Cassie's Chronicles

So today is the 3 year anniversary of my grandma's passing. But I could have sworn it was tomorrow. I was working at IHOP at the time, so I knew it was around this time. But, I was mentally preparing myself for tomorrow being the day. Then I find out that it is today and it hit me like a ton of bricks. My head is throbbing like crazy from crying so hard. I wasn't expecting it and it was like a knife in the heart. My brain fog has been bad but I didn't realize it was that bad until now.

So, I'm spending the day taking it semi-easy. Watching some movies, doing some light cleaning and trying to find my bin of photos so I can enjoy some photos of my grandma. I miss her so much and all I can think of is her in the hospice bed in that nursing home covered in bruises. The sounds she made is replaying in my head as I type this. My "aunt" being the vapid bitch that she is, attacking me for visiting her before she passed, and not giving me the recipe book that my grandma wanted me to have or any of her ashes. That also hurts. Knowing that she used her death to hurt us more after the fact. Who does that?

I have a clip somewhere of my grandma laughing and saying the word "fuck" because she never cursed like that and she'd scold us if we did. She only said it that one time because my sister begged and pleaded for her to. I'm going to try and keep that good memory in my head instead of the bad. It's not easy, but I'm going to do my best.