Muda Nox @muda-nox - Tumblr Blog

Tempest

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cowboyjoshdun

really love keeping up with my mutuals through their little tags and vent posts. getting updates on how they’re doing is something like: glad to know your job at the library is going well. i’m sorry you haven’t gotten that raise. glad your finals went well. i’m sorry your teacher is so unhelpful. glad your tv show got renewed. i’m sorry they killed your favorite character. glad that you scored tickets to see your favorite artist. i’m sorry they aren’t touring near you at all. glad your cat is doing well. i’m sorry your mom is sick again. glad you’re feeling better now that it’s your favorite season. i’m sorry your meds aren’t working. glad you’re married now. i’m sorry you have to step back for your mental health. glad you’re still here. i’m sorry life is so hard. glad you’re alive, i hope things get easier for you soon

aphel1on

"character doing a c+ job of breaking the cycle of abuse" is such a crunchy dynamic forever. what if i'm giving my all to give you a better life than i had and i'm succeeding but "better" just isn't quite enough. what if my blind spots and deeply ingrained trauma and inexperience mean that you will be indelibly scarred by me despite my best efforts. what if my abuser's influence still bleeds through at times because i know nothing else. what if i go so far in the opposite direction to avoid it that i hurt you in ways i couldn't have anticipated. what if my undeniable love and unforgivable shortcomings came part and parcel with each other. what if your love and gratitude and resentment and pain came part and parcel too. what if we both knew you deserved better but i was all you had. what if we had to move forward and reckon with that. what then

aphel1on

late poem to my father by sharon olds. if you even care

aphel1on

yeah

#oh this fucked me so well #now that's what I'm talking about #a guy wrenching tragedy

ensalada-de-lengua-de-pajaritos

crabs-and-bongos

nadjasnandor

consuming media like

#mudacore

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Having to deal with discomfort while traumatized plus dealing with heavy dissociation as a life-long coping mechanism is SO annoying because like, I know something's up, I know there is *something wrong* but hell forbid I actually *know* what that something is.

Yes, I am feeling off mentally/emotionally/physically, no I don't know why and sitting my self trying to figure it out is suuuch a drag.

But I guess I have no choice, fuck.

#muda life #recovery is not funsiesss #i liked it better when i dissociated and didn't have to pay attention to all the red alarms in my body/mind #but noooo now we have to actually pay attention to them >:/#so annoying

sixft

#i dont even know how to tag this

bisexualcrabking-deactivated202

*writing in my diary using a glitter gel pen* I'm losing my sense of humanity

boringangel

Korina Wray

rohgoreihgiorefdhgirehgreihg-de

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elainiisms

#Jimmy and Eric

I found the poem I mentioned!

"And when you grind your teeth and arch your back.

When you thrust your hips and clasp your hands.

Do you think of me every now and then?

When you close your eyes and don't look at her?

- Do you?"

This was part of a longer poem I wrote but I can't remember where I put the rest of it. I gotta make like an archive or some shit

#my stuff #muda life

notahorseindisguise

hey, sex pervert question: do you ever think about me even when im not present

#I had a poem that went sorta like that #I cannot remember the whole thing #but it ended in something like #“Do you think of me every now and then when you close your eyes and don't look at her?”#in the poem they were fucking #I must clarify this

yomoi

I made these keychains to share my "Bible" with everyone.

yomoi

All hand-sewn

#this is SO amazing!!!#you nailed the details it's incredible #congrats on such amazing work!!#jthm

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Oww this is so cute but it's so hard to do a self rec x3

I don't even know if I have enough fics published o,o Most of my stuff is privately published and shared. I don't think I can do 5 but I think I can do 3.

1.- The most recent one. Prelude #1 - Because I think I did a good work with a word limit.

2.- Dots - It's the sweetest, softest thing I've done (that I have not shared privately), it touched my heartstrings and it was a gift for my dear Fenris.

3.- Stay with me - This is one of my favs ever because we get all that I love, that is ghosts and dubious porn. Also it was a gift for my dear friend Val :3

Thank you for your ask Soup <3 This was fun to do ^^

#muda answers

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