✨S

I've gained almost 15kg since I was last online, and I refuse to let this be my new norm, I'm not updating stats or anything like that because I will make it back to where I was and I am forgiving myself for stuffing this up. It's not an end or be all. It will change.

I've noticed in myself that I feel more sluggish and it's not from bloating or being lazy, although that is a part of it. I've noticed that I always feel like this when I stop exercising on a regular basis.

Everything has been completely out of whack lately. My husbands broken both ankles, there was a period of about a month where I was stuck in crisis mode - I was doing all of the cooking, cleaning, looking after him. Work and uni won't slow down for that. I am incredibly grateful that my workplace is fantastic and I've been told to work flexibly from home as long as I need to.

I have my first uni exam today and I'm lowkey(read: highkey) terrified. I haven't had time to study. But this too will pass.

Hubby's now at the hospital for 6 weeks to recover from a surgery (as we have stairs at home).

I feel like I finally have the space to help myself heal from this experience and lose the weight again. But I want to do it properly, I know I've grown out of old toxic habits and I want to keep the new mentality that I don't have to only eat 500 cals a day. It is not sustainable for me.

If anyone has any good 15 min workouts they can do from home (no gym equipment sans two 3kg weights), I would love to see them.

Maybe it’s the environment change? I changed jobs last week and the last job was very much health oriented whereas the new one is fun oriented

Idk I feel like a fraud

I still want to be my ugw but just not as intensely as I needed it last month

It was the weirdest binge I’ve ever had, like I binged 700cals on peanut butter protein powder wtf do not recommend, stomach pain is intense

(Also omg tmi it made me 💩 for the first time in like a week)

At least I hit my protein goal

Thinking of going back to pole dancing for exercise but fck me it’s expensive, it’ll have to wait until after Christmas

I’ve been trying to convince him to be healthier this year and I’m starting to get really worried, he’s almost bmi 60 legitimately (like 161cm/150kg)

It just feels like nothing I do sinks in or is taken seriously and this is a bit dramatic but I think it’s fuelling my ed bc I can’t control what he does but I can control what I do, you know what I mean?

Just *sighs*, his boss gave him ingredients for two healthy meals today after the stint & he promised her that he’d have one tonight. She’s amazing I love her so much. But as soon as she left he looked at me and said I’m ordering Chinese

I did push back quite heavily and he ended up having the tuna salad but fck me man