ur a ledge

‘The Eye of Sauron’ (during James’s Tolkien phase)

'Mount Doom’*

'Underneath the Dementor’s Hood’

'The Quidditch Pitch’ (e.g. ’S'later, I’m going to visit the Quidditch pitch.’)

'Kennilworthy Whisp’

'The Twilight Zone’ (when he came over to her house to watch reruns)

'Mordor’ (the return of the Tolkien phase)

'My Precious’*

'The Forbidden Forest’*

'The Sorting Twat’

'The Golden Snatch’

'Myrtle’ (e.g. 'I’m Boning Myrtle!’ 'Shut up, James.’)

'The Shrieking Shack’*

'Helga Hufflemuff’*

'Felix Felicis’ (because it’s where he gets lucky)

'Madam Cooch’

'The Quaf-hole’ ('Don’t chase the quaf-hole if you see the snatch.’)

'The Creamery’ ('No one is going to buy the cow when they can get milk for free’)

'Bloody Shangri-La’ (for when Lily is menstruating)

'Twat of Living Death’

'The Restricted Section’

'The Department of Mysteries’

'Dervish and Bangs’

'Pirate Slit’ ('Aye, I’m captain of your pirate slit.’)

'Va-jay-James’

I finally finished it I am going to shed a few proud tears now;__;

It was supposed to be a New Year present for my best friend, Masha, but I got a little carried away with my simple sketch and ended up with THIS so it took so much time and it’s closer to becoming a Christmas present now, hahaha (we celebrate it on 7th of January here);

anyway.. Happy beeeeeeeelated New Year for Masha and for all of you<3 Have some marauders who are having fun in Hogsmeade:3

I added a few close ups because it’s way too big.__.

remember when bludgers kept hitting Harry because he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Ginny? 

well i ran it through an AU. and all because some anon messaged me about girl!Harry and boy!Ginny.

bonus:

This is a twist on Skippy’s List which I wrote at 1 am and will probably be continued. [Read on AO3]

Not allowed to tell first years that the only way to get Peeves to stop annoying them is to serenade him with the Weird Sister’s song “I Want To Polter-Kiss You”

Not allowed to reenact the Barricade scene from Les Miserables in the Great Hall

Not allowed to reenact the Barricade scene from Les Miserables on Hogwarts grounds

Not allowed to build a shrine to Sirius Black’s hair

Not allowed to list Merlin as their legal guardian on their Hosgmeade permission form

Not allowed to list Merlin, Morgana, any Troll King, muggle Emperor or Abeforth Dumbledore as their legal guardian on their Hogsmeade permission form

Not allowed to walk in front of Professor McGonagall throwing roses and confetti

The following reasons are not valid reasons to banish first years from the Gryffindor common room (especially as they don’t have the authority to banish anyone from the common room): being obnoxious, annoying, too short, loud, irritating, a defender of the Slytherin kind, a midget, a reminder of their favourite deceased relative, scrappy, unexpectedly better than Peter Pettigrew at gobstones

Must not wear eye patches in commemoration of any dead pirate

Even if the dead pirate is apparently a recently deceased relative

Not allowed to physically remove anyone from the best seats in the Gryffindor common room

Not allowed to reserve seats in the Gryffindor common room

Not allowed to threaten anyone sat in their desired seat with “death if you don’t move in the next two seconds”

Mustn’t talk about failed executions in front of Nearly Headless Nick

Should not discuss the likelihood of a giant invasion in earshot of first and second years

Not allowed to magically glue a beret to the caretaker’s cat’s head

Not allowed to magically glue a beret to the caretaker’s head

Not allowed to use the prefect bathroom for activities aside from washing

Not allowed to label ingredients in the Potion’s supply closet as “deadly weapons of war”

Not allowed to teach students rude Latin phrases under the pretence of them being spells

Not allowed to release nifflers into the great hall during the Valentine’s Day feast

Should not be allowed within ten feet of any niffler which may be stolen and used to cause havoc in the school

Not allowed to pay lost bets against Ravenclaws with leprechaun gold

Must never charm the suits of armour to sing “Mamma Mia” when Professor Slughorn walks past them

Even if Professor Slughorn doesn’t mind

Must not forge letters from the Minister for Magic to Dumbledore expressing their deepest adoration for his beard

Not allowed to replace the toad in the hole’s at the Slytherin table with actual toads in yorkshire puddings

Not allowed to sing potentially offending lyrics at quidditch matches

Not allowed to sing potentially offending lyrics at quidditch matches especially when Remus Lupin is conducting

Not allowed to wear mourning veils during any external examinations

Must not turn all desks and chairs away from the front of the classroom for a whole History of Magic lesson just to see if Professor Binns notices anything

Must not turn all desks and chairs away from the front of the classroom for any amount of time during a History of Magic lesson just to see if Professor Binns notices anything

They are not the Supreme Leaders of Hogwarts

Not allowed to start a political campaign to have James Potter replace Professor Dumbledore as Headmaster

Not allowed to transfigure fellow students into any reptiles

Must never challenge Professor McGonagall to a duel at dawn (Note: She will win.)

They should not appoint first years as their minions and bribe them to be their slaves for the day

The Grande Headmaster is not a real position of or with any authority and does not outrank Headmaster Dumbledore and Sirius Black is not The Grande Headmaster

Not allowed to give detentions to “students for being in my way”, “breathing too loudly”, “existing”, “blinking five times in ten second”, “walking in front of me”, “thinking you were more fabulous than Sirius Black”

Only Remus Lupin and James Potter can give detentions and deduct house points

Sirius Black cannot expel anyone from Hogwarts

Neither can Peter Pettigrew, James Potter or Remus Lupin

Using “but it’s my time of the month” as an excuse to get out of a detention is neither a) plausible or b) allowed

Not allowed to replace the Slytherin dining table’s benches with high chairs

Not allowed to enter the Restricted Section with a permission slip signed by their “legal guardian” (see 5&6)

Not allowed to ask Dumbledore if he’s really Gandalf in disguise

Not allowed to levitate students

Not allowed to invite Professor Slughorn to dinner at Madame Puddifoot’s for his birthday, Christmas and Valentine’s Day

Not allowed to charm people’s hair blue

Not allowed to play strip poker, strip roulette, strip chess, strip Exploding Snap, strip gobstones, strip marbles, strip spoons in the Gryffindor common room

Not allowed to make bets about whether or not Hagrid is hiding a dragon in the Forbidden Forest

Not allowed to bring pornographic magazines to Muggle Studies as an example of “fine Muggle literature”

Not allowed to change the lyrics of Hogwart’s school song

Not allowed to tell visiting students from other wizarding schools that the only way to be allowed entrance to the Great Hall is to perform a ritual involving pouring water from the Black Lake over their head and descending from the stairs into the Entrance Hall in a white nightgown

Not allowed to call Professor McGonagall any of the following names: Minnie, McGee, Scottie, Nev, Mum, Doll, PILF (Note: The Marauders only ever called McGonagall one of these - Minnie - to her face once and after the ensuing wrath they decided the other nicknames would be best kept for private discussions)

Not allowed to camp outside the staff room claiming they’re being neglected by the parental figures

Not allowed to call Dumbledore “dad”, McGonagall “mum, Slughorn “uncle Slug,” Madame Pomfrey “auntie Pommers”

When the Ministry of Magic visits, wearing ceremonial dress robes is not the appropriate clothing

Not allowed to trade younger students amongst houses

Never ever ever ever ever ever ever show up drunk to Transfiguration

Successful coups are not allowed

Not allowed to decorate the entire school with pictures of Sirius Black on his birthday, his half-birthday, his quatre-birthday, the anniversary of his first word, the anniversary of his first steps, the anniversary of his first swear word or when James Potter wants to let the world know just how much he appreciates his best mate

Not allowed to challenge anyone to a muggle duel at dawn

Rat intestines, newt tails, raven wings (all animal parts) used as potions ingredients do not need ceremonial burials in the Hogwarts grounds

Or outside of the Hogwarts grounds

Not allowed to call Sirius Black, “Potter’s mistress”

Not allowed to transfigure first years feet and call them Hobbits

There’s no such thing as Merlin’s Sacrificial Ritual

Do not make a fake map and treasure trail which claims to lead to Rowena Ravenclaw’s long lost diadem and give it to younger students when it actually leads to the Hogs Head

Not allowed to order everyone to call them by their true names of Romeo, Mercutio, Tybalt and Lady Montague

The entrance hall is not an appropriate place to practice interpretive dance

Not allowed to start an interpretive dance class

Not even if Dumbledore volunteers to help teach it

Not allowed to make twenty minute toasts every night before dinner

Not allowed to paint murals of themselves in the Slytherin common room

James Potter is not allowed to “channel his inner Enjolras” on top of the Astronomy tower

The quidditch pitch is not to be used for hosting a banquet on the night of the Summer solstice

Not allowed to refer to Lily Evans as carrots, Lilykins, Lilyflower, Gollum, Ms Bennet, Doll, Kindred Spirit, Spawn of Morgana, Pistol, Queen of All Things Wonderful, Jesus, Aphrodite, Love of Our Meagre Lives

Not allowed to commission portraits of themselves and sit for them during lessons, in the Great Hall, in Dumbledore’s office, in the Girl’s toilets

Not allowed to introduce new awards just so they can present Peter Pettigrew with a trophy for “being a jolly good, spiffing, awfully excellent gentleman”

Convincing first years to try and use the whomping willow’s branches as a skipping rope is not allowed

Not allowed to start a cat shelter on Hogwarts ground

Not allowed to run a betting shop from their dorm room

A whole school vote on a professor’s decision is not necessary

The loss of Remus Lupin’s favourite pillow from the common room does not require a school wise “missing persons” search with speeches, pamphlets, posters, or appeals

Wearing tassels at the tip of the hat is not appropriate schoolwear

Neither is full Roman military dress, muggle disco outfits, bridal gowns or loincloths

Not allowed to purposefully try and piss off a Hufflepuff whose best friend is a Slytherin just to see if it’s true that Slytherins can turn into snakes if someone annoys them

Not allowed to bribe anyone with money, lap dances, a smile from Lily Evans, Sirius’ Black’s mouth, a million house points, muggle explosives, inflatable dragons and/or illegally bred pixies

Not allowed to reenact Tales Of the Beedle and the Bard anywhere within a fifteen mile radius of the Hogwart’s grounds

Not allowed to erect a throne and host a coronation for James Potter during which his head boy badge is pinned to his robes

Not allowed to sing nursery rhymes to Slytherins

They mustn’t release weekly issues of a Hogwarts gossip rag (and generate income from it)

Not allowed to send 436 individually wrapped dungbombs to the caretaker on his birthday

During Divination they may not predict the untimely demise of the Divination teacher with surprising accuracy

Not allowed to propose to the gargoyle outside Dumbledore’s office

Not allowed to start a new religion just to take vows of silence

Not allowed to demand a lawyer every time they are put in detention or lose house points

Not allowed to start a republic

James Potter is not allowed to publicly snog Lily Evans for fear of scaring all other residents of Hogwarts to death (Note: this rule had to be made after repeated incursions of everyone’s appropriate intimacy levels and it was never able to be enforced and was repeatedly, unabashedly and relentlessly broken)

The clever ‘Always lock up your guns’ film I posted a few months ago is back with an eye catching print campaign. If they find it, they’ll play with it

But. You guys. Harry was born during a war against Voldemort, who had no qualms killing infants, and who certainly had no problem killing the young people Harry’s parents’ age.

Harry’s year is unusually small, and maybe Ginny’s is, too. Things picked up again after the war, when there wasn’t that threat of death hanging over everyone’s heads and taking young soldiers away from their spouses or significant others. And it really didn’t start until the Marauders were adults or almost adults, so… it shouldn’t have been an issue shortly beforehand, either.

Harry’s year is 40 students, instead of the expected hundred-odd, because of Voldemort. “The” girls’ dorm, and “the” boys’ dorm, are the only two dorms used by students in Harry’s year, but of course there are closed-off rooms, maybe ones that have disappeared because they don’t exist unless they’re needed. You know those empty, unused classrooms that I seem to recall hearing mention of once or twice? They’re for splitting classes that would be too big. But that’s not needed for Harry’s year. (It might be needed for the year below Ginny’s, though.)

Imagine being a teacher, or one of the older students. You’ve seen sortings before— ones with a hundred kids, or two hundred, and that’s what you’re used to.

Then you sit down, and watch the children file in for a Sorting. And there are forty of them. And you count back in your head and realize— these are the children conceived during the war. And this year is small. And so is the next. And the next.

there is only two people on this earth that make those moves work for them

Beyonce

First-Name-Basis: A Oneshot

-

Sirius’ heart thundered against his chest.

He was facing the door to Professor McGonagall’s office.

"Go on, mate," Remus whispered, "It’ll be alright."

"The worst she can do is say ‘no’," Peter pointed out.

"There’s no reason to be afraid," James bracingly said, "It’s just Professor McGonagall!"

"Just Professor McGonagall?"

The group of eleven-year-olds meekly spun around.

Professor McGonagall was standing behind them, eyebrows raised.

Evidently, she hadn’t been in the office after all.

"Hi, Professor," Sirius weakly said, "Err…can I talk to you?"

"Of course."

She opened her door and gestured for him to follow.

"Good luck, mate," James quietly said.

Sirius took a deep breath and entered the office, closing the door after him. Professor McGonagall instructed him to sit and he did so. She sat on the opposite side of the desk and, surprisingly, offered him a chocolate biscuit.

He accepted, feeling considerably better.

"Now then, Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall crisply said, "What did you want to tell me?"

"Actually, that’s just it," Sirius admitted.

"What is?"

He hesitated and stammered, “Could you…err…could you…?”

"Yes."

"Could you call me ‘Sirius’?"

Professor McGonagall gave a start and said, “Excuse me?”

"It’s just…that’s my name…"

"I know that it’s your given name," Professor McGonagall replied, "However, it is traditional for professors to refer to their students by their surname."

"Yeah, I know," Sirius quickly said, "But…well…I’ve never really been one for tradition."

She folded her hands and asked, “Other than skewing tradition, is there a particular reason why you want me to refer to you by your given name?”

"Well…" Sirius hesitantly said, "It’s just…my parents and I don’t exactly see eye-to-eye…and…I’ve realized…that…well…I don’t really like being a Black. Unfortunately, I can’t change my last name until I’m seventeen. But, in the meantime, I’d like to ensure that I’m not constantly reminded of it."

Professor McGonagall stared at him for quite some time.

At long last, she said, “Very well. I believe that we can skew tradition just this once.”

Sirius grinned and cried, “Thanks, Professor!”

"You’re welcome, Sirius."

His grin turned into a smirk and he asked, “Can I call you Minerva?”

Eventually, he took a break from his chanting—though the others, including (rather to Lily’s surprise) Donna and Marlene, continued on—and turned to Lily long enough to ask: “What’s it like… Hogwarts?” He had been watching the words overhead, too, and was apparently taken captive by the last one.

Lily raised her eyebrows. “It’s… brilliant. Didn’t you ever go?”

"I went," said Sam. "Got sorted into Hufflepuff, though, and as far as Mum was concerned, that practically made me a squib. So, she decided enough was enough and brought me home."

"Oh…"

"It was years ago," Sam went on, grinning. "I reckon I’ve moved on. But all the same, I wonder how it must be to… to always be around people one’s own age."