hand in unlovable hand

girls when a piece of theater can be performed a million different times a million different ways but the ending will always stay the same

Posting "dick from a stupid girl" on Tumblr dot com and then waking up to find out, in a great deal of relief, that I'm a young centipede on the forest floor hiding under leaf litter. my cannibalistic mother, a much larger, red, chitinous centipede, has stopped pursuing me. I am comfortable and my goal is now to grow big enough to eat mice

I was not in any sense prepared for that.

My coworker just completely killed me by casually throwing "you can lead a horse to water but if you drown it you have to walk back" into the conversation

10 years ago today

i’m like if a saint was also a faggot