I would also swear off guys if Michael Cera creampied me.

sucking a man’s dick is lowkey so evil cause he looks so at peace and at ease and no man should feel peace in their life

Bite it off

looking for a sloth gf

not this one

YES this one.

OF ALL THE MOTHERFUCKERS ON THIS WEBSITE

I hope everyone is having a fucking day

u ever eat something just cuz its carbs? like it doesnt even taste that good, ur stomach just Wants it?

Me as the sole survivor of the apocalypse, commenting "last" on every YouTube video.

remember when linguini brought a rat he found back to his apartment and got all embarrassed and was like it’s not much. to the rat

linguini is the only millennial character ever written correctly

yknow i saw an article that was like “robert pattinson standing strong against the batman hate! :)” and im like. you fools. you absolute clowns. don’t you know who you’re dealing with? you realize this is the man who waded through all of the twilight hate? with stride? basically brushed it off of his shoulder immediately? even as a non twilight fan in the early 2000s i knew this man would never succumb to the words of the simple minded. batman criticism means nothing to him. he cannot be defeated now. youve cast the perfect impermeable wall. he’s too powerful and we’re at his mercy

i want an “i flexed and the sleeves fell off” shirt except its a long sleeve shirt and the sleeves are definitely still on it

When Tumblr goes premium let’s all use one account like netflix

the password is “shoelaces”

if you like beef flavored ramen youre fucked up in the head

this is the new one