Julia

I’m crying they all look so happy

I CAN’T BREATHE!!!

Oh my god at first I thought this was gonna be an old spice commercial

Mark Zuckerberg’s website for finding out which girls in his class were single upended American democracy and destabilized the Atlantic alliance.

that weird trauma dichotomy where you’ve always been considered more grown up and mature than your peers but now that you’re an adult you feel like you’re still a child emotionally

An assassin is really just a serial killer who takes requests.

Excuse you, they take commissions

i work as an actor at a haunted house and this little girl who was dressed as a cat came through she saw me and was like “no thank you please dont get closer i am already scared” and i was like alright i appreciate the good manners ill back off. so her dad picks her up and starts going down the rest of my dark hall and i just hear her yell “everybody wait! i dropped my ears” so i find them and give them to her dad and she goes “thank you but i hope i never see you again goodbye” and waved over her dads shoulder. i waved back and she gave me a thumbs up. honestly this kid has a lot of guts props for being so polite when shes terrified i hope she gets a lot of candy this year

Everyday is leg day when you’re running from your problems