alright man

parents of cardassian children having to find new ways to hide calcium powder in their food bc growing babies NEED calcium but not everyone likes watching mom sprinkle it all over their plate of fish.

In American culture it is considered “bad luck” to leave the stove on when you’re not using it

hi what did everyone have for dinner (or lunch or breakfast if ur in a different time zone. whatever ur last meal was)

Do you think jesus ever got hard while those big buff roman soldiers were jostling him around and restraining him and putting a crown of thorns on his head. Sorry who said that

they hate me for my girlish whimsy and for my pathological degree of avoidant behavior

oh so when the reader knows something i don’t it’s “dramatic irony” but when i know something the reader doesn’t suddenly i’m an “unreliable narrator” 🙄

Me golf commentating: These are evil, evil men... they have done wicked deeds to be here today. There are no winners today-- Beautiful drive there. Right onto the fairway.