So Black to You, Perhaps. So Red to Me.

everyone eat more vegetables NOW!!! and mention the last vegetable you ate in the tags so we're all on the buddy system. I'll start: bok choy

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

you legally have to tell me if it's satire, or it's entrapment

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

Majoring in creative writing was a colossal mistake that ruined my life financially artistically socially and spiritually BUT i got to read aloud from My Immortal to a crowd of twenty horrified bystanders for academic credit. So I broke even

The assignment was to bring a story written by someone else and share the first paragraph with the class. Nowhere in the assignment description or the syllabus did it specify that the story had to be good

Hockey is sort of its own dead wife in Heated Rivalry

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

i think about this post like. once a week. and i mean that.