This is genuinely so endearing like they really sat him down in a kindergarten class and taught him to read...and picked out the book based on his special interest ... <3
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This is genuinely so endearing like they really sat him down in a kindergarten class and taught him to read...and picked out the book based on his special interest ... <3

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Lemon juice. For those days when you had a bad day and you say, I think Iâll make it a little worse.
when I say "you should kill him" and people look at me weird
Just bought a fallen empire off temu
my divorce themed wedding

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This was my 50th attack, so I wanted to do something big!
Needs a rewatch BADLY
For real?
Good news. we can finally Be Bees. this isn't your world, but we can Be Bees. this is Good news. you can Be a Bee. you'll live like a Bee. A Pet. A pet? A Pet. Mark, this is Good news. You'll live. for 30 years. THIS IS INSANE

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look at this thang
[x]
well, time to die
RISE FROM THE ASHES, DARK ONE
I think a lot of autistic taking-things-literally goes under the radar because what the diagnostic tests and shit ask about is not what that generally looks like in an adult and often not in kids either and much more importantly itâs not what generally actually causes problems in real life instead of being irritating for caretakers or funny to bullies or easy to diagnose
I have absolutely no issues understanding metaphors or idioms. When someone says their heart is on their sleeve they mean theyâre emotionally expressive and openly display their feelings, not that they have a chunk of cardiac tissue on their shirt. I very rarely have issues with sarcasm. I sometimes have issues telling when someone whoâs said something mean is about to say âjust kiddingâ, but tbh I think thatâs more on them than me.
BUT
My grandmother asked me âDo you know when the trash was taken out last?â and I said âI think Eliot took it out yesterdayâ and a few hours later she yelled at me for ânot taking out the trash when I asked you toâ and I was like???? You didnât ask me????
I dread filling out forms and am crap at filling out diagnostic tests or personality quizzes because there are always questions I donât know the exact answers to (how am I supposed to know what day I got dental surgery seven years ago?) or donât understand exactly what theyâre asking or the wordingâs unclear and they could mean this or the wording says this but Iâm pretty sure what they actually meant was that and should I answer what they said or what they meant, and how does everyone else just whip through the form? Does everyone else remember the day they got dental surgery seven years ago? Does everyone else somehow understand all these questions?
I get tangled up by bureaucracy because the rules on the website say that for this you need that and for that you need the other and for the other you need something else for which you need the first thing, and I go in circles for hours or days or weeks or months or years because their stated rules say there is no way to get what I need, and when I talk to somebody else theyâre like âjust call them?â and Iâm like âhow could that help? the rules say that what Iâm trying to do is impossibleâ
And all of that? Thatâs how âtaking things literallyâ ACTUALLY affects your life as an adult. Itâs not âhaha you think âgetting under your skinâ means parasitesâ. Itâs âyou have real difficulty functioning in the world because everyone else is conveying things through implication and assuming that you know that rules are flexible and questions are approximate and youâre supposed to lie on job applications and âitâs requiredâ means âitâs preferredâ, and you donâtâ.
Do you think the Jack of all trades and the master of one explored each others bodies
death note is a metaphor for autism because like half the series is about scenarios such as: i will die if i can't remember the most normal human response to 'do you want to play tennis,' a conversational feat that is entirely beyond me.
this is just what a normal conversation with autism feels like

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Wish i was british so i could cheekily pop in to Tescos. But theres no such thing as that here..here in America we're lucky just to toil, to scrape our worthless barely breathing forms against the vast bowels of the machine, an approximation of sub-life, and utterly unknown to the pleasures of the meal deal
kitty need blunt NOW
Baby needs smoko