Bottom of the Barrel ->Temptations

A sculpture of a lady and a butterfly

Terrible idea. Let's do it!

I can provide intel on a certain angle who's name begins with M and ends with Ichael...

Plea for Amnesty

I would like to make a strong plea for an amnesty. I am still incarcerated against my will in a pillow fort in hell - third pillow fort from the left - and have ruined my fingernails in several attempts to escape.

Everything I had hoped for came true! Crowliel walked me up and down the endless halls of heaven - he showed me the hippity-hop and the cool swerve, the head swivel and the shoulder wiggle …

back in his headband era David's hair accessory can be found on amazon for $8.99

Terrible idea. Let's do it!

I can provide intel on a certain angle who's name begins with M and ends with Ichael...

Terrible idea. Let's do it!

I can provide intel on a certain angle who's name begins with M and ends with Ichael...

“Asexual characters are boring” I have traveled across eleven countries and ten states When I was thirteen I had hydrochloric acid dumped down my back and I walked away without a scratch When I was twenty-one I broke into castle ruins with a professor and found out afterwards that they were probably haunted

I once got stranded on a mountain while I was searching for the Cave of Zeus and got rescued by a little old lady who didn’t speak a word of English and the local village’s schoolteacher who did

I’ve learned how to surf on water, to dance with fire, and to bungee jump through the air I’ve walked up mountains, down beaches and through forests

My friends tell me I have the weirdest luck of anyone they’ve ever met and laugh about what mysterious forces must conspire to keep me alive

And yet, according to you a story about my life would be dull and uninteresting simply because I have no interest in sex

I wasn’t aware that that was the sum total of my value That no one cared about what I’d done only who

That every man must get a girl and every girl must be gotten and that to do otherwise is to be banished into obscurity

And yet I’m still here, still writing, still telling stories, and while I have been described as many things boring has yet to be one of them

Ace characters might be boring to non-ace readers who like smut.

Smut might be boring to an ace reader who has no interest in such.

Chess is boring to someone who’s not into chess, and car races are boring to those who don’t like car races.

Especially in fandoms - if one has gotten used to (and even experience a degree of healing from) reading fics about the main characters battling each other in a very anticipated chess match, and they just don’t - because they went to watch a car race instead - the whole read might feel kinda pointless for people who get so riled up by reading about chess matches they read 100k words in a day and can’t sleep until the chess match is done.

That doesn’t mean the car race fic shouldn’t exist. It just means that the chess truthers won’t find it entertaining. But you know who will like the car race fic? Car race enthusiasts!

I am boring to some. Some are boring to me. It’s not a value judgement, it’s a personal preference.

Your Excellency @sandalphonsgoldteeth, I have brought you the whitest and softest towels to dry your tears. There is no need to cry anymore with these towels on hand.

2. I have invited this angelic creature to keep you company:

Or this one, if you prefer ...

Dear Highnesses of @the-archangel-squad,

I would like to give you a brief report on the fulfilment of my duties regarding the esteemed angelic highness @sandalphonsgoldteeth.

As I am sure you have noticed yourselves, Sandalphon has stopped crying for some time now, which I assume is due to the aforementioned gifts to him, as well as his now well-stocked library of pornographic spiritual books, his now well-filled wardrobe of expensive and fashionable designer suits, his personal bus with two personal drivers ...

as well as this young and pious angel who reads to him every day from a book of his choice from his library.

I have the feeling that my work is done.

Therefore I turn to you in all reverence to humbly request your permission to take up another position.

I've been training on the catwalk every day, but I'm still missing that last little bit for a perfect angelic walk. That's why I'm humbly applying for an internship at @archangelcrowliel to learn the final touches.

In the hope that my request will be granted ...

She places a small white sound system in the corner of the huge white halls and snaps her finger to make it play: Walk Walk Fashion Baby. Then she assumes her position ...

right next to @archangelcrowliel. He smiles at her:

Your Excellency @sandalphonsgoldteeth, I have brought you the whitest and softest towels to dry your tears. There is no need to cry anymore with these towels on hand.

2. I have invited this angelic creature to keep you company:

Or this one, if you prefer ...

Dear Highnesses of @the-archangel-squad,

I would like to give you a brief report on the fulfilment of my duties regarding the esteemed angelic highness @sandalphonsgoldteeth.

As I am sure you have noticed yourselves, Sandalphon has stopped crying for some time now, which I assume is due to the aforementioned gifts to him, as well as his now well-stocked library of pornographic spiritual books, his now well-filled wardrobe of expensive and fashionable designer suits, his personal bus with two personal drivers ...

as well as this young and pious angel who reads to him every day from a book of his choice from his library.

I have the feeling that my work is done.

Therefore I turn to you in all reverence to humbly request your permission to take up another position.

I've been training on the catwalk every day, but I'm still missing that last little bit for a perfect angelic walk. That's why I'm humbly applying for an internship at @archangelcrowliel to learn the final touches.

In the hope that my request will be granted ...

She places a small white sound system in the corner of the huge white halls and snaps her finger to make it play: Walk Walk Fashion Baby. Then she assumes her position ...

right next to @archangelcrowliel. He smiles at her:

I believe to have gotten a report which waz not meant for my departmentz az it waz adrezzed to prickz I'd rather not mention.

Your Malificence,

yes, that is correct. I included your name as the recipient of a blind carbon copy because I wanted to keep you informed.

However, I will heed your warning and submit two separate reports in the future. It's safer that way. (Also I doubt that I will stay very much longer in my current position up there ...)

Reverently,

Do make zure not to be dizcovered for however long you'll be there, the dizcorporation queue down here iz quite long and it wouldn't be efficient if it were to be longer.

I believe to have gotten a report which waz not meant for my departmentz az it waz adrezzed to prickz I'd rather not mention.

Your Malificence,

yes, that is correct. I included your name as the recipient of a blind carbon copy because I wanted to keep you informed.

However, I will heed your warning and submit two separate reports in the future. It's safer that way. (Also I doubt that I will stay very much longer in my current position up there ...)

Reverently,

Do make zure not to be dizcovered for however long you'll be there, the dizcorporation queue down here iz quite long and it wouldn't be efficient if it were to be longer.