haha funny @mousierat - Tumblr Blog

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catasters

d1s4strous

eighteen inch nails: i want to fuck you like two animals

roboco-san

sanlorenzoherald

good morning

sztupy

thatlittleegyptologist

You’ll need the link!

We got Musk off our land. Let's build a monument to remind him he's a sad little b**** with no friends.

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mephostophilis

are non brits aware of count binface.

mephostophilis

to give some entirely bizarre context, nigel farage (extreme cunt) has stepped down from his position as MP for clacton (due to a scandal where he received £5 million from a crypto billionaire that could have been laundered) only to run again so that he can prove people like him. and the only person running against him is count binface. who has been a staple of british politics for many years. and now the british press is forced to interview him seriously while he sits there with his binface.

mephostophilis

sorry. correction. laurence fox is also there

mephostophilis

major-trouble

There are now 10 named candidates in this riding, including Rob Pownall, who is an anti-fox hunting independent and also usually dresses up as a fox in protests.

Edit: forgot to mention that Luke Worley, also standing as an independent, is the only one of the candidates actually from Clacton.

inthefallofasparrow

The guy who dresses up as a fox has now withdrawn his nomination, condemning the by-election as a farce.

inthefallofasparrow

There are 34 candidates in the final list for this by-election, including:

Count Binface

Three members of the Monster Raving Looney Party: Howling Laud Hope, Nick the Incredible Flying Brick, and Baron Von Thunderclap

The Reform Party

The Reclaim Party

The Rejoin EU Party

The Forward Party

The Consensus Party

The Social Democratic Party

The British Democratic Party

Freedom Alliance

UK Voice

Everyone is God Party

and 20 independents, notably including: 'Joseph 77', 'Woke Trump Carrzee' and Daniel Pocock, a software engineer from Melbourne, Australia.

Ultimately choosing not to stand are:

All the actual major parties (apart from Reform UK)

Restore Britain

The Climate Party

Piers Corbin, climate change denier, anti-vaxxer, conspiracy theorist, and brother to former UK Labour leader, Jeremy Corbin

Television personalities, Luke Worley and Ollie Granger

Robert Pownall (the fox guy)

Lord Buckethead

Mr Fishfinger

inthefallofasparrow

The garbage won (predictably, given despite there being 34 candidates, he effectively ran unopposed), but was too scared to show his face, because he knows he'll just look like the ringleader at a circus of clowns. Bring on the parliamentary investigation, suspension and inevitable second by-election, I guess.

Count Binface got 27% of the vote, which is the actual story here.

funnyforsmile

capacity

Let’s all actually do this

They. They forgor

They were opened in AUGUST 2001. Oh my god. That's both hilarious and tragic.

predstrogen

this is a fucking futurama bit

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hungry-skeleton

Peace and love on reddit dot com

They. They forgor

They were opened in AUGUST 2001. Oh my god. That's both hilarious and tragic.

predstrogen

this is a fucking futurama bit

lil-grimlynn

VIETNAM HAS MOSS FROGS.

THEY LIVE IN MOSS.

THEY ARE CUTE AS FUCK!

Thank you for coming to my ted talk. Now lets go live the way of the moss frog.

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funny-tik-toks

greatness942

The wisest wizard meeting the strongest geomancer:

syekick-powers

extremely underrated subgenre of tumblr post: when someone makes a general statement about something, and another person offers a counter-statement that's just completely nonsensical, and the OP just agrees instantly even if it makes no sense at all

examples:

ajarofham

feliza-navidad

gay-mormon-wizard

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