remus lupin enthusiast

james: WHAT DO I WEAR

remus: clothes would be a good start mate

peter: oh and definitely some boxers

peter: unless you wanna go commando

sirius: jamie… please don’t turn up in your birthday suit to take my brother on a date

remus: reggie might like that though

sirius: don’t speak so daft remus

sirius: reggie doesn’t like naked bodies. he’s too young.

peter: he’s a year younger?

remus: sirius. question.

sirius: yes my moonage daydream?

remus: did you like the look of naked bodies last year when you were 17?

sirius, winking: i liked the sight of a naked you

peter: *walks out*

remus: padfoot.

sirius: oh come on. you practically gave me that one.

james: i mean you kinda did.

remus:

sirius:

remus:

sirius: so?

remus: i’m so done with you.

regulus: you couldn’t have just asked to shag him before erasing my existence?

sirius: sorry? who are you?

james: my boyfriend

sirius: HE’S WHAT

remus and regulus: *leave*

regulus: suck what exactly?

james: just suck at being a person.

regulus: well they’re probably right. but i think you have the wrong number...

james: remus ?

regulus: nope. regulus.

james: well…

james: wait what suck did you think i meant ????

regulus: idk james you’re texting me at 1am in the morning. what suck do you think i thought of.

remus: you sleep with a teddybear.

sirius: good news - we didn't have to wait around for a locksmith.

sirius: bad news - james finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my tragic backstory. i was too embarrassed to admit that the reason i learned it was because, at thirteen, i figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute guys.

sirius: good news- a cute guy saw me do it.

sirius: bad news - it was remus, and since he’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because i saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows i can ride a unicycle, he’ll never think i’m cool no matter what i do. it's too late. he knows.