Mad Woman Blinking

Beloved, struggling, ardent friends: we have reached the cycle of the year when love feels heavier, desire sharper, loss more stark. [...]we are all developing night vision—seeing what has been changing and moving and growing and dying in the hidden parts of our hearts and minds.

The reality is that all work is political. Work that reinforces the status quo is just as political as work that challenges it.

fall is leaves gone crisp like memories left processed and packaged and stored away for spring cleaning is waking up in the dark meaning waking up alone meaning waking up to a world unseen outside between a window and a shut door is warmth in mugs and not in hands is blankets and not arms is extra sweaters like a fortitude against frost is the brief bite in lungs of loneliness is celebrating the last of what was color and preparing for winter.

Morning is a stare down between me and the empty space of all those I am not waking up next to / an undecided sadness between the sun and the clouds and the time it takes to implode a soul before the makeup gets put on / intentions unrealized clutter the floor / and in my closet handfuls of plans never gotten around to stack up and stale in their boxes / I do not open the lids for fear of disintegration / or inhalation of the dust // and though I want a room made of more than memories / the longer I collect these instant coffee mornings / the more I know the shadows on the walls / and that rearranging the furniture will not fix the flow of anything.

british people: better stop off at the next motorway services since i've been driving for 3 hours, which is 1 hour more than the highway code recommends!!