Mr. Flynn RHS

Anyone who's been paying attention to social media has seen the hashtag #yesallwomen, arriving shortly after the latest mass shooting incident. This movement has spawned countless posts by women throughout the country sharing stories of times in which they experienced misogynistic treatment. This seems to have more momentum than most social media movements (remember Kony2012?), which is a welcome development. I often raise questions of misogyny and double standards in my class, so I'm hopeful that this terrible event will lead to a national conversation on an important topic.

Both on Facebook and in person, I have heard women close to me share experiences. For someone who believes in gender equality and who works with many female students, these conversations serve to open my eyes to the prevalence of this problem.

I had these recent events in mind when I noticed an advertisement on my Facebook feed today for an app called Facetune, which is described by the ad copy as a "Fun and powerful portrait editor which allows you to achieve magazine-style results!" At first glance this might seem like a bit of harmless fun, but I don't see it that way.

Both women and men (though women moreso) see magazine cover after magazine cover featuring unattainable standards of beauty. Models, actresses, the women pointed to as the paragons of the female form are heavily retouched, to hide imperfections. The lesson young women are shown is that imperfections are something to be changed, not the things that make us interesting.

Most days, people would be glad to hear the high school they attended mentioned in the news. Today, however, I heard that the school where I spent four years was the scene of a terrible crime. By now, you've likely heard of the fatal stabbing of a 16-year-old girl at Jonathan Law High School.

Today, just like at our school, was to be junior prom. Her junior prom. 

Details are still sketchy at this point, and I see no reason to engage in guessing games about whether the crime was planned or spontaneous. I'm sure rumors will fly, but I've found that listening to them is a bad idea. 

Over the year, I've tried to teach you lessons outside of how to use a comma properly, or why writing "in conclusion" in an essay is meaningless. Those all apply here: Live life to the fullest. Never miss a chance to tell people you love them. Stand up for what is right. Protect those who need it. Offer help whenever possible. 

But when I read the articles about this horrific story, another lesson comes to mind. We often see students using social media to bully each other. We always act like it's something with your generation. But it's not.

Reading the comments on the articles today, many adults are using this tragedy to promote their political agenda. Others are wildly casting blame, in a situation where very few people have the full story. I can't even imagine what Facebook and Twitter are like in the social network of the high school.

In class the other day I mentioned the young man in our area who was arrested for attempting a series of robberies. Those are acts of desperation, of a person who feels he has no other options. The comments on those articles were full of people who said the nastiest things about him, with clearly no knowledge of the full story.

I don't have it either, so I don't pretend to have an opinion.

The most important human characteristic one can have is empathy: the ability to imagine the feelings of others. Often, we read stories about politicians changing their mind on gay marriage because they learn their family members are gay. Why couldn't they have imagined how they would have felt before they had to actually feel? 

My hometown needs to heal. They don't need every internet detective and amateur political pundit using this horrible event as a pretense to further their agenda. 

A young woman is dead. Her friends are heartbroken. A community is in shock. If something this horrible happened in our school, how would you feel when you read ignorant comments from people who could not care less about your school or community?

Think about that next time you decide to voice your opinion on a situation about which you know nothing. When you click "post," will your comment add to the pain people are feeling?

Last year I wrote an essay/post about the death of my uncle. If you missed it, you can read it here: 

This morning, I found out that my college roommate died. He had had a series of health problems over the years, which I found out from another college roommate with whom I've kept in touch over the years.

I lived in a 4 person suite, with two single rooms and a double. I shared the double with Jared. For the year I knew Jared, he was a pretty good guy. He knew an incredible amount about movies, which helped us bond.

After I left college, I lost contact with Jared. From what I've heard today, he had a lot of health problems. Like, enough that if they happened to a character in a movie, you wouldn't believe it.

I reconnected with him on Facebook a couple years ago. He made some comments on posts that I didn't really care for. Maybe he was trying to be funny, and I just didn't get it. Who knows. The short version is that I unfriended him on Facebook and lost all contact with him.

I'm not saying that my being friends with him would have made any difference. But what sucks is learning that he had a lot of problems and probably could have used more support. Maybe I could have helped. Maybe not.

But I'll never know, and that sucks. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is it's easy to shut people out of your life if your only contact is social media. Remember that when you go to college. It's easy, but that's not necessarily good.