Moon Kingdom

Ilya is drifting, he's a transient character. He doesn't see Boston as his home (he's never felt at ease in America, to paraphrase a book line) and we know how he feels about Russia. He's self-conscious of his language acquisition and his accent pretty deep into the story, even after he's more than proficient. While he supports and funds his family, he doesn't see them as his loved ones, more an obligation. Ilya doesn't ever consider revealing his vulnerabilities to his family because what would be the point? During the Russian monologue in the show, he can barely voice the desire for his father and brother to know him truly. Even his relationship with Svetlana in the show is standoffish, they're not sharing secrets under the covers. They talk about hockey and home and share knowing glances, but there isn't true emotional vulnerability there, except for maybe the scene in Russia, which is one of the first vulnerable moments Ilya has at all.

By contrast, Shane is a grounded character. He's playing hockey for Montreal, his mother's favorite team, and he speaks their language fluently (Hudson doesn't lol, but Shane does!). He's a national hero playing for his own country. He's close with his family, but more than that he sees them as an undeniable part of his life, people he loves and respects. He doesn't want to lie to them, even though he has to. While Ilya flies to Russia in the summer and then back to Boston for the season, Shane has built himself a Cottage close to his family so that he can spend his summers in comfortable familiarity, grounded in his roots. (This creates different pressures for Shane, but this is a meta about Ilya)

Once Shane accepts his sexuality and his feelings for Ilya, he zeroes in on him, target acquired, seeking BOYFRIEND. Ilya, a man who has always accepted and even embraced his sexuality, is the one who's hesitant. He even considers breaking it off with Shane because his worry for him after his injury is too great, too painful. He's used to relationships being transactional, people in his life seek payment from him. Money to his brother, respect to his father, glory to Russia. He gives and gives, yet they view Ilya as eternally indebted to them. They hate him and he hates them back. But with Shane there's a growing attachment.

And Shane is giving. When he invites Ilya to the cottage, he's not asking anything of Ilya, only giving. And I think this rends Ilya down the middle, exposing him, breaking down the walls that not only kept other people at arms length, but kept him safe from hurt and harm. The transience is part of his defense, sort of a "if they can't catch me then they can't hurt me" mentality, but now Shane is asking him to stay. To make plans and build a life and share his home. Remember, Shane is rooted, he's the one with connections that he wants to preserve, not out of obligation, but out of love. He wants Ilya to know his parents. He wants them to exist in the same universe. Shane's powerful desire to integrate Ilya into his life literally plucks Ilya out of thin air, plops him into a family unit, and forces him to content with everything that he's been running from.

Remember, Ilya is so obsessed with Shane's wholesomeness. Ilya wanted to fuck Shane in his real bed. He constantly thinks on how perfect Shane is, how wholesome he is. And his resentment for it grows into infatuation and then love. And once he has it, Ilya wants to stay. He wants to "anchor himself to Shane, and just stay." No wonder being in a relationship triggers Ilya to finally deal with his depression. In order to be in a successful, loving, and committed relationship, you must be vulnerable to a point, and in doing so you yourself have to acknowledge feelings that are easy to ignore when you're alone. Vulnerability with others breeds vulnerability with yourself.