𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

beyond this, so much of pre-safe sport gymnastics was about force. it was having your coach sit on your back to push you into a middle split, or press on your shoulders to force an over split. it was being made to train & compete on injuries, regardless of how much pain the athlete is in, because winning is more important than recovery

naturally, this is going to stunt trinity’s capacity for empathy. how would she know how to care that langdon is struggling with addiction, or coping with chronic pain, when she was doing high-intensity work outs every day for 10+ years on sprained ankles, pulled muscles, and possibly even broken bones?

if she was expected to suck it up and push through at twelve, then in her eyes — he can do that with his back pain at 35. especially because trinity is most likely dealing with chronic pain too, she is just ignoring it

beyond this — competitive gymnastics makes you so hyper aware your body. many gyms don’t allow their gymnasts to wear shorts over their leotards during meet season to prepare them for competition, so every day for 4+ hours — trinity would be wearing nothing but a skin tight bodysuit. meanwhile, she’d be surrounded by other girls with bodies she believed were better than hers, while hearing constant comments like “i can see your lunch” , “tuck in your belly” and so on

all of this ties into the perfection element — as aesthetics are crucial in gymnastics. there are so many rules about competition looks to the extent where deductions are written into the code of points regarding misplaced hairs, a visible bra strap, or visible underwear line

every single element of gymnastics is calculated and that obsession with control & perfection doesn’t leave just because you’ve retired

so of course as an adult, trinity is obsessed with being the best. of course she’s she using over confidence to mask her insecurity. if she lets it slip that she isn’t actually as good as she wants to seem — she’s vulnerable for attack

and if there is one thing that gymnastics has taught trinity, it is that if she wants to protect herself as an adult — she always has to be on the offense.