my favorite thing about the "guy fieari doesn't swallow" controversy is that in every video i've seen on it there's someone in the comments going "actualy we were featured in diners drive in and dive episode 342 and he came to our restaurant and he definitely ate our food on and off camera like he cleared the plate and he's a really chill dude actualy" and it's like. does guy fieari know that he has a loyal army across America defending him AS WE SPEAK against the stupidest conspiracy theory i've ever heard of

guy fieri doesn’t what now?

You know, when I've remarked that a lot of the responses to my posts feel like people are just plucking out keywords they think they recognise based on the shape of them and replying to what they imagine the post says based on that, the possibility never occurred to me that this is actually how many American schools are currently teaching kids to read.

You’d think that once you finally get long term access to a cat and your yearning to have cat access is fulfilled that you’d become slightly less obsessed with seeing people’s cats but no if anything it gets worse

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

slipknot sounds like werewolf lube 

i can understand the trials but were the tribulations really necessary

cats always step precisely on your most sensitive areas when theyre crawling on you lovingly for cuddles. bladder dick ovaries boobs stomach bruise it doesnt matter. they have homing devices on their paws for the exact area you’re most tender at the moment and they put their full weight into that step. and sometimes they might keep their stance midstride so theyre just standing there forever forcing you to endure the pain. because they are simply too cute to get mad at

i have big plans to try and sew a little felt mouse and it might go badly and that’s okay