Nausikhiya

......By now I am convinced that I am lost. No no… it’s not like I have nothing to do, to be frank I don’t even have time die!

I wake up in the morning, I have a list of thing I must accomplish with the ending day. I have to work on 10 different things and learn a lot more things. But none of this gives me any excitement. I don’t want to wake up and get started with things I have to complete. I do not enjoy  the world around me anymore. I am at the bestest of the place at the moment, many are struggling to even have a glimpse of the life I have. But none of this makes me happy.

I am in search of something, I do not know what it is. But something that makes me happy, makes me dance myself to it’s way. Something I am passionate about. They say it’s ok to not have a passion, to not have a plan...go with the flow, you might discover something. But at the moment, this absence of passion, something I love, is making things worse for me.

This restlessness is unbearable. Every morning crying to get out of bed, dragging myself to work is killing me inside. I don’t know how to stop and find what I am looking for.

Toh hua kuch yu ki usne aaj kaha, “bas..ye aur nahi chal sakta…”

In shabdo se hairan pareshan, ye jaante hue bhi ki who kya kehna chah raha hai, jhijhakte hue aur badi himmat juta kar, akhirkaar mene pooch hi liya “Kya? Kya nahi chal sakta?”

Iske baad jo mila who na mujhe ganwara tha aur na hi manjoor….ek lambi khamoshi!

Bas khamoshi?

Shayad yahi sabse accha tareeka tha uske pass bhi woh sab bayan karne ka jo us waqt hum par beet rahi thi….

Kehne ko toh juda hone ki baat thi par ab bhi who saare pal hume bandhe hue thay jo kabhi humne saath bitaye thay…..

Har ek lamha tasveer ki tarah nazro ke saamne tha…

Kya itna aasan hai rishte todna or jodna?

Duvidha main sab hain, main bhi or who bhi..aur shayad aap bhi..

Humare ye khyal, hum par kaafi baar haavi hotain hain, or ese main humesha kisi apne ko hi chot pohanchti hai…

Ye duvidha chand lafzon main bayan karna shayad asaan nahi hai,

Aur shayad lafz in ehsaaso ko bayan kar bhi nahi sakte…

“Bahut hain sahi sohabatain gulon ki magar,

wo zindgi hai jo kaanto ke darmiya guzre.”

          - Jigar Moradabadi

Kabhi tanha, toh kabhi hazaron ke beech....

Kabhi muskurahat, toh kabhi aasoon bhari raatain....

kabhi suraj ki Tarah chamchamti hui, toh kabhi amawas ki kaali raat….

Ye zindgi hai sahib, kab kya rang dikhlade koi nahi jaanta.

Ye jo beet jaati hai kabhi Khushi or kabhi gami ke beech, ye samjhte samjhte  ki ab tehar jana chahiye ya chalte rehna chahiye, shayad yahi zindgi hai….