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Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."

"Kill them with kindness" wrong. 10 PLAGUES OF EGYPT!🩸🩸🩸🐸🐸🐸🪰🪰🪰🐅🐅🐅🐂🐂🐂🥵🥵🥵⛈️⛈️⛈️ 🦗🦗🦗 🌑🌑🌑🪦🪦🪦

im like a kitten, i need attention and i need to curl up next to you and i need you to pet me and tell me im cute

To be clear I have never been more proud of anyone or anything

its 10 AM on a weekday .

Isn't there an industrial boiler you're supposed to be maintaining

having feelings that contradict your morals is soooo fucking annnoooooyyyiiingggggg. can the emotions and logic department get on the same page im tired of having to like strangle myself into being a tolerable person

unrestrained summer fun

post so nice had to reblog it twice and force it down everyone's throats

Was I the one scrolling this post like "surely this is going to be the last one"

hi my name is dark yagami and my goal is to give birth to billions of people

what companies who sell you anti aging stuff don't want you to know is that if you're chill about aging, your perception of attractiveness changes as you get older. there is no "wall" where you suddenly become ugly and unfuckable because in my experience what actually happens is you get into your thirties and suddenly realize that people in their thirties are hot as fuck and the "flaws" that the beauty industry wants you to panic about are a feature not a bug, and based on the std statistics in nursing homes I don't really expect that trajectory to change.

look it's great that you guys have always been into milfs and silver foxes since the day you popped out of the womb, I'm happy for you, you're not the target audience of this post though.

I don't rly understand the whole 6 7 thing but I must say I'm glad to know they're still releasing new funny numbers. 420 and 69 had been shouldering a lot of weight for a long time.