hi girlies

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

"bears repeating" and "time flies" are two kinds of creatures that fill similar ecological niches

BRING HIM BACK

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

i miss when summers were normal and not literal hell

oh thank goodness

blond people are either laura palmer or jake paul

lestat is jake paul. stop your madness