The Most Interesting Programmer in the World

He doesn't use other libraries, he gracefully allows them to participate.

A more civilized default value.

Truly the source of fine art.

I don't always write while loops, but when I do, I triple check to make sure it doesn't infinitely loop.

His cloud storage's sys admin is Lando Calrissian.

When companies want to release OS updates, they check his applications before release.

When he creates a website, services pay HIM to be able to host it.

He once hacked into the NSA mainframe using only a string, a plastic cup, and a TI-84.

When he gives you an over-the-shoulder code review, you put it on your resume.

His code is so robust that one of his accounting programs could solve world hunger.

He can write Java in Visual Basic.

Even when going through a tunnel, he has never lost a data packet.

If you ask him to consult on your project, it will ship 1 month early and under budget.

In all of his programs, his INT_MAX is inifinity.

His programs have earned billions in royalties without ever needing to apply for a patent.

I don't always write byte code, but when I do, I create an ASCII picture.

He has never been infected by a virus because everyone is afraid of his retaliation.