Paranormals and Their Paramours

And it will definitely be around in a year.

Here’s my “went to school uphill both ways in blinding snow” opinion.  I’ve been a lurker part of fandoms that have been going on since the ‘80′s.  Even if/when fandoms slow down, as others have said earlier in the thread, all it takes is one person to keep it alive.

All that’s happened is the less passionate fans have moved on to other things, but the ones who are very attached are still here, being the heart of the fandom.

I’ve been trying to be better at interacting since I’m not posting.  The only reason I’m not posting is because instead of working on shorter, easily postable Entrapdak fics, I keep waking up going “well, I want to work on one of my 100K+ Entrapdak epics!”.  But I often fall short because I have far fewer daily spoons than my heart would like 99% of the time.

Sometimes things do work out though, don't shut people out completely.

My apartment even has an unofficial “outer” and “inner” Sanctum.  I tolerate people in the outer Sanctum when I absolutely have to.  But if you make it into the inner Sanctum, well, I can count the number of people comfortably allowed there on one hand and have fingers left over.

I’m perfectly fine with telemedicine, deliveries, my daily call with my Mom, and interacting with folks on the Interwebs when I feel up to it.

I don't want to fight. I don't even care about changing anyone's mind.

What I care about is pointing out inaccuracies in character assessment and resolving them.

I've been thinking about this tweet for a few days now and it's amazing to me how the longer I think about it how much more I agree with it.

I’ve had the feedback before that Hordak and Entrapta should argue/fight more in my writing.  But.. they do occasionally argue.  So I had no idea how to make it clearer.

Now I see it’s the way I express it, and I was doing so completely unawares.  It’s because they’re not “knock down screaming” fights.  They are the fights of two neurodivergent adults who are doing their best to understand each other, not “win” the argument.  And I was coming from the place of how I argue now, rather than how I did when I was neurotypical.  For example, when I was a teen, I would happily debate with my father.  Now I avoid it as much as possible because he doesn’t care about being correct; he cares about being right.  And that’s.. not how my brain works anymore.

I was never really a fan of Big Misunderstandings when I was younger, and now I’m just old enough to roll my eyes and sigh when I see one pop up in media.  Doesn’t ruin my enjoyment of things, but when something can be easily resolved by just ruddy TALKING, it rubs me the wrong way if it lasts too long.

I mean, we see it in SPOP itself.  Hordak and Entrapta do NOT argue like, say, Catra and Adora.  As much as I love Catradora, Entrapdak is just so.. soul-satisfying to me on so many levels.  Which is why I think my love of Entrapdak is so strong, I believe it will be a lifelong love for me.

I don't want to fight. I don't even care about changing anyone's mind.

What I care about is pointing out inaccuracies in character assessment and resolving them.

I've been thinking about this tweet for a few days now and it's amazing to me how the longer I think about it how much more I agree with it.

I’ve had the feedback before that Hordak and Entrapta should argue/fight more in my writing.  But.. they do occasionally argue.  So I had no idea how to make it clearer.

Now I see it’s the way I express it, and I was doing so completely unawares.  It’s because they’re not “knock down screaming” fights.  They are the fights of two neurodivergent adults who are doing their best to understand each other, not “win” the argument.  And I was coming from the place of how I argue now, rather than how I did when I was neurotypical.  For example, when I was a teen, I would happily debate with my father.  Now I avoid it as much as possible because he doesn’t care about being correct; he cares about being right.  And that’s.. not how my brain works anymore.

I'm not sure how to answer this, anon, or what you're asking, really.

@doberaptor

Mm... So, I don't think it's a matter of character appeal, really. At least, not for me.

It's more like... I don't know how to put it right, but the idea of a disabled character being magically healed at the end of the story is really weird?

Like. I don't know. Do we all wish all maladies could be healed? Sure. But that's not how things are. And in having a chronic illness, Hordak is a character whom viewers with disabilities and chronic conditions can relate to. Having him suddenly healed at the end, given that that is not what viewers are likely to experience in their own situations, is uncomfortable for me.

And, I mean, I'm not disabled. So I guess I don't know. Maybe this isn't something that bothers the relevant people? Maybe they don't mind, or they find it nice? I'm not sure. I just know that I find it inherently strange to consider, and I don't like the idea of it.

I guess it's also a character arc thing. Like, a big part of Hordak's story is learning that his imperfections (AKA his disability) don't make him lesser. It's learning to value himself as his imperfect self. Take those imperfections away, make him a "perfect" clone, and what sort of arc is that? "Learn to value yourself as you are, imperfections and all... Oh, nevermind! The imperfections are gone. Carry on." It has this sense of "your happy ending involves you not being disabled anymore." Which, I guess, goes back to my discomfort over the whole thing.

And y'know, his arc didn't fully address it anyway. He never really learned to be comfortable with himself; that bit of growth was put on hold because of Prime. Which is probably why fic writers often try to incorporate it: Hordak still needs to learn how to take care of himself with kindness.

Hm.

To address the original anon’s question, if Hordak actually did get a new body from Prime, Hordak would still be a total mess, if not more of one. 

Submission is not weakness. There is nothing inherently wrong or unhealthy about choosing to be submissive in a sexual (or nonsexual) context. You can be mentally healthy and whole and feel better about being the submissive member of a relationship.

While any relationship dynamic can be or become abusive or unhealthy, please note that sub/dom relationships are not inherently unhealthy. Those kinds of relationships often take greater pains to avoid triggers and to make sure both partners are being fulfilled mentally and physically, while also protecting their mental health. A good sub/dom relationship will build someone up, not tear them down.

So, while everyone is completely entitled to their shipping headcanons, I am going to correct any assumption that choosing to be a submissive partner in a relationship is in any way an indication of abuse or an unhealthy coping mechanism. That’s a very outdated way of thinking, and can be extremely hurtful to people who prefer that lifestyle or dynamic.

Submissive =/= Door mat  Dominant =/= Abusive Jerk

Despite how such relationships tend to be portrayed in various media.

In fact, my introduction to the lifestyle was through one of the healthiest relationships I ever had, and it ended up healing a lot of past trauma I’d been carrying around with me for a very long time.  It also taught me that who I am is beautiful and worthy of positive attention.

To me, the equivalent would be… oh… Entrapta hearing Hordak call himself “defective” (or, in our terms, disabled) and answering him by telling him that he’s not. Which. Y’know. He is. And it wouldn’t be right, in this situation, to reply with “oh, it’s okay; you’re not really disabled.” 

What Entrapta does instead is acknowledge that both she and he have what are considered, in the mainstream, to be shortcomings. Flaws. And she points out that having flaws is not a reason to think of oneself as lesser, or to deprive oneself of happiness. She looks at herself, at what are considered to be her flaws, accepts them as a part of herself, and moves on. Living her life in a way that makes her happy. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t suffer emotional distress in the process (the isolation she subjects herself to is a clear problem), but overall, she has a healthy view of how one should view and handle one’s perceived shortcomings.

And that’s the difference between how Hordak and Entrapta react to one another’s self-deprecation. Entrapta sees Hordak labeling himself a failure and tries to show him that being a supposed failure is not a reason to think poorly of oneself, or to condemn oneself to a life of unhappiness. She essentially tells him that “yes, you are disabled; that does not mean that you are a lesser person, or that you deserve this pain you’re going through.”

Whereas Hordak means well in his “you are not a failure” reassurance, but he still falls prey to this sense of “no, you are not flawed,” because he is still mired in the idea that flaws are a punishable offense. Eventually, as he grows and learns healthier behaviors, I expect that his reassurance will likewise shift to “your difficulties in understanding others do not give others the right to be cruel to you.” Which, I think, is a better message than “your difficulties in understanding others do not exist.”

Of course, ultimately, the idea both of them might grow into is that these “flaws” aren’t flaws at all, but are simply different ways of being. And thus need not be acknowledged as flaws in the first place. But I don’t think either of them are quite there yet (Entrapta is probably closer!) c:

I suppose. I think. I’m not sure if this comes across properly. Or if I’m assessing appropriately. I’m sure someone out there is better equipped to express this than I am, and I welcome their takes!

I had to take a little time to get my thoughts in order because something about this interpretation wasn’t sitting right with me.

It’s not that Hordak is saying Entrapta is perfect or without flaw.  For Horde Prime, and thus for Hordak, being a “failure” is the absolute worst thing you can be. 

I love how She-ra is so diverse, with so many different characters and a rainbow of skin colors (even blue and green)!

I don’t know, I just want to see him be in so much confusing pain that he would want to get purged by shera than go through Hordak’s physical and emotional pain.

Oh frick I went to angst.

I don't know if this helps or not, but the thing is, when you have chronic pain (especially coupled with mental anguish), your tolerance level gets pretty insane.  I always have to quantify exactly what my "10" on the pain scale is (alternating between puking and being curled up in fetal position), since many people rate stubbing their toe as a 10 (okay, slight exaggeration, but you get the point).  Hordak is used to the pain.  But if Horde Prime experienced it for even a few seconds, he would fold.

Because most people (thankfully) have absolutely no idea what it’s like living with certain pain levels 24/7.  I see a scenario like that as a “Hordak is truly stronger than Horde Prime”, because even just a taste of what Hordak lives with sends Horde Prime to his knees.

Of COURSE Entrapdak is weird!  That’s one of the many reasons I love it so much.  :)

Seriously, though.. I’m short, curvy, enthusiastic (have been seen literally squeeing over things in public), have a voice that makes telemarketers ask if my “mommy’s home”.. and I’m in my 40′s.  My Mom is the same way, and she’s over 70 (with less grey hair than me)!  So you don’t have to be a teenager to act like Entrapta does.  Therefore, I have no trouble with the character designers considering her to be in her late 20′s/early 30′s.  Do you see Angella as a teenager?  I mean, her face looks really young.  Why do you see Entrapta that way, but not Angella?  Because she’s a queen?  Because she acts like a Mom (which Entrapta does in S5)?

I have shipped non-human/human relationships practically all my life.  I mean, if Entrapdak weirds you out, Micah/Angella definitely should!  Angella is an immortal being, and she married the very much younger, human Micah.  If not, why not?  Just something to think about.

Entrapdak also has all my most beloved tropes:  Grumpy one/Sunshine one, Jerk With a Heart of Gold, Best Friends to Lovers, and Size Difference on top of seeing a ship with two disabled characters that is based on mutual respect, professional and intellectual equality, and obvious affection.  I mean, there’s a reason I screenshotted the scene I did for my icon!

*looks at the meal timers set on her computer*

*looks at her snack supplies at hand*

*has learned 3 and 4 the hard way*

Tips #5 and #6, what helps me is drinking some Gatorade for both.  If I can’t stomach or safely swallow solid food, that’s my go-to.  And I only discovered that due to a visiting nurse’s suggestion.  (On occasions it lasts all day, I use protein shakes as meals)  Apparently you can use Pedialyte instead of Gatorade, but it’s so. much. more. expensive.  So gimme that Gatorade.