better luck next time

I’m going to make a new font called Times New Bastard

It’s Times New Roman but every seventh letter is jarringly sans serif

With one line you activated every bone in my body and all of them are in attack mode

the frequency of needing to food shop because you eat food and therefore deplete what you previously bought and need to restock…………being an adult is a nightmare

i bought bananas LAST week and you’re telling me because i ATE them i need to buy bananas again THIS week?????? we live in a hellscape.

“when you find the right person you’ll change your mind about having kids” WRONG 👎❌ the right person doesn’t want kids either

This is kinda ominous ngl

Gotta compliment him on his reflexes. No hesitation. Just described exactly what he was seeing, regardless of what it was.

[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]

I got a virus from that screenshot of Limewire

I miss my guy paperclip

I hate you all for this 

I heard this post.

I highkey feel attacked

if you ever had to submit homework on a floppy disk, here ya go

LOAD"*“,8,1

If I were Zelensky I would be dead because I would have punched that motherfucker and been shot by the secret service. So it's good I'm not in charge of securing aid to Ukraine.

when i say i’m from ukraine, people assume i live somewhere else now. when i say i live in ukraine, they assume i’m somehow immune to war, and there’s a logical division between a ukrainian they chat with on discord and a ukrainian on the news. bitches my yaoi is written from the bomb shelter

president zelensky is a stronger man than me because if two ignorant and deluded men like trump and vance started demanding i say please and thank you and calling me disrespectful like im a naughty child instead of a very traumatised and frustrated man trying to save his country from putin id have put them both in the ground with a single fucking punch