Look...
...if I'm going to carry the seeds of my own destruction within me, you can't expect me NOT to rip one out and throw it at somebody every now and again. It's just not realistic. Nope, that's your seed now, buddy.

Product Placement
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

shark vs the universe
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins
taylor price
i don't do bad sauce passes
Sade Olutola

roma★

blake kathryn
h
Monterey Bay Aquarium

Kiana Khansmith
occasionally subtle
tumblr dot com
sheepfilms

@theartofmadeline

#extradirty

Origami Around
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seen from Netherlands

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@mockramblings
Look...
...if I'm going to carry the seeds of my own destruction within me, you can't expect me NOT to rip one out and throw it at somebody every now and again. It's just not realistic. Nope, that's your seed now, buddy.

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OKAY CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE FUCK YOU SHIP A PACKAGE OF COOKIES TO A FRIEND WHO LIVES IN NEW JERSEY, ONLY TO HAVE IT NOT GET THERE ON TIME BECAUSE IT SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN GUAM?
I JUST
GUAM?
IM CRYING REAL TEARS MAH DUDES THE COOKIES ARE IN GUAM
KATIE TRIED TO SEND US COOKIES OUTTA THE GOODNESS OF HER HEART AND JUST
“OHHHH THESE COOKIES WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO NEW JERSEY, PHIL? I THOUGHT YOU SAID
12/27, 8:37PM CT
ITS STILL IN FUCKING GUAM
12/28, 12:18PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE IN HONOLULU GUYS THEY ***FINALLY LEFT GUAM***
12/28, 10:22PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE FINALLY ON THEIR WAY TO NEW JERSEY
GO COOKIES GO
@phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper @homebeccer GET READY
lol i was looking through my history to find the tracking number page and
12/30, 12:39AM CT
@phantomrose96 @homebeccer @cupcakecreeper
holy fuCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS
THE COOKIES ARE ALMOST THERE
The saga of Katie’s Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season
THEY’VE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEY’RE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP
COOKIES ACQUIRED
THE THRILLING CONCLUSION
also as a bonus visual here’s a rough approximation of these cookies’ journey
how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes
SO FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, @homebeccer @phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper AND I WANTED TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST THE U.S. GOVERNMENT TO INTENTIONALLY SEND THESE COOKIES FROM TEXAS TO GUAM TO NEW JERSEY AND???????????????
AND
IT’S
IT’S
IT’S NOT AN OPTION IT’S NOT AN OPTION I CAN’T I-
I COULDN’T EVEN HAVE SENT THESE COOKIES TO GUAM EVEN IF I’D HAVE TRIED
Cant believe we uncovered the Guam Cookie glitch folks
Its not even an in-game feature
Oh my god it’s back
H O W
I’ve had this sort of thing happen.
At least it explained why the package took so long to get here.
I appreciate that they have an Entire Stamp for “Missent to Nepal”
No one said “hey let’s stop missending things to Nepal” they just said “let’s make a stamp for this” and called it a day.
I’m gonna get Missent to Guam tattooed on my arm in commemoration.
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
Get Moist von Lipwig in charge of the US postal service ASAP
Ok I know this is super old now but I work at a post office and I was curious about the price so I did some digging and I still don’t have a definite answer because THE REASON it says “no shipping services available” is because all shipping services were actually suspended to Guam at the time. As in no packages, parcels, letters, or mail or any kind could be sent to Guam. So not only is it mind boggling that it got sent so far in the wrong direction of its intended destination, but because nothing should have been able to get in to Guam period.
You QUITE LITERALLY could not have sent these cookies to Guam if you tried.
...Are you sure they were cookies and not Guam-crackers?
sdxfcgvzdxfcgvhzdxfcgvhbjnkmlcgvhbjnk science
#the reason that lab safety regulations are the way they are is because literally all chemists are like this #as in 100% of them #no exceptions (via @prokopetz)
When the CEO of the company that didn't turn away Nazi business says "this isn't going to work" you know it's bad.
404 has been knocking it out of the park since they started. Please support their original reporting on this! If you subscribe to nothing else I highly recommend them. Their podcast is great too.
Planning documents for "Scout" say the plan is to "make people addicted" to the tool before adding new features.

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I wish I could commune with the dead and talk to houdini (not to be like lol spiritualism is real) but so I could tell him in that in the year 2023 tumblr considers him too slutty. #harrygate
as a self appointed member of harry houdini’s post mortem PR team I think he’d want you all to know he stripped naked for a REASON. he wanted to show he was NOT a fraud. and to show off his strong PHYSIQUE. stop making it weird. he’s just wearing a speedo ok
No, no, I'd say that's just exactly the right amount of slutty.
It's that time of year again. Happy Pride, Mr. Rollins.
SAY IT LOUDER FOR LITERALLY EVERYONE 🗣
I need an entire book narrated by the goblins and I need it yesterday

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Catastrophize Benedictine
Hyperfocus Bulgogi is a shoo-in for third place this year!
"I didn’t like that they were using my motivation and hard work as evidence against me. It would not be the last time this would happen in my life."
My mother didn’t have the budget for me to compete with the kids who had Jordans or AF1s or who rocked any of the more expensive brands. Thi
I'm a transgender Texan. I have a lot of reasons to reblog this one.
Female Dwarves - With or without beards?
With beards
Without beard
Child Dwarves - With or without beards?
With beards
Without beards
Baby Dwarves - With or without beards?
With beards
Without beards
They shed their baby beards to make room for their adult beards. Like with baby teeth.
Crumch
Paging @gothiccharmschool !
FUZZY BABY!!!
See, if I was going to be a werecritter, this is what I'd want to turn into.

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One of the most common ways you preserve pork without refrigeration is keeping it in really salty water. This makes the pork borderline inedible because it’s so salty. What you don’t see in medieval fantasy is people soaking their meat in water for a bit before they cook it.
That’s also a reason to boil your meat though. Like yeah meat tastes better if you sear it first but sometimes you’ve gotta get that salt out.
You can also smoke your meats and make them into jerky basically. It’s not as juicy as pickling them though.
Also medieval peasants had more meat than you’d think because of these preservation methods. You can feed a pig scraps for the whole year and then butcher it at the start of winter and preserve the meat. Because of this they also often had access to lard.
Medieval peasants also didn’t eat chicken very often. That’s a source of eggs. If you’re lucky enough to own a cow it’s also unlikely you’d eat it unless it’s on its way out anyways. That’s a good source of milk. It’s more advantageous to keep a cow or chicken alive than to eat them.
These days chicken is usually the cheapest form of meat available. If someone is eating a chicken in a medieval setting though it’s either because they didn’t need that chicken anymore or because they’re rich enough to have chickens for eating.
If we’re talking mutton, European sheep are more often kept for wool or milk while middle eastern or African sheep are more often kept for eating. Europeans would of course eat sheep sometimes but it’s another one of those cases where it makes more sense to keep the animal alive rather than eating it.
Fat from a fat tailed sheep makes for good cooking fat if your setting is more middle eastern or North African inspired. European settings would prefer butter, lard, or olive oil depending on where exactly they are.
Goats weren’t super popular in Europe during medieval and ancient times. Very common in the Middle East and North Africa though both for milk and for meat.
A cow or ewe must have a calf or lamb every year to produce milk. Half of those offspring will be male, and thus will not produce milk. Ergo they were eaten, because you only need one bull or ram for a much larger number of breeding females.
The limiting factor for livestock keeping in the medieval period was winter fodder--there was enough summer grazing for the spring births in fallow fields that they fertilized with their manure , but not enough hay and grazing to get them through the winter. So the lambs--all the males and some of the females--would be butchered in the fall. A bull calf might be butchered as veal (or "baby beef", depending on timing) its first fall or might be over-wintered and butchered as beef the following fall. A few of the older ewes would be butchered as mutton, replaced with female lambs from the spring births. A female calf would be traded, sold, or kept as a replacement.
Similarly, half of the chicks born would be male, destined for spring/early summer butchering. (Or caponed, castrated, though that's much more difficult with a bird.) Chicken is a lean meat, though, and rather tough in a free-range bird, so it was usually stewed rather than roasted. Capon was a bit of a luxury food due to the difficulty of castrating them. Geese were much more popular due to the fattier meat.
Pork was plentiful due in part to the large size of a sow's litter. Over-winter one sow, and you get eight piglets or so, much more than a cow's single calf or a ewe's one to four lambs. Even if you didn't keep your own sow, buying piglets to raise and fatten was common. Most medieval pigs would forage rather than being fed scraps--hence the ubiquity of swineherd as a humble occupation.
I think The Wolf and His King is discounted on Amazon US (as an ebook) for like, the next 9 hours, but I don't know what price it's discounted to, because even with a VPN it's still only showing me UK prices. But it says it's a limited sale for the next 9 hours and 12 minutes or something, so here you go!
Seems to be $3.99 on Amazon right now! Looks like a fun and fascinating read, too.