My Sound and Fury

*pretends I’m reblogging this for fun but I’m really reblogging this because I’m super fucking paranoid*

This is the money Patrick. Reblog so money will come your way

“I’m getting back in line.”

BLESS ME PATRICK

PATRICK I HAVE NEVER STRAYED YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU

@billshitposts

*rolls sleeves* aight dude lets get me some money

Can i just *Gets in line*…there

Y'all I reblogged this and got $240 in tips in one day at work so 🤔🤔🤔

Me: depression isn’t bothering me Me: *forgets to eat, either sleeps too much or not at all, feels nothing 90% of the time, doesn’t change clothes for 8 days* Me: positive vibes ✌

its also generally just classist and western centric too

“Bisexuals always end up picking a side” Yaa all those fake bisexuals meeting the love of their life and staying together forever and getting married and being happy with only one person those assholes

Shoot your money all over my face

i just posted this stupid thing last night and i swear to god my brother came over today and said oh by the way heres the $300 i owe you. no fucking lie!

secondhand embarrassment is pure agony and i wish a lot of comedy didnt rely on it

I saw a guy with a “Smart Phones Make Dumb People” bumper sticker talking on a Samsung Galaxy as he drove down the highway, and honestly I haven’t seen modern art in motion like that in my entire millennial life

if my son cheats on his girlfriend ima smack the shit out of him and send the girl a sephora giftcard.