happy donna sheridan unprotected sex day (1/3), everybody!!!

Cosmic Funnies
Not today Justin
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YOU ARE THE REASON

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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Product Placement
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@monteraybay
happy donna sheridan unprotected sex day (1/3), everybody!!!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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no one is stupid in quite the same way as a tumblr user
apparently this meme didn’t actually exist, I just imagined it so vividly I was convinced I could google it, but i could not, so i made it myself.
Im reading Dracula rn and i busted up when I read the lizard part like WHAT DO U MEAN HE’S GOT HIS DOGS OUT AND THEIR GRASPING THE CORNERS OF THE WALL HE’S GOING FACE DOWN ON???

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usamerican soldier STUNNED into silence when he learns that his willing and paid participation in the murder and neocolonization of foreign people is a huge red flag to everyone with a conscience
usamerican civilian stunned to learn that justifying and defending this willing and paid participation (even tho it's the only way to go to college/get a job/whatever nice thing that is apparently worth more than other people's lives and freedoms) is an equally huge red flag fr fr fr
HAPPY PRIDE! 🌈
Interview with the Vampire (2022 —)
idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????
'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa
THIRTY TWO??????
Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.
May I present the best apple:
the world is so big and beautiful
proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive
identifying a maladaptive coping mechanism is so bitter sweet like that’s great now i know what i need to stop doing. but that’s literally my something
i get why people don't believe in marriage as a social construct but legally it is the best and easiest way to say "this is who i trust to take care of me when i can't take care of myself" and i'm so glad gay people fought for that right bc when shit gets scary at least i know im in good hands
happy fourth of july to the philippines ONLY
link to article
hi, filipino here. just want to say that our independence day is june 12, not july 4. july 4 is when the united states government decided that they would recognize our freedom, specifically because it is your independence day and they wanted to cement their cultural hegemony over our country. and because of their influence on our country this was recognized for a time as our independence day. we still commemorate it, but i hope you can understand why we don’t want our independence day to be associated so closely with our former colonizer. it wasn’t even a work holiday for us.
june 12 is the day that we filipinos declared our own independence for ourselves, and that is what we celebrate as independence day
Happy Independence Day, Philippines!
one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"
the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.

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I just ate one
You can lie when you name things