someone that unshakable, unbreakable, indomitable? Someone like her, who had gone through hell and back, and that her broken pieces showed just as much? Jolyne didn’t consider herself not at all weak, sure, but to actually call herself strong...why did it not feel right? As if, this concept of strength was an ideal she hadn’t reach just yet, she wasn’t that strong just yet.

   oh, how he wished she would talk back—give him a reason to strike her down, if not by his hand, with his words. such prideful woman, testing whatever control he had of his emotions. her mere presence, stirring a mixture of anger, disgust, jealousy… for she was a threat to everything he had fought against, bringing out the childish nature that remained hidden within him. however, he could not act in such a way that would draw attention, not when his intention was to fool the world around him into believing he could be a gentleman regardless of his upbringing. to succumb to his emotions, it would signify defeat.

   “—are you saying that because it’s what’s expected from you, or do you truly believe so?” how far could her conviction go? he wondered. to keep this charade between the two, as if that kiss wasn’t the beginning of a domino effect that led to a fist-fight between two brothers & blood being shed on a stone. neither had spoken about it in the seven years that followed, but that did not mean it was forgotten. her act of insolence still remained present in his memory, but more prevalently, the way he reacted. it brought shame upon him just thinking about it. “will you stand by those words, even if i go out of my way to make you miserable?”

Nodding her head enthusiastically that even the golden curls on her head would sping about the frame of her face. An almost childish display that brough her no shame, for she knew there was no room for hesitation in that moment, a man like him would take any chance given to prod her with the stakes of someone so used on picking on those weaker than him. “Of course I believe so. An act of kindness could save someone’s life, it goes beyond the endeavour of modern medicine, my lord. This, at least, is what I believe indeed.” Ereastly, she spoke with the type of idealistic romanticism that of an heroine in a novel, in a play, someone who was meant to exist to inspire the masses, but Erina did not have such ambitions at all, for all she wanted was to live a life walking under the sunlight, an honest life, one she would not regret.

A question such as his brought her to feel something like sadness, not for herself, but for the man. Sometimes it would seem as though his heart was so cold, that her hands would freeze and splinter if she so much tried to touch it, and that fleeting thought truly, deeply pained her --- what is it like? she wondered to herself, to have a heart that’s never felt the warmth of someone else? Perhaps, in a most cynical point of view, she truly was a foolm before Dio, she would’ve never though of such.

    his unwillingness to engage in conversation should’ve been enough to give that impression. however, whether he said as much or remained in silence, it didn’t seem like it would be enough to satisfy her need to disrupt the silence that lingered there now that the bartender was gone. especially not when she appeared too eager to talk while their little ‘party’ slept upstairs.

     her reasoning is what finally made him redirect his attention towards her with a semblance of interest in his features. fingers curled around his drink as he stares while she goes further into detail as to why she was down here, downing a glass of whiskey instead of resting. unfortunately for him, the single detail that had piqued his attention was the one that went unaddressed. his own mind, coming up with possible previous jobs that she could’ve had.

   “—i see.” in a way, he could understand where she was coming from. despite it already been three years since joon-gi unwillingly abandoned that kind of lifestyle, it had become a part of him whether he wanted to admit to it or not. that, & the paranoia that came with hiding & posing as somebody else made for a difficult goodnight sleep. geomijul may have become his haven for a while, but even there, he found himself awake at late hours of the night. if he slept, it was with one eye open.

     joon-gi nodded in return. “i suppose i could say the same. i preferred nighttime, anyway. not that it’s anything special in a dead bar.” a small, barely audible chuckle escapes him. his mind wandering off to the ‘cover’ of his own property back in the day, & the plenty of times he preferred to be there instead. “i guess it has its charm.”

The first bubbling emotion she felt was a sense of smug satisfaction. Managing to get the guy to say over a couple of words so quickly, so much for the silent act, it seemed. Saeko didn’t feel the need to rub it to his face, she comformed with smiling to herself, letting a small laugh to resonate at the back of her throat. The second emotion, was simple curiosity at the words themselves, eyes carefully observing the handsome profile of the man with a raised brow, and a playful tone then in which she spoke. 

“Aww, how come? Is your lady boss making you work overtime?” Carelessly said, but while meant as a joke without basis, she had the feeling that Seong-hui would not be above cracking the whip on her subordinates to get shit done, because as unorthodox as Saeko found her sometimes, that woman was still the leader of the Geomijul. Still, regardless the reason, it was a little surprising to think they were on agreement over something.

    he thought to himself he was being reasonable. a few, simple tasks, everything he asked for in return after making him disrupt his schedule & come all the way here, out of his usual route. yet, her reaction caused a brow to be raised. too loud & sceptic for his taste. did she really thought he’d let go of her without doing something for him in return? she did ask what type of girl he took her for & his answer came as calm & composed as it could be. “—if you never suffer the consequences of your actions, you will never learn from your mistakes.” rich coming from a man who defended anyone who hired him, regardless of whether his clients were guilty or not. that, however, was something that her parents should’ve taught her. not her friend’s father.

     dio adjusted his seatbelt & retrieved his keys to ignite the engine. the radio turning on & filling the silence that was left after that. to think he’d end up lecturing a child that wasn’t his own… it brought out a sigh from the blond. “you’re careless, irresponsible & lack the proper manners a lady like you should have.  you need discipline.” & an active parent, he thought, but after all these years, he doubted that much else could be done about it. the damage had already been made. “you will be performing a few tasks for me. i’m a busy man, so i don’t always have the time to tidy up my home office. i’d like you to do that for me while i get in contact with your mother & make up for an excuse. sounds fair?”

While inside her head an array of pros and cons (about this exaggerated narrative she had been so quick to build after hilariously jumping into conclusion) was spinnig like a hurricane, the man’s stern voice, almost condescending and and reprimental, brought her drifting mind back to reality, and said reality was unexpectedly (or expectedly) much less dramatic than she had assumed.

“...tasks?....oh, oh! ” Of course, of course! What the fuck was she expecting?! Why in the goddamn fuck did she even assume...that other thing?! Wide eyed and face hot, mouth slightly parted while staring silently for a second at the man as he got into his car, and probably expected her to do the same. If there was a word to describe her embarrassment, Jolyne sure as fuck didn’t know it, because there was no name that came to mind to call the sheer shame she was experiencing through her whole damn body. Not even the harsh words spat at her face really managed to do much of an effect on her when all she wanted to do was to crawl into the earth for very different reasons than being told she lacks this or that. No, she was much more preocupied over the fact she assumed that her friend’s dad was trying to hit on her.