M-M

Also like in general, the political climate being more left when it's the 2020's in my dr. As a mutant, I will fucking love the government my country will have, even tho I won't live there because I'll be a part of the X-men and live in the states. But like the idea is nice, knowing that my government knows that mutants aren't as dangerous as people who want to fear monger make it seem and actually look at the facts. Like fuck. I can't wait to grow up in that reality and become old enough to experience it. Hope.

I love my powers. They are really fucking cool. Being a mutant is so fucking amazing, I had to have 3 X-men dr's and counting.

I remember being 8 or 9 and genuinely believing that I could turn into a mermaid if I just did a spell or a routine I found in a magazine that someone made on gsm. My old friends telling me how they would rule their own worlds when they slept, when I was like 10 or 11, me trying so hard to have my own world, affirming. Seeing those old forum posts about people who were so in tune with an element that they could control it, like controlling the weather, letting nature guide you to somewhere that you never knew existed even after living in that area for years, and me trying so hard to do it myself. And I believed in every single one of those things. That people could genuinely do those things, and I wanted to be a part of it. Maybe people were lying, but I am choosing to believe that those things were real experiences. I am choosing to believe that I can do it, just like I did when I was a child. And this time I am not giving up on it.

You get to experience so many amazing experiences, just because shifting found you, took your hand and told you that you have things to experience. And you decided to take it. You didn't say, "I don't believe in this", you accepted it just like if you were the chosen one in some type of fantasy series. Think of all the muggleborns who got their Hogwarts letter but never went to Hogwarts, how much they missed out on. Or imagine what if your favorite superhero had never chosen to become a superhero, or had quit the moment it was hard. Don't give up, I'm telling you, your life will be so much more beautiful because you didn't.

I'm ready to restart! Aaaah! It will be awesome, I will experience so many amazing things and I can't wait. I'm literally experiencing the same feeling I did when I first discovered shifting. That motivation, that excitement! Fuck yeah!

It will be a surreal feeling, but I can't wait. I can't wait to have hundreds of lifetimes worth of birthdays with people who care about me.. I can't wait for that "I made it out of that shit reality" moment.

But at least I'll have it in all of my drs, and I considering I'm permashifting eventually, it won't matter that I can't use it here.

I pray that death will not be the end that atheists believe it will be, nor that I will just end up somewhere where I never learned about shifting like heaven or hell. I hope that if I go through with my plan before I shift, the multiverse is kind enough to give me another go at it. One where it shifting comes quickly and is everything I ever hoped for..

My sister took her own life almost 3 years ago and I am not sure if I should shift to a reality where she is alive. Ever since I started shifting, I have always scripted the same family that I have here, because I genuinely do not think that I could ask for a better sibling in any universe (and this is coming from someone with 4 older siblings, if we include her) and because I can not think of a universe where she isn't my older sister, and I do not want to. Despite her story being a tragedy and her death being the worst thing that happened to me here, if I had to do it all over again in this reality, I would. Because I would always want to be her little sister. But I'm scared that it will impact me a lot, shifting to a place where she is still here and then coming back here and remembering that in this reality, she is dead.