So I think I need to leave here. I've been thinking about it for a while now and I just think it's the best option. I'm really unwell. I have been for quite some time. My mental state is so warped from what it once was. I'm struggling adjusting to the life my last host threw me into so hard. She broke so many of her relationships and hurt so many people, us most of all and then absconded to a dark corner of my mind to hide away in and she won't even let me see what she did still.
I'm trying to be kind to her. To us, during this time. I'm trying to push us into new things and leave the house more and survive in the real world and get caught up on any of the pile of things that she left behind. I'm trying to spend time with her. It's not all easy. Leaving the house is still a really big task and the panic attacks have been frequent, but I'm trying my best still. For us.
Anyway I'm probably rambling here. Long story short is, a lot of what I have curated to see just leaves me sadder more often than not. Sexy posts, leaving me longing for a touch or posts that make me spiral into fits of depression and/or anxiety. I don't know. I'm just thinking it's time to distract my brain with this. Maybe I'll be back. But for now, I need to go. If anyone needs me you probably know how to reach me. Thank you and have a great day.
