themedis

and so my first ever "experiment" with masturbation was. slapping my dick with a ruler. and when that felt good. my first ever way of masturbating was. stacking heavy books on my penis. and then hitting the top book. so that the force was distributed down the series of books. into my penis. and of COURSE it didnt work i was punching books into my dick but it laid a strong foundation for a great gooning career . hey everyone PLEASE pretend you didnt read this post

happy man milk monday

Thought I’d add this that I’ve had stashed for years

The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes

(source)

gays, home of sexuals, lgbtqs, help me redesign my bedroom because i cant live like this anymore. make suggestions & i will move items accordingly (everything in purple is stuff i can move). only requirement is that my bed is in some corner bc if it doesn’t touch two walls ill die

great ! are there other suggestions that arent this !

bitches be sucking farts there

something tells me Skunks Georg

“If I have to hear one more word about lightsabers being penis envy you are going to be one with the Force immediately.”

There is absolutely no way an organization that large doesn’t have factions that understand the force differently–my 15-person philosophy class couldn’t agree on a single thing we read all term.

The room immediately turns into chaos.

#Obi wan was pissed that his past presentation on Jedi/Mandalorian cultural parallelism was laughed out#so he put Anakin up to it just to send the room into a tailspin#Anakin LOVED it#he got to sword fight an eighty year old snake#and force chuck a dude into a wall#he officially never misses one of these anymore#every year he just goes up and says the most controversial thing he can to get the room to riot#the year after its ‘the more midichlorians you have the closer you are to the force’#he almost got stabbed by an old monk from the far side of dantooine#for that one#the council keeps letting him speak because it’s way less embarrassing to blame the fights on Skywalker#than admit everyone at an academic conference wants to murder each other#they did get a Nightsister to come to the conference btw#it was very enlightening and everyone liked her#the problem was that Anakin’s presentation that year was#‘master/student bonds are no different than lovers bonds in the force’#and#the Nightsister took REAL offense to that#Anakin is like 30% sure he got cursed#totally worth it for the look on Obi-Wan’s face tho#the Nightsister came back the next year#she brought friends!#they’re not sure if she did that because they were interested in the academics or if she wanted backup to beat the shit out of Anakin#but the council likes both cases#so they see this as an absolute win!

the truth is that he was never actually banned, he’s just been saying it so he doesn’t have to go. he started all the rumors himself

“I know this because the Force told me so” was Qui-Gon, who uses this as his regular excuse for everything, in this case, as an excuse to be a little shit-stirrer.