Illiterate And Proud

this is the fifth fucking geode ive crakced open whys its all meat

my liege those are crab rangoons

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

This is a worm? Or perhaps some sort of slug?

And it's gonna getcha

The road OUT of hell is also paved with good intentions. That’s just kind of the main road we’ve got

Yeah, eventually, you do reach Rome

quick update. I've decided to also blockade the strait of Hormuz. so when you talk about the status of the strait please say that it is blockaded by Iran, the USA, and Timothy. Thanks

they're casting jacob elordi as white pharaoh

Nobody ever talks about the other side of relationship struggles where someone's like, "Why are you mad at me," and you're like, "I'm not mad at you but you're hurting me with this behavior and we need to address it," and they're like, "Why are you so mad all the time," and you're like, "I'm not, but we do need to talk about this," and they're like, "Why are we on mad at me island," and you realize slowly and reluctantly that this is someone who is completely unable to actually change their harmful behaviors because they process any confrontation as anger

Oh yeah and this conversation usually ends with you genuinely getting mad at them because that's infuriating behavior, and then you've lost because you've just proven that you actually were mad at them (and secretly have been this whole time)

seeing people be like "why did sinners get a vfx nomination" bro there were TWO michael b jordans on that screen!!

That's not on vfx michael b jordan can just do that

beautiful strangers named extreme cold warning are texting me to make plans on friday

I need to get better burial relics

I do not care what happens to my corpse once I’ve snuffed it because that simply is not my problem on any level, but getting exhumed and having absolutely no kingly riches or cool ritual objects to speak of would be mortifying on a level that I would feel even in death