monday

i am terrified all the time and i am also stupid

i am just an amalgamation of all the traits my friends gifted to me. hoovers and eyeliner methods, mopping routines and mannerisms i loved too much to let go. i love my friends and i love who they make me.

being on tumblr at the ripe age of 23 feels . 😟😟 actually exactly right. yes. i am here and i am aging and i am young but not but am. and i am ok and i am not running out of time, im just 23 and conscious.

sometimes i wonder if screens ruin my sleep (yes) but then i think about how if i was alive at any other moment in time i'd probably just find something else to mull over each night. maybe books or sewing or staring at my hands. anything to ward off the night.

i love my partner and i never ever want to take him for granted. i dont want to lose sight of the blessing he is, so when i feel myself getting too used to the goodness i remind myself how lucky i am and how i should never waste these tender moments. i hold him in both arms and he radiates love. and he snores but thats okay too